Tim’s dad needed to pick up a prescription. His mom had reminded us all week that the meds were running low, but we were sick all week.
So imagine Tim’s shock when, mere hours after we got back from the ER with news of the miscarriage, Nadine told him, “Now remember, Tim, tomorrow you have to take Dad to Fry’s to get his meds.”
She apparently mentioned one or two other errands she wanted to run, too, but he cut her off and snapped at her. She went away, teary-eyed. And yet, in the morning, broached the subject again.
I found all this out when he came storming in, ranting and raving. I offered to go deal with it.
After stressing to her that she needed to give him some space, I told her that we were both unwell. (Remember? Pneumonia for him, upper respiratory infection/miscarriage for me?) I said I knew that they depended on us for rides, and I was very sorry, but there was just no way we could run them around that day — or probably the next.
Then I gave her three options:
- Marc could walk the 3/4 of a mile to the bus stop and take the 4-minute ride to Fry’s. The bus ran once an hour on Saturdays.
- Tim had to return a Redbox movie at Walgreen’s, so they could transfer the prescription over and get a one-month supply.
- They could wait until we felt better.
She sat there like a small child being scolded. She hunched her shoulders in, looked down at a piece of paper in her hands, barely made eye contact and generally shrank in like I was an angry parent.
Also, she wouldn’t commit to any of the options. She came up with excuses for not transferring the prescription, even after I offered to pay the difference in cost.
So I just tried not to show my irritation and calmly told her that those were the options, as we could see them. And they could let us know what they decided.
We heard no more about the subject until today, when Tim agreed to take his dad on a short trip to Fry’s. Emphasis on short.
So when his mom handed his dad a list of about twenty items, Tim was not pleased. Nadine rushed to assure him that they only needed the five highlighted items on the list.
Nearly an hour later, they got back with four or five plastic bags full of groceries — some of which weren’t even on the original list.Well, his dad had the bags, Tim had gritted teeth and clenched jaw muscles.
I’m a little appalled at just how very little they have thought about Tim’s feelings in all this. And I’m not the only one.
Tim told me that, from now on, they can give him a list and some cash and he’ll run to the grocery store. Otherwise, they can get there on their own. At this moment, I can’t say I blame him.
And, hey, maybe being stranded will get them to start saving for a car.
Nadine wants to save for a bankruptcy lawyer first, even though they no longer have to worry about eviction or losing any other assets. Even though the average cost is $1,000-2,000, which will take them at least 4 months to save. THEN they can finally start saving for a car, which will surely take several more months, during which time we’ll be expected to get them from Point A to Point B.
Like I said, they really don’t get it.