Inducing miscarriages and other DIY projects

There’s not much to report, but I thought I’d at least let you know we’re doing okay.

I’m still kind of floating on a bubble of something between denial and weariness. It hit me briefly on Saturday, and I cried for a few minutes. But that was more the idea that we’re just not going to have kids at all. And I suspect there’s far more water in that well. Or those tear ducts. Whatever.

Right now, I feel no need to push the issue. There’ll be plenty of time to deal with that as it comes. Probably during/after the actual miscarriage taking place.

Speaking of, we tested my theory about spurring things along.

Last time, nothing really got going for weeks. I was mainly lying around feeling sorry for myself. One day, Tim’s back was acting up. So I went to the store myself and grabbed some items. As I started grabbing soda and jugs of water, I noticed twinges. Real ones, not the weak ones I’d been having for a few weeks. They died down later that night. So the next day, I went out and did something else. Can’t remember what, but I’m pretty sure it involved lifting more stuff. Sure enough, within 48 hours my miscarriage started in full force.

This time, I haven’t had so much as a twinge. So yesterday I went and lugged the five-gallon jug of water (around 42 lbs in total) to the car and then into the house. Sure enough, later that day I felt some twinges and even saw a tiny bit of pink. They died down, but it gives me hope. And we’re running low on soda, so I foresee hefting a bunch of two-liters in my near future.

I wish this were a more exact science, since I’d like to try to time this over a weekend. June is a short month, and I already took last Thursday off when we got the news. I guess if I miss too many days, I’ll just check with my boss to see whether there’s any overtime I can do.

In other news, home repairs don’t stop for pesky health conditions. The toilet in the main bathroom is acting up. The guts in the tank are problematic, and it’s filling past the water line. When we turn off the water, it makes a fun squeal until we open the tank and pull up on one part. Which does eventually sink back down, so the squeal commences again.

Normally, I’d just replace the problematic piece in the tank. And I highly recommend that’s what most other people do in these situations. Even if you replace all the tank innards, you’re probably looking at $40 max.

But this toilet is old and kind of scarred. And I’m kinda, sorta, definitely-going-to-be in the middle of a miscarriage, which means I have no patience for anything. So we’re probably just going to get a new toilet. We talked to a Home Depot employee, and apparently Consumer Reports actually approves of the store brand (Glacier Bay) toilet that’s only $98. I expected to pay twice that, plus installation.

Speaking of, actually installing a toilet is also something you should consider doing yourself — health permitting, obviously. It’s really just about centering the hole at the bottom of the toilet on the hole in the floor. Then connect the lines and voila! You’ve saved around $100.

But it still sounds like too much work in my present, harried condition. Plus there’s the issue of carrying a toilet in a car with leather seats. I’m sure it’d be fine with some garbage bags but… So I think we’re going to suck it up and just pay installers, which means we can get them to haul it away for a small extra fee.

The good news about all this is that the new toilet weighs 84.5 lbs. Assuming it’s in two boxes, which Tim assures me is how toilets come, it means I have another set of heavy weights to lift.



  1. debtdebs says

    You tell a good story, even while having to lug around bottles of stuff and deal with all this stuff! Thinking of you. Take care of yourself. {hugs}

  2. AuntLeesie says

    I think, Abby, all of your readers just feel at a loss as to how any of us could *actually* help you and Tim right now. It's all virtual. The internet. It's not like we're there in Phoenix. We can't offer to pick up a new toilet or install it for you. We can't offer to simply save you the cost of a new one by fixing your old one. We can't make this miscarriage any easier to bear… BUT we truly wish we could. I'm pretty sure all of your readers wish there was some way we could offer something other than prayers and positive thoughts. Whether that was taking your laundry to do, or washing dishes, or bringing meals, or helping with any household tasks. I hope, at least, you can use your gift card to pay for the toilet?

  3. saro says

    I'm a complete stranger but just wanted to tell you that I am very, very sorry. I've had three miscarriages myself. With the last one, the Dr wanted to give me the shot and I didn't want it. I don't really know if it helped or not but I boiled a bunch of parsley in water for 5 minutes and then let it simmer for 1/2 hour. Then I drank three cups of the parsley water a day for three days. I started bleeding by the 2nd day. I got it off the internet so who knows if it worked or not – but I just wanted to throw it out there. Email me if you'd like to chat with a stranger who has been there.

  4. Laura P says

    I'm sorry about our loss. Give it time…….

    And as far the toilet goes. They are super easy to install. I think Tim could do this. It's just taking the old one out that's messy………

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