Friday night my uterus finally stepped up its game, and we were able to skip having the procedure at Planned Parenthood.
We went to Urgent Care, where things got, er, messy before they got to me. Which means I was then hurried back and taken seriously. Which is good because we were mainly there for painkillers and, without that little debacle, I was worried they’d write me off as a habitual drugseeker or something.
Instead, the doctor didn’t bat an eye. In fact, he offered a painkiller shot to get me home. I declined, though, because it was dilaudid. It’s essentially synthetic heroin, and it was my constant companion while I had Gullain-Barre. I went through withdrawal from the stuff towards the end of my stay. Then from the methadone they gave me to get off the dilaudid.
So I said no thanks… until 10 minutes later when I was doubled over with a cramp. Then it seemed like a much better option. After all, it’d been over 15 years. I was sure my body could handle it.
Not so much. I spent around 45 minutes on our deliciously cool bathroom tile floor, willing the world to stop spinning and trying to convince my body that it didn’t actually need to throw up. I lost that argument, by the way. And the episode still didn’t cure the nausea or dizziness, which persisted for the next three hours.
Nor did the drug actually touch the pain. And I didn’t want to take the percocet until the shot had worn off. By the time that happened, the bleeding levels had me on track to the ER, where I figured they wouldn’t appreciate my dosing right before my visit.
Turns out they would have been fine with it. It was just that kind of night. Speaking of which, the cramps mostly subsided about 30 minutes into the ER visit, as though my uterus were a car making a funny noise and the ER was the mechanic.
In reality, my body had probably just expelled the vast majority of what it needed to expel, so the violent cramps weren’t as necessary. That’s all well and good, but I would have loved for it to happen while I was on painkillers that worked.
Anyway, even with the two visits and medication, we spent just over $130. The procedure would have been $440 at Planned Parenthood or $978 at the hospital.
The lessons here are:
- It’s a good thing I stocked up on comfort food early.
- Lower level cramps means I’ll probably enjoy the percocet way more.
- My uterus is (eventually) very frugal.
Revanche says
*hugs* I got all the empathetic meds-reactions to this. π
Rosa says
I'm so glad this is almost over for you.
Sonya Ann says
I'm so sorry that all of you have to keep going through this.
imawindycitygal says
I'm not sure if this is happy news or not. Either way, it's a step in the right direction. Sorry you had to endure such a protracted and painful closure. π
pen says
/hugs best wishes for your recovery
Guest says
Ditto all of the above! Rest and take care of yourself. π
Ro in San Diego says
Best wishes for a speedy recovery. It's good that this is over with, frugally or not.
Melissa F says
Hope you are feeling better soon!
TLC says
Positive vibes headed your way.
Sandra J says
Best wishes to you both. So sorry you are going through this.
jestjack says
Damn….Hope everything works out and you get well soon…Not a good way to start the year….Best Wishes…
Rachel Brown says
God bless you and Tim.
Crystal @ PET says
I appreciate your positive outlook despite all of the crap. You have all of my sympathy. Yay for a frugal uterus as well. π
Funny about Money says
What an ordeal. I'm so sorry you've had to go through all this. Entre nous, a certain recently legalized herb is the most effective remedy for that particular kind of pain. π But I sincerely hope you're never in a position to need it again.
Anne says
Besides the obvious best wishes to both of you, I am seriously snorting over your "frugal uterus."
Really a good one.
emilyguybirken says
I'm thinking "frugal uterus" would make for an awesome all-women metal band name.
Sending healing thoughts your way.
Abigail says
That WOULD be a great band name!