I’m not feeling so swell lately. Not an illness, just malaise.
It may not be helping that my close friend from trivia — with whom I message almost daily — hasn’t responded to any of my personal messages, though she’s responding occasionally in the group chat.
This comes shortly after Tim unburdened himself (in her and my usually one-on-one chat) about an issue he had with me. To be clear, she already knew the issue, but only from my side. He apparently felt the need to chime in about his side of things since he knows her too.
I told him to never do that again and that it was an invasion. He may sometimes be able to see small snippets of our conversation if he gets a badge notification on the phone (if I’m using the iPad) and checks it out. But no matter what, it does not give him permission to include himself in our personal chat. He got the message loud and clear, mainly because I was pretty pissed.
But the admonishment only works moving forward. The deed was already done in this case. And I haven’t heard back from her since — which I’ve made Tim painfully aware of — despite my messaging her about a couple of other subjects.
I’m trying to tell myself that she just had an attack of introversion (it’s happened before) and needs some quiet time. But the fact that she’s commented a couple of times in our main group chat… Well, it makes me sad/anxious. I’m doing my best not to take it personally, but it ain’t easy.
We have a trivia meetup tonight, and I’m hoping she’ll tell me that she just needed to hole up for a bit. But I may not get the chance. She dropped out of the last meetup just a couple of hours beforehand. The last time she did that, she missed two weeks in a row. So there’s a chance she’ll drop again today. Which would mean more time in friendship limbo. Whee.
All of this came the weekend that I had to work overtime. And hey, maybe that was for the best because it gave me more things to focus on. But on the other hand: no days off makes for a grumpy gal.
Anyway, my point is that I’m not feeling terribly peppy and can’t think of much personal finance-y stuff to post about. So here are a few other blogs’ posts for you:
Go read this fabulous post from Bitches Get Riches about how mental illness affects your finances. I was going to use it as a jumping off point for my own post, but honestly I think they’ve said all there is to say.
Mom’s back in South Jersey.
A little late to this post from Revanche, but it’s an excellent breakdown of how they’re trying out/evaluating their different rewards cards.
A belated happy 4th blogoversary to Super Savings Tips!
teinegurl says
Awww not sure but I will say its very awkward to be between a friend and her husband, spouse or partner basically there is no winning. Maybe shell come back around and you can tell her it wont happen again and if she doesn’t come around theres nothing more you can do. Just sucks that’s all. Hopefully you wont let this stop you and keep putting yourself out there for trivia nights. U might click with some other chicks as well.
Abigail says
Unfortunately, we’re not taking on any new members, so I won’t be making any new female friends there. When I see her, I’ll be assuring her that Tim won’t be doing that EVER again in case that made her uncomfortable enough to break contact.
Worst case scenario, I try another Meetup group I’ve seen (Extroverted Introverts). But I’m really close with this gal, so I’m hoping that this didn’t kill it.
Piggy says
I’m so sorry you’ve got the friend drama, mama. That sucks… literally. It can really drain your energy away and leave you feeling horrible. I hope you feel better soon!
Piggy recently posted…How Mental Health Affects Your Finances
Linda says
I’m sorry. I’d be every bit as angry as you are. I hope you and your friend can work things out. Friends are so difficult for this introvert to find.
Donna Freedman says
Sorry to hear this. It can be so hard to make friends. I hope that she can come to terms with whatever is making her feel bad/uncomfortable/embarrassed.
Oh, and thanks for the shout-out.
Donna Freedman recently posted…Welcome, NerdWallet readers! (Here’s a coupon.)
Practical Parsimony says
It’s too late for this time, but next time cut him off soon when he interferes.
Practical Parsimony recently posted…She is at it again and we are all happy
Revanche @ A Gai Shan Life says
Thanks for the link! I hope your friend comes around – this is usually why I don’t think it’s a good idea to be confided in about relationship problems if I know both people because it’s HARD feeling like you’re stuck in the middle. I’ve been stuck in the middle before and it’s dang awkward figuring out how to navigate that gracefully. I’ve failed, messily, more than once.
Revanche @ A Gai Shan Life recently posted…My kid and notes from Year 3.2
Practical Parsimony says
This may not be anything about you. It may be that this incident reminds her of something similar in the past that did not turn out well or where she got too involved. She may be protecting herself, not rejecting you or your friendship. Still, I know it hurts. I have had friends back off for whatever reason. I have sometimes found out it was their life in the way of our friendship, not something that had its genesis in my actions.
Practical Parsimony recently posted…Groceries May 13-19
ZJ Thorne says
That stinks so much. I’m sorry. Fearing the loss of a friend as an adult is unpleasant. It’s so much work to find people you trust.
Abigail says
Happily, everything turned out alright in the end. It turned out that she was just freaked out that she’d maybe overstepped and so was giving the situation space. We’re doing well and chatting again regularly, thank goodness. Like you said, it’s hard to find people to connect with — let alone trust — as an adult.