I remember an article a few years ago about how frugal people tend to partner with spenders and vice versa. The article was based on a survey, and more often than not, people’s partners did not see eye to eye on finances.
The trend doesn’t necessarily surprise me, of course. I married someone with severe ADD, after all. That leads to a lot of different perspectives on immediacy, money and other priorities.
It also leads to a ton of fights.
That said, we’ve each eroded the other’s more extreme impulses(aka unpleasant consequence makers).
Tim’s learned that there’s something to be said for putting thought into what you do and don’t purchase. I’ve learned that living in fear of spending anything more than is absolutely necessary is… well… not really living. (Alas, these days I fear I’ve learned that lesson a little too well, but I’m trying to find a happy median again.)
There’s still a lot of work to be done on both our sides. There are times when I am penny wise and pound foolish. There are still a lot of times when Tim and I butt heads about what’s worth spending on. (Does that make us buttheads?)
But all in all, I think we’ve had a good effect on each other. Which is what I repeat over and over when I want to throttle him during an argument about money.
So what about you guys? Are you and your partner on the same page financially? If not, is that good for you or bad?





{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I wonder if dating websites like Match.com and eHarmony do a good job of helping you find mates who share your financial sensibilities. If they don't, perhaps there's a business opportunity!
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Abigail Reply:
October 10th, 2012 at 9:09 pm
I did once fill out an eHarmony profile for a rewards program (before I met Tim, obviously). I think there were some questions about financial outlooks. Even so, especially in these economic times, they should probably beef up that section.
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Abigail Reply:
October 10th, 2012 at 9:09 pm
I did once fill out an eHarmony profile for a rewards program (before I met Tim, obviously). I think there were some questions about financial outlooks. Even so, especially in these economic times, they should probably beef up that section.
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Spouse and I are on totally different pgs and have been for most of our lives. All he does is spend on things he does not have money for.
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