This isn’t quite a Throwback Thursday, since this has never been published. But this is a throwback in that it was written back in July 2017. I never quite finished it (until now) so it never got posted. Without further ado, here’s the third and final piece in the series that included The dangers of inspiration porn and Inspiration porn & the spiral of self-doubt.
Thank you all for your thoughtful responses to The dangers of inspiration porn.
All of this — this whole rant — started because of a single image. Yes, one picture.
No, no and, let me just say, hell no
Put down the halo
It’s understandable
And I get it, I do: A blogger is a public(ish) person, which comes with certain baggage.
The most obvious one is potential backlash. Even if you avoid trolls, your audience was raised on a diet of inspiration porn. Readers may not be able to handle the fact that you have non-Polyanna moments.
There’s also a sense of responsibility to your readers. You want to encourage them, to keep them going. In short, to inspire them.
But those are exactly the times that we shouldn’t default to inspiration porn. Because what’s more inspirational than being honest?
My readers sometimes say they’re shocked by/glad about how honest I am with my struggles. (#humblebrag) They’re supportive — and they’re relieved to know they’re not alone. One of the most honest posts I’ve written — which is about an ugly, broken version of myself after a day without my meds — still gets relieved comments seven years later.
Seeing is believing
For your readers
Protect yourself and your readers
The hard part is honesty
So really, what’s the point in spouting only sunshine and rainbows, especially when it means your readers may suffer? Why bother describing your life at all, if you’re going to edit out so much?
I know the answer: Some bloggers want to be inspirational. And maybe they really think smiley faces and happy thoughts are the only way to do that. But they’re wrong.
Yes, maybe some people find inspiration solely in someone’s ability to be blithely cheerful or deep. I generally suspect the person is deluding themselves, misleading their audience or has a serious Ecstasy habit.
Because being inspiring requires you to appear to overcome adversity. And finding a way to be happy (or at least at peace) all the time isn’t overcoming adversity. It’s avoiding it. It’s glossing over the bad to focus on the good. It’s refusing to acknowledge the negative. It’s the easy way way to deal with the hard stuff — because you’re not really dealing with it.
What’s hard is feeling all all those dark, icky emotions, accepting them and coming out at least vaguely sane. (And yes, at least occasionally cheerful)
If you never get knocked down, it’s not impressive that you’re standing upright now. What’s inspiring is the person, scraped and bruised from previous blows, getting back to their feet. What moves audiences is the punch-drunk fellow who, while he may sway in the slightest breeze, is getting back to vertical.
If you’re honest about that, if you tell the real story, no one — or at least no one worthwhile — will judge you for swearing like a sailor while you pick yourself up off the pavement.
Do you think it’s okay to be so cheerful and grateful all the time? Do you get sick of it, or do you find it inspirational?
Hi Abigail,
I’ve been reading a lot about the effects of social media lately. One of the things that struck me says that social media has been one of the causes of depression. Social media tends to create a perfect world, where every day is just like rainbows and butterflies (if you know what I mean). And people tend to compare which makes everything worse.
I like good vibes and happy thoughts, but we have to be real here, it’s not every day. We have bad days, sad days too! 😉
Thanks for sharing this good read.
Cheers,
Jessica
Glad you enjoyed it! I think the social media effect can definitely make people question themselves and their lives. It’s important to remember that people are only showcasing their best moments, (usually) not the tantrums the kids throw or the bad financial setbacks or whatever. The same is true (to a point) with bloggers. Some are only going to show you the happiest, most rainbow-filled moments, and you have to remember that it’s (almost certainly) not an accurate representation of every single moment of their lives.
While I hate this phenomenon (and it has been around for a long time), I think’s new popularity is simply a reflection of social media. I know I’m an exception to the rule of my age group; I know this because I get teased for lacking a presence on social media often enough. That being said, it seems like there’s a pressure to present this perfect image of yourself and some of these sites even provide help. Witness the plethora of Snapchat filters. These little tools that will airbrush your image and add cute little bonuses to the frame (although I fail to see why these people need something that adds digital glasses frames; was LensCrafters closed?). There’s also the obsession with posting their food (It’s food! Yes, chefs go through the effort to present it nicely but flash photography ruins the atmosphere for other diners and it’s meant to be eaten, not*$%#ing photographed for five minutes, thus going cold and not giving it a chance to taste as good as it can!).
I am not cheerful and happy all of the time. I was not cheerful and happy all of the time before my diagnosis and I will not be cheerful and happy if I am miraculously cured. That kind of magical thinking is not something I will ever ascribe to, be happy with, or even tolerate in people I’m close to. Why? It’s freaking dangerous. That kind of BS is how you get people who ascribe to the notion that you can overcome anything if you try hard enough, if you just put your mind to it. This isn’t true, we know it’s not true, and yet people like to put their fingers in their ears and do the “la la la not listening…” bit. We’re seeing huge cuts in access to healthcare right now. Programs that help low income families have been shuttered, HHS has directed money away from pregnant women in need. Yet, it’s fine because people can just try harder and get ahead. Magical thinking at work. Because they can smile and try harder and overcome. So, any time anyone ever comes to me with this “everything can be happy” line of bull? Will get their little balloon of happiness popped and a big reality check.
It also leads to another problem. The idea that anyone who doesn’t fit into the “I’m doing great!” category must have something different wrong with them psychologically or it’s all in their head. Recently, Netflix released a series called “Afflicted.” It followed multiple patients with chronic issues. These people were promised access to specialists and told that they could tell their stories to help the general public understand what people with chronic illnesses go through. Netflix turned around and made these people seem crazy. They ignored (and never mentioned) the medical evidence showing that, yes, these people had giant amounts of medical testing, diagnoses from multiple specialists showing that they had something physically wrong with them, that there were studies that linked these specific issues with something that the patients were exposed to. They also manufactured situations that these people normally never had to deal with or were inaccurate to their situations; the producers even encouraged contact with someone who had been emotionally abusive to a patient. So, inspiration porn’s dark side? Vilification of those who refuse to be this bright, shiny, happy thing that people can “ooh” and “ah” at.
Wow, I hadn’t heard about the Netflix special, either the show itself or the controversy surrounding it. Just what we need: More people thinking it’s all in our heads.
I don’t know even healthy people who can be happy all the time, at least not doing so in a mentally healthy manner. (And if it’s not in a mentally healthy way, I guess they’re not actually healthy so…)
Like you said, the idea that anything can be overcome/met with a smile is magical thinking. That’s a dangerous thing to buy into because it keeps you from having to acknowledge the real (often icky) reality of the situation. Magical thinking tells you that everything will be okay, and that you personally don’t have to get involved/put forth effort to get the desired effects. Which really just leaves you detached from reality and/or unwilling to effect necessary change either for others or yourself.
I doubt any would ever call my blog Polyana! LOL When I started blogging, I had 2 goals for my blog; to bring my weakness (finances) closer to my strength (writing) in the hopes it would help, and to make money.
Over time, my goals transformed to something more honest. Now they are to hold myself accountable, to document my financial journey and, maybe just maybe, help inspire others in similar situations.
While gratitude is one of the pillars of my personal finance philosophy, it’s not the only one. You can’t live on gratitude alone although I am convinced it helps me personally.
I appreciate this article a lot and helps to remind me to continue to pursue full transparency. And in that spirit, maybe I can (in some small way) help remove the taboo nature of personal finances from society.
The Lady recently posted…A No-Spend Weekend: Being Broke On Purpose
Honesty is key, I think. But I’m glad you document your journey because that includes wins and losses. It helps your audience feel closer to you, and it helps them set their own realistic goals. Or just to not beat themselves up so much.
Gratitude is an important aspect of life. It’s one that I need to work on more because I get begrudging as the hits come. But it can’t be the only thing, as you know. That way madness lies.