We’re having people over! We’re not ready!
It seemed simple enough
I want to have a birthday party for Tim on the 16th. (His birthday is the 19th.) But he’s a little worried about people in his space. So I suggested we have a game night two weeks beforehand to test the waters. Unfortunately, I realized last Sunday that two weeks was that coming weekend.
So we’ve spent the last week slowly cleaning the place up. But we still have so much more to do. (Fun fact: The cleaning frenzy that takes place before company comes is called scurryfunge.) So I’m a little panicked.
Still, I’m determined that our place will be clean and organized — by our standards, anyway. Classic definitions of clean, organized and nice-looking have continued to elude us. Not just because the bottom of our bathroom door has three several-inches-long chips but because of fun things like… Well, read on to find out.
Matching doorknobs are for suckers
I was so, so close to my sad little dream of hallway doorknobs that matched.
I found four surprisingly nice-looking, locking doorknobs for $9 each. But installation started going awry almost immediately.
It turns out that the bolt was messed up. The slots wouldn’t line up, meaning the locking mechanism wouldn’t fit through the holes. But it took me almost 15 minutes to realize the issue was with the bolt, not my brain and/or hands. And another 10 of fiddling with the bolt before accepting that I couldn’t get the slots to align.
Eventually, I gave up and grabbed a bolt from another box. Then it was the simple (but frustrating) task of unscrewing the doorknob’s flat-head screws. I don’t know if you’ve ever had to unscrew doorknobs, but it’s hard enough without the screwdriver slipping out of the slot ever three seconds.
Then I discovered that the strike plate screws’ holes were practically non-existent. This meant that I had to push hard to get the screws all the way into the wood.
Even so, I managed to get the new knob installed pretty quickly. So I was feeling practically optimistic when I started on the office door.
After fighting with yet more flat-head screws, I went to insert the new bolt… And discovered it wouldn’t fit in the hole.
I had no interest in going to the trouble of boring a bigger hole in the door (even if I’d had the right tool, which I don’t). I decided that I’d just wait until we replace the door in a year or two.
And if the office door wasn’t going to match, there was no point in changing out the bathroom or bedroom doorknobs. Arguably, those matching would just make the mismatching knob stand out more.
Besides, this had started because I wanted the guest room to have a lock on it. The other doorknobs matching was just a silly little fantasy of uniformity I had where things in our house might look nice and uniform. I should’ve known better. Heck, even the rooms’ doors don’t match: The guest room door has panels, while the other three are smooth. No idea why.
So I decided to box up the second doorknob and take the remaining three back to Home Depot for a refund. More money back into the redecorating fund, I suppose.
Which is good because we may need to re-buy the shower curtain…
Shower curtains are for suckers
Continuing with our “Well, damn” theme, we may not have a shower curtain when our guests get here.
The black shower curtain I got with a Black Friday deal — one that was supposed to arrive on November 30th — is now due December 5th. Despite shipping from Mesa (25 miles away), the package was routed through California. So the delivery date changed: from the 30th to the 29th to December 2nd to December 5th. It’s a dizzying whirlwind.
My only recourse would be to go to our local Target, buy the shower curtain, then use that receipt to return the one that comes in the mail (so that I keep the lower online price). Or we just have no shower curtain, which functionally doesn’t matter (we don’t use that shower) but looks tacky as hell.
Also, it means I’d have to clean the tub. So maybe I’ll just go buy the curtain.
I have some art that needs to go up in the bathroom, preferably before company arrives. It’ll just about complete the theme.
I’m going to use Command strips (50% off with a Michael’s coupon) in case I don’t like the initial placement. But I still need to figure out spacing and actually hang the things. And hopefully not want to move them because that’d mean another trip to Michael’s for some refill strips.
I’ve already done most of the dusting, but I’ll have to touch it up on Sunday because it’s the desert. I’ve also already wiped down and decluttered the kitchen counters/breakfast bar. But the end table still needs tackling, and I need to clean up the mail that’s lying around.
I’m also going to be running the Roomba multiple times today and in the morning on Sunday. Then I’ll throw a Swiffer dry cloth on the WetJet to get whatever the vacuum missed.
I may mop about an hour before company comes over, but we’ll have to see how the day goes.
Oh, and I get to do all of this while achy because I toted about a total of 240 lbs of Ikea product yesterday. But that’s a rant for another post. Because, seriously, it’s a rant.
What stuff do you tackle when you scurryfunge?