Club Thrifty’s Who Sabotages Your Christmas Budget? made me realize just how much money we save by being moderately anti-social.
Holly and her readers listed various ways they’ve gotten stuck feeling like they had to give a gift: friends, extended family, neighbors, coworkers, Secret Santas, holiday parties, etc. Yowza.
Our relatively secluded life means that we don’t deal with any of that. Working from home, I don’t have to deal with coworkers or Secret Santas. Tim, of course, is in the same boat since he’s on disability.
This means we also don’t have to attend company holiday parties, which often comes with the obligation to bring something (as I understand it). And no one we know throws holiday parties.
In fact, we don’t have a lot of friends. That sounds a lot sad, but really it’ss just that we don’t go out much. Especially now that we don’t play Magic. And all of our Magic friends spend most evenings playing. We do meet a couple for a weekly trivia night, but that’s about the most personal interaction we get. I swear, it’s really not as sad as it sounds.
None of the above throw holiday parties.
Our neighborhood isn’t very, well, neighborly. I’ve talked to two neighbors in our three years here. One came by trick or treating with her toddler. The other is a contractor, and we wanted his feedback. And the first neighbor moved away.
And even if you did give gifts to neighbors, I’d think holiday cookies are really the most you need to do. Those don’t really cost all that much, other than time.
As for relatives, Tim and I aren’t really in touch with extended family. We buy for ourselves, Marc, Nadine and my mom. We try to set a reasonable limit each year for ourselves, and we do a $25 Christmas with the in-laws. As I’ve mentioned in the past, we spend a little more on my mom because she loves dem fresh pears.
And if I do buy anything for my aunt and uncle (they keep sending me birthday checks), then I’ll use our overwhelming Home Depot gift card balance to get a $25 GC. They love getting a head start in the gardening center.
We also don’t buy for friends. In the past, everyone we knew was broke or at least didn’t have a lot of wiggle room. It never made sense to put either our or their budgets in jeopardy.
So our relatively secluded life ends up keeping Christmas frugal. In fact, it helps all year round since we’re not constantly going to bars for karaoke etc.
Of course, I’m not saying that you have to be anti-social to be frugal. But it sure helps.
Cathy R says
I hear you, I really do.
My nephews get gift cards for every occasion. I've tried multiple times to send thoughtful, personally chosen gifts, but they aren't well received. So, I just gave up a couple of years ago.
I do splurge on fun things for Toys for Tots, though. Just once a year and I save up for it. I just can't resist toy shopping, and this is how I get my fix…
Abigail says
Yeah, if I have my act together this year I'd like to at least get a couple of low-priced items to donate.
Catseye says
Yes, not having a lot of friends or extended family does help you save money. Of course, I'm not spending much money these days anyway. I bought modest Christmas gifts last year but that's not happening this year. I'm in survival mode these days.
Kat says
For years, I had a very frugal Christmas routine. Two parents, one uncle, and everyone else got homemade goodies (butter, sugar, and vanilla aren’t really all that expensive- especially when bought in bulk). The most expensive times were when I went a little overboard on the preserves for the year, and gave jars of them in the baskets (I wrote off the cost of the jars- I didn’t want to rely on trying to get them back).
Then I met my beloved fiancé. I went from three relatives and 10 people getting cookies to… Oy. Siblings, aunts and uncles, living grandparents, cousins… all of whom exchange gifts. Strict budgeting has helped- adults are usually happy with small gifts surrounded by edible bribes. The only two ‘oops’ moments were the hostess gifts I brought that instantly became traditions. Christmas crackers and a peppermint pig. So those went in the budget, and they’re the hostess gifts I’m sticking with.
Abigail says
"Edible bribes" — I love it! Yeah, I was very lucky to get someone that didn't widely expand my giving circle. I know that Christmas crackers are not cheap. Not terribly expensive, but not something I've ever seen on sale. So it's a good thing you budget for them.
Abigail says
Ugh, sorry to hear that. But hey most people really just care that you're thinking about them. And here's hoping they think about you with some helpful gift cards and not just something that will be regifted.
Revanche says
AND you don’t have to consider whether or not this week’s outing is going to put you over budget. Oh wait, you already said that.
But I think company holiday parties are doing it wrong when the employees have to bring stuff. You should be getting gifts, not giving them!
We don’t buy for friends anymore, and my family doesn’t really do gift giving for Christmas – we barely did Christmas
at all so that makes a big difference. I wish we had more reasonable gift giving policies with the in-laws but that’ll probably take a little time.
Abigail says
Yeah, well maybe you can blame LB for a tightened budget this/next year to negotiate a low budget Christmas.
Kay says
My siblings and parents actually stopped giving giving gifts this year as the distance made it hard. Who wants to pay $10+ to mail something? I still will buy something for my nieces or maybe just give them money for their savings accounts. They are too young to know the difference anyway! lol
Abigail says
Yeah, the mailing thing kills it. I used a Groupon a year or two ago to get my mom a bunch of The Body Shop stuff. I got $20 for $10 and hit a Buy 3, Get 2 Free sale. So mailing the items to my mom cost almost as much as the Groupon itself. Still a great deal for the items I got her but…
knoxvlogs says
Funny that I'm reading this post thinking, "Ah… The good life!" I got to the, "That sounds a lot sad," part and had myself a good laugh when I realized, oh yeah, "normal" people LIKE having a ton of friends and going to holiday parties. Oops! 🙂
Abigail says
I do miss having friends we're closer with. We had some up in Washington that would come over every other week for a games night. But yeah we're pretty solitary/insular by nature. So I'm not overly worried about it.
Impossible Girl says
For my co-workers I just bring in a giant basket of baked goodies every year for sharing…. seeing as I work at a gym, it's always fun watching my fellow PTs try to resist all the home made cookies. Yes, I am a little evil, why do you ask? 🙂
For extended families, we just buy holiday cards after Xmas for the next year, at a deep discount and send those out. Immediate families get one or two special gifts and this year, a free 3-night stay at Casa de Impossible Girl. It also helps having friends who don't make as much as we do, many times our gatherings are house parties or sporting events bought with deals (helps to have people that work for the venues). We recently bought a house so a lot of our friends are happy to come over and just chill with us.
Abigail says
Oh, I love picturing physical therapists struggling around tantalizing desserts! And yeah, I think Christmas cards are always nice. My aunt and uncle take pictures of their garden (they're fanatic gardeners) and make them into Christmas cards at Sam's Club. My cousin sent a pic of her and the boys this year. I suspect she used an online site (which is good because… cash back).
As for just hanging out with friends, that'd be lovely too. We might even clean on a quasi-regular basis. But most of the people we know play Magic most nights of the week. So for now that's not really an option either.
I do have one friend that I don't see nearly often enough. I should try to schedule more time with her. But the effort and… sigh.
Prairie Eco Thrifter says
It doesn't sound like you are anti-social, just selectively social! I love being around people and love being with friends but I also really enjoy my alone time. Even just spending time with my husband is nice – it's far less expensive, too.
Mrs. Frugalwoods says
I can relate to this! We're not totally anti-social, but, we're very happy as homebodies. We like people but don't seek out huge parties/groups of folks–too stressful and comes with too many expectations! I'd rather have a few close, deep friendships.
Pauline says
We don't do gifts for adults in my family, so I just give something to my mother and sister and that's it. I hated secret Santa at work, since you always get some kind of crap you don't need. I'd rather give something useful some other time of the year with no obligation.