I’m sorry, I know the blog has been quiet lately. I’ve been feeling uninspired in general inre: both writing and money.
I’m stressed out about money, so everything I write seems to be whining about that fact. And we’re not on some amazing new-ways-to-save-money escapade at the moment. So it’s tough to write about money.
Meanwhile, there’s some health stuff going on that I don’t want to get into right now (no, not pregnant) that is worrying me too.
Not to mention nitty-gritty stuff.
I forgot to fill my Lamictil until the last minute (read: after I was out), and then discovered that Walgreens has it on backorder. I then called a CVS, spent a ridiculous 10 minutes on hold only to be told that, no, the store didn’t have it either. Luckily, the next CVS did, but I still had to wait until the next day to pick up my pills.
This meant I spent most of yesterday feeling like my brain was swaddled in thick layers of cotton. I had trouble thinking, so work was almost twice as hard because I had to think through every word very carefully to make sure it made sense. Being without my Lamictil also makes me feel slightly off-kilter in a very physical, am-I-about-to-fall-oh-no-wait-I’m-sitting-down way. It feels sort of like I have my head cocked at a 45 degree angle. It’s kind of dizzying, though not debilitating.
Meanwhile, we’ve been struggling to get Tim a referral to a new specialist.
The doctor’s office tried faxing the referral three times, and each time insurance would insist that it hadn’t received the request. After the second effort I even verified the fax number just to make sure it was going to the right place.
After the third failed attempt, I asked the insurance employee how else we could get the referral to them. Because clearly faxing wasn’t working. So god love her, she called the doctor’s office and gave them her department’s fax number, promising to walk it over to the authorizations department herself. Which apparently worked as of Thursday.
This all would’ve been stressful enough, but I’d made an appointment for Tim as soon as the referral was sent the first time. Specialists can be hard to get in to see, so I figured we’d get the ball rolling immediately — assuming that two weeks was more than enough. Instead, we came in just under the wire with the approval coming through two business days before the actual appointment.
So that was enervating as hell.
And while the SAD light is definitely helping, I’m still struggling a bit with depression. Don’t get me wrong — I’m better than I was when I decided enough was enough. But some things are still harder than they should be, and definitely harder than they were on the Rexulti. (I miss it, but not enough to warrant its exorbitant price.)
But what’s more telling is that I’m sleeping too much.
Remember how I couldn’t sleep past 5:30 a.m. for months? Now I easily sleep until 7 or even 7:30 — even if I go to bed at 9 p.m. That much sleep isn’t good for my system. It makes me more lethargic, which I don’t need help with.
The problem is that I can’t set an alarm because then I’d be waking Tim up at 5:30 a.m. and he already struggles enough with sleep as it is. And if I try to go to bed later than 9, I get a second wind and then have trouble falling asleep before 11, which I need to do if I want to get enough sleep.
It’s a mess, and I’m not sure what to do about it except get back into my exercise routine. I was exercising regularly, but thenmy left hip and outer leg started twinging the day after my workout.
Not only would this force me to take a day off, it was bad enough that I thought it might be the beginnings of sciatica. Then I realized how old my workout shoes. Given a choice between the problem being “I’m old” and “My shoes are old” I’m going to start with the latter. Because that can be remedied.
So I’ll go off to Big 5 once the med levels in my system have evened out a bit. It usually takes two or three days after I miss a dose, so I probably won’t get to be very productive until at least Thursday. Whee.
So yeah… That’s about it. I’m sorry that this can’t be some thoughtful, insightful and/or helpful post. Or really just anything that wasn’t a basic update. I’m just sort of stuck at the moment, lacking the inspiration for posts and/or the interest in writing the ones I do think of. I got a couple of suggestions off Twitter and I’m trying to let those percolate. But feel free to chime in if there’s something you’ve always hoped I’d post about.