We reviewed your comments about the bed-switching debacle — which were incredibly helpful, by the way — and came up with a solution. Nadine is going to try a mattress topper to see if that will be enough. If not, we’ll switch beds for a little bit while they save for a new one. Then we’ll get ours back.
A couple of you suggested this, and it really seemed like a great way to meet in the middle, so thanks to everyone who commented. And I really did appreciate all the angles you guys came from.
Otherwise, there’s not a lot to report. This week we’re finally going to see the reproductive specialist. No, really this time.
The first time we cancelled due to scheduling issues. This past Thursday I found out they still hadn’t gotten the referral. I called my doctor’s office. They said they faxed it and would go ahead and fax it again. Friday morning, still nothing. So we cancelled and rescheduled for this Friday. So guess who’s calling everyone on Monday to confirm it’s taken care of? Ugh.
I also have to see my meds doctor so he can verify that all is well with my prescription levels. On Thursday Tim sees his pulmonologist to verify that he’s doing okay. Then the specialist on Friday. So it will be known as The Week of Copays. To the tune of $120, actually. Whee?
I also just finished the Great Monthly Funds Shuffling. Which is a way to sound cooler when, in fact, I just scheduled everything: credit card payment, mortgage payment and shunting various funds in the appropriate accounts.
The bad news is that this past month’s credit card bill was an insane $1,475. The last three months or so have just seen epic bills. In this one, more than half came from Sandy-related expenses: boarding, testing and ultimately putting her to sleep. Clearly, that’s not going to repeat itself. Patches is, for the moment at least, healthy. Chubby, but healthy.
The good news is that we’re still going to be able to put $1,200 into the savings account this month. Which means we’ll be back up over $8,100. Still not where we need it to be, but a far sight better than it’s been.
All I can say is that the extra hours my boss gave were life savers. Well, finance savers. Another round this month, and we should be sitting pretty. Especially since this month’s statement should be a far more sane number. She said, dooming herself.
Anyway, that’s all the news that’s fit to print. Er, post.
Is everyone gearing up for the holidays? I still haven’t found much of interest in the Black Friday leaked ads. And I need to think of things that Tim and Nadine can buy me in-store. Neither of them likes to shop online much.
Holly@ClubThrifty says
$1,200 is something to be proud of, especially with all of your unplanned expenses! Sounds like a good compromise on the bed too. I have a guest bedroom and I wouldn't give up my mattress in there (or trade it) unless there was a really good reason.
I'm ready to get the holidays over with!
Abigail says
Glad to know I'm not the only one who holds onto guest beds! And yeah I'm pretty psyched about the amount we are dumping into savings.
Holly@ClubThrifty says
My in-laws come fairly often and I would feel crappy letting them sleep on something I knew wasn't comfortable.
ArianaAuburn says
You are the luckiest person in the world to have a boss who was willing to give you the extra hours you needed. This is why workers all over the country need bosses as cool as yours. Becsuse life loves to throw all sorts of unwanted surprises that can break a budget.
Abigail says
Yeah, there's a reason I refer to him as The World's Best Boss. Or is it The Best Boss Ever? Either one applies. I'm hoping that the extra hours from this month will really help us pad savings, especially if we're paying $900 less on the credit card. Sheesh!
Punkin Pye says
Hi Abby. First of all, congratulations on the $1200 for savings. I want you to pat yourself on the back for handling your finances so skillfully. As I said in my last post, financial skills can be be better than money in the bank.
I did not get a chance to comment on your last post about the mattress situation, so I would like to add something now. There were very good comments from all your readers and great arguments on both sides of the question. Here is something I think you should consider. I wonder if your real objection to trading out the mattress isn't really about the mattress at all. Is it possible that you are feeling resentful and overwhelmed about the amount of help you are giving Tim's parents? Is this causing you stress on top of all the financial juggling, health problems, and difficult situations (Sandy) you are constantly having to deal with? In other words: Do you feel like you are giving too much?
It might be time to sit down and reassess what you are currently doing for them and ask yourself if it is making you feel resentful. Ask yourself if what you are doing for them is reasonable or if you need to push back. Before some kind of new need or an outright emergency arises for your in-laws, you might want to sit down calmly with Tim and reset the boundaries of what you are and are not willing to do for them. I think you may also need a commitment from Tim that he will support these boundaries should a future need or financial crisis arise for his parents.
Abigail says
Thanks for the kudos. I did a little jig of joy in my seat as I set up the transfer.
The mattress was a big part of it. But I did reference how much we've done for them in the past in that post, so there's definitely some resentment when they ask for more. Especially if I'm already stressed. To their credit, they have scaled waaaay back on asking for things.
We are slowly setting boundaries. For example, we're trying to figure out what we'll say if/when his parents want us to watch their two dogs while they're gone. They've cat-sat for us in the past. But two yappy needy dogs is a different situation, especially when they're used to attention all day. I think we're leaning towards doing it if they ask. But I kind of pray they decide to board the suckers.
And we decided after the last debacle never to front them a plane ticket again. (Not that that's an issue now that they have a second check, I suppose.) It literally took them four months to pay us back because things were so tight. When she'd promised to pay it back in 1-2 months. But it's not like I could have demanded that they forgo food and meds to pay us back. So… yeah. We agreed never again.
Hell, we didn't even front Marc like $20 when he wanted to get Dish installed a few days early. He kept saying they'd pay us back at the beginning of the month, which was only a 5 or so days away. But we had just had it on that front. Now the only time we front them money is if she's out of funds to pay the $10 for her meds.
lake livin' says
If they need to borrow $10 for meds, the Dish needs to go. But, I'm assuming this happened before they started receiving their second SS check. I agree with your Mom's comment on your last post – they're already used to living on one check, so most of thenew check should go to savings/debt payoff (with just a small portion going to extra living expenses) .
Abigail says
Yeah, that happened before the second check and before the DISH got put in.
Kat says
It sounds like a good compromise has been reached. My only concern would be how you make sure they're saving up for a new mattress, and how long they would reasonably take to do so.
Your boss sounds like an amazing person, and you're really doing great at your finances if you managed to sock away 1200 while facing that vet bill. Since we have multiple animals, it makes sense for us to both carry health insurance on all of them and have a savings account for their medical expenses. It's saved us from scrambling in the past.
As for Black Friday… I've said it multiple times, and I will reiterate. You could not pay me to go into a shopping center or any other sort of retail establishment. Beyond that, I do feel sorry for people in the retail industry. Keeping your job shouldn't rely on having to skip Thanksgiving. I know that the resistance is mounting, but I still admire the states who have laws against retailers opening on Thanksgiving. As it stands, I'm even having the Thanksgiving turkey delivered (to be fair there's no other way to get a heritage bird).
I hope the medical appointments fall in the way you want them to. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed.
Abigail says
That's a good point. We'd have to make sure we set a timeline for the mattress, lest it fall by the wayside. Hopefully, it won't come to that.
As for Black Friday, I was referring to online shopping as well. But mainly now I just need to brainstorm physical items I want/need. Maybe I'll go browse wallets and slippers. And maybe keep looking for a black purse. The last time I did that, I ended up with a very pretty blue one. Which is awesome, but black is better suited to day-to-day stuff, especially when I'm in scrubby attire.
lake livin' says
Give them a firm deadline – you're taking the mattress back on X date whether they have the new mattress or not.
thebrokeandbeautifullife says
The good thing is that you're prepared and can afford all those unexpected and irregular expenses. Those kind of pet bills would wipe out the majority of my emergency fund :/ 2015 is going to be all about getting that efund fully funded.
Abigail says
Yeah, the EF can be a pain to build, especially if you're an actor and have irregular income. The fact that you have one at all is pretty impressive!
carrie says
I forgot one thing about mattress toppers! The first one we bought was only 58" wide for a queen bed. Well, queen mattresses are 60" wide! Make sure they check the measurement and that the topper they choose is wide enough. Losing two inches because of a topper makes a WORLD of difference!!
Abigail says
Yeah I need to go over and make sure they know about the inches difference and the recommended height.
RoInSD says
I just recently replaced an over 20 year old mattress. Memory foam and eggshell mattress toppers kept us in that bed far longer than we should have kept it. I highly recommend them to keep an old bed just a little longer
Abigail says
Yes, luckily that's their current outlook. Let's hope it works out!
lake livin' says
"She said, dooming classic." Ha, classic!
lake livin' says
Okay, I should stop using my Kindle to post comments. The above was supposed to say "dooming HERSELF." I love that line.
TLC says
Reading the last post/comments (including your Mom's) + this post/comments, I can see why you might be hesitant. From bits & pieces I've picked up (correct me if I'm wrong, I mean no disrespect), it seems like his parents rely on you quite heavily. To the point where they almost expect it? I imagine it's a very difficult decision to decide where to draw the line between being kind/generous or risk being taken advantage of.. cuz lotsa little requests do add up.
http://makingcentsofitall.net/
Punkin Pye says
Abby, I just reread your last post. Your mother commented that your in-laws were saving for a trip to see their other son. I did not realize that Tim had a sibling. Is there any chance that he could offer some financial support for you in-laws?
Budget & the Beach says
It seems that money always has a way of finding its way to you when you really need it! I always wondered about the expression, "you may not always get what you want, but you'll get what you need." hmm