These spending diaries are a way for me to be more cognizant of my spending. They’re also a peek into my daily life for those who care.
For those who are new, my style of “spending” is a little convoluted. I have two checking accounts. I keep the majority of my money in the secondary account, transferring $280 a week into the main account. But I charge everything to the card to maximize rewards. As charges accrue, I transfer money out of the main account into the secondary one. Then I make a weekly payment on my credit card.
A tad confusing, perhaps, but it works for me. Anyway, here’s how spending went this week:
I’d stayed up too late the night before talking to the guy from the dating site, then had trouble falling asleep, so I woke up pretty tired.
I chatted with some of the dating site guys in the morning and just generally kept up on emails. I honestly had no idea what to blog about, so I didn’t do any work there.
The count for new COVID cases was back up over 4,000 with 75 deaths reported. Disheartening and scary.
In the afternoon, the guy I FaceTimed with the night before — the one who was being super-duper careful — texted me, and we messaged for a few hours. We agreed to meet (yes, I know this was fast, you can give me grief for it later if you must). As I was getting ready, he texted to see if we could actually put it off til the next day. He wanted to plan things a little better to help with his anxiety. I reluctantly agreed, and we talked on the phone for a bit.
After about 15 minutes on the phone, he changed his mind and said he wanted to meet that day after all. I asked if he was sure, and he assured me he was. He said he’d hop in the shower and text me when he was out. So I finished getting ready.
And 45 minutes passed with no word.
I texted to see if he was okay. No response. Twenty minutes later I called, but he didn’t answer. So I just sent a text asking if he was having second thoughts.
An hour after that, I texted one last time saying that I guessed he lost interest, something came up or his anxiety reared up. That if it was the last one, I hoped he felt better soon and to reach out when he was ready. And that if he’d just lost interest, then I guessed that the text was kind of pathetic. But he seemed really cool, so I was hoping things weren’t what they seemed.
Then I lost it.
I laid on my bed and cried. Not just because I really liked him — more than I should’ve after only a few interactions — but because he was the only guy so far that I hadn’t felt panicky at the thought of meeting. The only guy who volunteered how he was staying safe before suggesting meeting. I’d talked to at least eight other guys, none of whom volunteered that information, or ask me how I was keeping safe.
So I laid on my bed crying and feeling sorry for myself. I’m well aware that I’ve lost nothing compared a lot of people. But I was tired. I missed my friends. I missed my social life. I missed not being afraid all of the time of getting sick and ending up back on life support and/or with yet another chronic condition to manage. And just when I thought maybe I’d found something to make the long time before a vaccine potentially bearable, it fell through. In a way that also bruised my ego, no less.
I messaged with a friend, who helped me feel a little better. But I just felt glum for the rest of the night and was asleep by 9 p.m.
Total spent: $0
I knew better, but I woke up with a faint hope that I’d hear back from the ghosted-me guy with some text explaining it all. Of course, there wasn’t.
I was up about an hour before my alarm, so I just did some more swiping on the dating site. Surely some other guy out there must be being as cautious as me — and wouldn’t ghost me. I guess time will tell.
I got up with my alarm and got through emails. A couple of guys messaged back, so I sent a few messages back.. I scheduled the next day’s post to publish, and then I lay back down.
I couldn’t nap, so I just chatted on the dating site some and kept getting up to check email.
I messaged the few guys I had been talking to previously. They all seemed to be being careful, but I didn’t know if I could trust them and/or just wasn’t as excited about them as I should’ve been if we’re looking at a long-term thing.
I told them that with case counts and deaths on the rise, I was even more nervous. That I thought I could relax into meeting, but that wasn’t happening and I didn’t know when it would — and that I didn’t want to waste any more of their time than I already had. I said that if I calmed down, I’d reach out and see if they were still available, but that in the meantime it was best if they looked elsewhere.
The guys were understanding — except for one. He flipped the hell out — over the course of multiple days. You can read about that here He’d been my top choice.
So that was three for three poor choices. (The first being the guy who got tested weekly and his workplace required everyone, including clients, be in masks. We met and didn’t click. The fact that he didn’t even dignify my last text — I was going to give him a second chance to see if it was better the second time around — with a “Hey, I don’t think it really worked for me.” was just annoying and kind of dickish.) Apparently, my radar was worse off than I thought.
So I kept swiping like crazy. New plan: Talk to guys until I find my knight in a shining hazmat suit. Which is to say, someone I can trust is being as careful as he says and preferably who doesn’t want to meet up immediately, which would underscore his caution.
I spent the rest of the workday answering emails and chatting with different guys. Then in the evening watched TV and swiped/chatted more. Some potentials, but none particularly stood out that got me all that excited. Not a great thing. Guess we’d just have to see what the next day brought.
I was asleep by 10:30 p.m.
Total spent: $0
I woke up and answered a couple of dating site messages. I was up far too early, so I lay in bed trying to fall back asleep. To no avail.
I got up and worked on emails since it was my overtime weekend for the month.
New COVID cases were “only” 3,038 but there were 69 deaths. Meanwhile, the ICU beds were at 90% capacity and in-patients beds were at 88%. (This doesn’t include potential surge bedding.)
For in-patient bedding, 3,485 were being used by COVID patients (49.6% of total in-patients). There were 899 COVID patients in the ICU, (57.8% of ICU patients). Meanwhile, 51% of the state’s ventilators are in use — and 64.7% of the ones being used were by COVID patients.
I spent most of the day chatting with guys from the dating site. There were a couple of strong contenders, but the real question was how to figure out if they were going to be like the other guys I’d dealt with recently — all without actually meeting. Pandemic dating sucks.
I Snapchatted with a 27-year-old guy off and on during the day. We traded questions back and forth to get to know each other. Notably, he didn’t ask about meeting.
I also chatted with a 41-year-old guy who seemed very promising.
I was done work at 7 p.m. and watched TV and chatted. At 9:30 p.m. the 41 year old called, and we talked on the phone for a bit. He seemed very promising. If nothing else, he didn’t suggest meeting either.
I fell asleep around 11 p.m.
Total spent: $0
I woke up at 8 a.m. and sent a couple of messages to the guys from the day before, then got up and caught up on emails. After that, it was time to work on the blog. I had no idea what I was going to write about.
So I ended up writing about my dating adventures thus far. The blog was lagging, so it took hours — and the post was so long that I had to break it into two parts. Explaining that most guys on dating sites are idiots apparently takes a while.
I had gotten my paycheck the day before, so I deposited it remotely.
I chatted off and on with both of the guys I’d chatted with the day before, along with a few others whose conversation was more sporadic.
Unfortunately, the 41 year old did ask about meeting. And was a bit puzzled as to why I was hesitant, which didn’t help his case. We agreed to talk on the phone a bit more that night.
I got through my workday and just chilled out with TV. I ended the night late with a 10 p.m. phone call from the guy. It didn’t go well.
He was a little weird that I was talking to my friend about him even though we hadn’t met yet. (I guess he’s never met a woman?) And he was kind of dismissive about the COVID thing. That is, he made the fatal mistake of quoting the survival rate — one of the quickest ways to piss me off.
I snapped at him that if he’d let me finish when I started talking at the start of the call (we got sidetracked), he’d know that I had crappy luck with disease probability. I told him a little about what I’d gone through when I was 19. He got quiet and said that sounded awful. We chatted for another couple of minutes but then I said I had to go to sleep.
I was asleep around 11:30 p.m.
Total spent: $0
I woke up still very tired, but I couldn’t nap. I sent long messages to two friends about why the 41 year old was toast in my book. I figured my snapping at him the night before would be enough to deter him, but he sent me a kissy face emoji. So I replied that, upon due consideration, I didn’t think we were a good match.
The Banfield plan charge hit my card for $33.95.
Otherwise, I answered emails, Snapchatted with the 27 year old and generally wished I could sleep.
Around noon, I ran out to CVS to pick up a prescription. It has a $0 copay. I also broke down and finally got some hair dye, since it’s not like I can safely go to the salon any time soon.
I had $7 in Extrabux, so I paid $1.42 and $7 went into the Saved Savings account.
I desperately wanted to get takeout while I was out. But the last two times I went to my favorite place, an employee (different one each time) had pulled down their mask, presumably to talk. Inexplicably, none of their masked coworkers called them out.
The last time, it was a person in the kitchen so… no. I am going to email the store, and hopefully it addresses the issue and emails to let me know.
So I came home and had a small snack per my usual diet. I kept Snapchatting and working. Then I just chilled out and started rewatching Community. I wanted to watch the last season, but it’d been too long since I watched the other ones. So I decided to start from the beginning.
The 41 year old messaged to ask if I’d feel better if he took a COVID test to prove he was negative. I explained that it was more his seemingly cavalier attitude and his weirdness about my talking to my friend about him.
We ended up having an hour-long talk that mostly addressed my concerns. Specifically, he said he was trying to make me feel better about COVID since I was obviously so worked up and admitted he’d done a crappy job, partially because it’d been late and he was tired. He said he knew the numbers were rising and hospitals were filling and that it was serious. He just had been concerned that I was that level of freaked out.
He was also apparently unaware how much women talk to each other. I had to break it to him that any woman he’s talked to for a decent length on a dating site had probably talked to her friends about him. He was genuinely surprised. Men are clueless.
We talked about other things too, and it was a really, really great conversation that flowed easily and we made each other laugh. He said that maybe we could meet up after the pandemic because, yeah, he really liked me but understood my caution. So I agreed to leave the door open for now. Still proceeding with caution, but it was a really great conversation. So maybe he’s not out of the running after all.
I went to bed at 9 and was asleep by 10 p.m.
Total spent: $42.37
I woke up, worked on emails and lay back down for a bit. Then I got up and worked on the blog.
I sent a message to the 41 year old saying that I enjoyed our previous talk. He replied that it was lovely. I said I hoped we could do it again and that I hoped his day wasn’t as boring as mine. He didn’t reply, but we did talk for three days straight, so a day off isn’t the worst thing.
Similarly, I’d talked to the 27 year old during the weekend and off and on through most of Monday. So I decided I’d better give it a day before I even thought about messaging again.
In other words, it was a very quiet day. I messaged a bit with friends and did the Twitter thing and obviously answered emails as they came in.
I ran to the grocery store for the week. I went a day early so that I could get cherries before they went off sale. They still weren’t a great price — $2.99 a pound– but they were really, really good. So I spent far too much money getting about a week’s worth (assuming a large portion each day). In the end, the total for everything was $27.46. I saved $2.70 that went into saved savings.
Then I came home, finished work and dove into dyeing my hair at home. It was a little nerve-wracking just because I hadn’t done it in more than 20 years. And never for gray roots.
Happily, it turned out well. It’s a shallow thing (especially since I’m not exactly going out on the town), but it really did make me feel significantly better.
Beyond that, I watched TV and felt pretty bored. I called it a night at 9:30 and was sleep by 10 p.m.
Total spent: $30.16
I got up, answered emails and then scheduled the next day’s post. I also did a laundry so $3.50 went into the Washer/Dryer fund.
The Hulu charge hit my account for $6.51.
I was hoping either of the two guys would reach out that day but… They didn’t. I decided I’d contact them Thursday to gauge if they’re still interested. Maybe Friday for the 41 year old, since we did exchange a couple of messages Tuesday.
I mainly chilled out all day. I got a couple new matches. Although I’m pretty sure I’m going with either the 27 year old or the 41 year old (assuming they don’t flake on me), I chatted with those two new guys just in case. They seem nice enough, but… Still leaning toward the current two guys.
Beyond that, I watched TV after I was off and messaged with the two new guys. Then it was time for bed. Pandemic life is so boring.
Total spent: $10.01
Total spent: $82.54
Holy crap, that’s a low-spend week! I can’t remember ever spending less than $150 in a given week even with the pandemic cramping my social life. Probably a fluke — just a rare time when routine charges/errands barely hit — but it’s nice anyway.
How did everyone else’s week go?