There are plenty of bloggers asking questions about the worst financial mistakes you have made. And there’s plenty of material there. But what about those of us who didn’t make mistakes and found ourselves in debt anyway? Some of us didn’t live large and buy tons of flashy stuff.
When I think of the biggest impact on my finances, it has nothing to do with choices I made. Instead, it’s that I had the very bad taste to get life-threateningly ill at age 19. I spent three and a half months in the hospital, most of that time on life support.
Even after I was able to move again (for an explanation: Guillain-Barre Syndrome) I was exhausted. At first, we chalked it up to muscle weakness. I hadn’t moved, after all, in months.
Eventually, I was able to stand for more than five minutes without breaking into a sweat, but the exhaustion never went away. As it stands now, I can run 2-3 errands a day, plus work; or I can run 1 errand a day, work and do my exercise (assuming I got enough sleep). And that’s actually an increase from Seattle. The Arizona sunshine and Tim being able to drive has definitely made a difference.
Being that limited has a huge impact on my ability to earn a living. There just aren’t many work-from-home jobs and, even then, I’m not sure I could handle full-time work. Under Social Security rules, I can’t earn more than $950 a month or my monthly checks ($784) go away.
That means, I would have to be able to earn about $1750 a month, which is almost $11 working full time. Since I can work maybe 20-25 hours a week, I’d need to make about $20 an hour. and the chances of getting a job like that are slim when your fatigue has caused you to perform poorly or miss too much work. (Not to mention the three-year gap in employment before this contract job came around.)
So, getting sick and becoming disabled was my worst financial mistake. What’s yours?
If you don’t have an example of that, talk about the worst financial mistake you almost made. And if you don’t have something that happened to you, perhaps share something you avoided doing
Elizabeth says
I feel for you…and can relate. Just thought I'd post so you don't think you're the only one (although in my case the unforeseen – and unable to be anticipated – catastrophe wasn't medical). It doesn't seem fair. Like you, it wasn't my choices that killed my finances. I never got the expensive clothes, nice restaurants, etc…and yet I have debt as if I had lived beyond my means, although I've alwyas been responsible. I was in grad school at the time catastrophe struck, without an income or anything other than credit cards to handle the catastrophe… Nothing to do but dig myself out now, sloooowly, which I will, eventually. But it is frustrating.
Abigail says
I understand, completely. It can be really frustrating when people talk about paying off debt by selling all the "toys" they bought that got them there. I remember thinking, to one very particular post, "Yeah but I don't HAVE a Ski-Doo to sell off. Otherwise, I would have by now!"
Carissa says
Being too generous.
Abigail says
This is interesting, but I'm not sure exactly what you mean. I have a vague idea. I'm assuming you're referring to helping out friends/family even if you can't necessarily afford it. But if you feel comfortable elaborating, I'd love to hear more.
@ConvertingMe says
My credit is bad for a couple of reasons and some are even my own fault (identity theft by a relative is a killer) but my worst mistake is actually two. I got a credit card in college. I know.
My second was purchasing a car then moving three months later without securing employment.
Abigail says
Ouch. I am still agog that relatives would steal identity. Of course, I think my BIL would have done this by now if my husband hadn't been in such a crappy situation himself for most of their adult lives.
And if it makes you feel any better, I knew a girl who was waiting at a bus stop right in front of a car dealership. She got bored and strolled over and walked away with a new car. This was when her credit cards were maxed out, too.
Carol says
Had a baby, baby had to have emergency life saving surgery that the insurance company wouldn't pay for because we didn't get it "approved" first (on a Saturday morning of course) had a fire, husband lost his job, then I got a bunch of chronic illnesses. Its been a gas.
Abigail says
Wow, Carol. I am really sorry to hear that. I can believe the insurance company wouldn't pay (and it's not like you can afford legal fees to sue them, I'm guessing). I feel you on the chronic illnesses point. Tim has an "aunt" (close friend of the family) and both she and one of her daughters have MS. So I sometimes remember that fatigue is hardly the worst thing that can happen. (Though it's hard on a Type-A personality.)
I'm amazed you're able to type. I think that if I were you, I'd be rocking back and forth in the fetal position by now. Then again, babies/children don't understand that Mommy is having a nervous breakdown. So I suppose you keep going because, really, what else are you gonna do? (That's how I got through the hospital experience. That and many many sedatives.)
Monroe On a Budget says
Don't be too hard on yourself! Becoming ill is a life challenge, but not a mistake for the reason it wasn't your choice.
Abigail says
Monroe,
Thanks for your kind words. My talking of it as a mistake was supposed to be tongue-in-cheek. I know it's not a mistake. But it seems like almost every personal finance blog out there assumes that you got into debt out of negligence and financial immaturity. So I decided to turn the whole question on its head.
Meg says
My main financial challenge was something completely outside my control, but I compounded it by assuming for too long that my underemployed state was temporary and living paycheck to paycheck "just for now" instead of finding some way to live under my means and get an emergency fund going. Living below our means when we have one low-paying, full-time job and one decent but part-time job is not easy, but at least we aren't getting screwed by emergencies any more.
Abigail says
Sometimes bad luck compounds by our denial. If I had been in less denial when I got out of the hospital — I was so sure I could just bounce back, and many of the docs made it sound like I'd be back to normal eventually — I could have applied for disability while still at UW. It would have meant no years depleting my energy trying to work enough to support myself. And it would have meant I didn't spend 18 months unemployed, making my mom support me.
Plus, when I became suicidal around the time I finally had to stop working, I would have had Medicare. That would have meant my mom didn't deplete her savings trying to get me mentally healthy.
Denial is a powerful force. Sometimes it's important — it kept me relatively sane in the hospital. But after a certain point, it's crippling. I'm glad to hear you guys have rearranged your financial priorities. I know that the work you do is vastly underpaid so I can only imagine how hard it must be to keep going.
Oregonsun says
Wow…my list is sooo long…first, loaning money to a family member that didn't pay it back as promised. A crippling mistake. Not having enough money in savings to cover major medical issues. Finally, buying a home that is falling apart. Whew! Is that a big enough mess for anyone?
Abigail says
It'd be a big enough mess for me… by far!
Oregonsun says
I am so glad for your site…at least there is a place for someone that clearly has messed up BIG time. Thanks!!!
Abigail says
Thanks for being a reader! I thought it was about time to look at finance for those of us outside the purview — especially because anyone can take away lessons. Maybe people don't have chronic fatigue, but if you're a parent working full-time and trying to be frugal, my hope is that some of my advice will resonate! Things like that.
Revanche says
Having the "poor taste" to be related to my brother. 😀
Look at that, I'm finally developing a bit of a sense of humor about it; that only took 10 years. I dunno, my mistake was being Little Miss Go-To and taking care of everything for everyone forever. I've been called the 1950's American Dad more times than I like to admit at this point. [I just need to start closet alcoholism to complete the image … except I can't afford those highballs. ;)] Then again, I'm not sure I could have seen things develop any other way and lived with myself so it's just going to have to be one of those things. If nothing else, it keeps me too busy to feel sorry for myself and my own health issues. *looking at the bright side!*
Phil Gabriel says
My worst financial mistake was in letting my "emergency fund" get depleted without working my ass off to rebuild it as soon as possible.
At one time, after divorce left me financially devastated, I found a great job that included a good salary and no living expenses. All housing was provided by my employer. The downside was the possibility of sudden contract termination or death. The job was in Saudi Arabia. All in all, it was a good deal for the stage of life I was in at the time.
So after several years of living like a monk, I had accumulated an emergency fund that would have allowed me to live comfortably and support my family for six to twelve months. With that backup, I was able to make choices in employment and lifestyle.
Unfortunately, I entered my second marriage (for which I have no regrets) and the expenses of setting up a new household, combined with searching for a job that was not in a war zone, depleted my emergency fund.
Looking back, I could have avoided a lot of these expenses and rebuilt my fund, or at least not have depleted it entirely.
Since then, without the psychological backup of an emergency fund, I find that I have had to accept less than optimum job assignments just to keep the money flowing.
I am now working as hard as possible trying to pay off my debts and rebuild the fund. I have made it one of my priority commitments.