These spending diaries are a way for me to be more cognizant of my spending. They’re also a peek into my daily life for those who care.
For those who are new, my style of “spending” is a little convoluted. I have two checking accounts. I keep the majority of my money in the secondary account, transferring $280 a week into the main account. But I charge everything to the card to maximize rewards. As charges accrue, I transfer money out of the main account into the secondary one. Then I make a weekly payment on my credit card.
A tad confusing, perhaps, but it works for me. Anyway, here’s how spending went this week:
I woke up late. The iPad (aka my alarm clock) had run down. I need to start remembering to check the charge before bed every night.
It meant that I had only about 40 minutes to do my morning ablutions, put in contacts, put on sunscreen, get dressed and catch up on emails before I had to leave for a doctor appointment.
I did it, but barely.
The visit wasn’t about a new health concern, just my routine monthly checkup to get the med that helps with my fatigue. It’s a controlled substance, so I can’t get more than one month’s supply at a time. There’s no copay for my primary care doctor.
After that, I ran to CVS to pick up a prescription that was waiting. It had a $0 copay as well.
Then I came home, caught up on emails and did a little work on the blog.
New COVID cases were staying in the low 3,000s, but there were 59 deaths that day — and that was lower than the two previous days.
I messaged a little with the 27 year old. I also left a message for the 41 year old to see if he was interested in having another phone chat in the near future. (His phone was being buggy and won’t do video chat, which would be preferred.)
I kept working and playing on social media and chatting with the 27 year old. In the early afternoon, the 41 year old confirmed that we could have another phone chat soon. Meanwhile the 27 year old agreed to video chat the following day. I wanted to make my choice soon, so I needed to talk to both and get a feel for who would be a better fit.
After work, I had therapy. We discussed some of my concerns about the 41 year old (there was some question of whether he understood the gravity of the COVID threat or was just saying what I wanted to hear, though it sounded like he was being careful either way). But I admitted that I was leaning toward him anyway.
That said, the last three guys I’d been inclined toward proved to be assholes, I wasn’t sure I could trust my instincts. My insurance is waiving copays for telesessions so the normal $25 copay went into the Saved Savings account.
I watched some TV and generally goofed off. I exchanged a couple more messages with the 41 year old, but we still didn’t set up a time for a phone chat. Didn’t love the ambiguity there.
I also messaged for a while with a Twitter friend who’s having a hard time in her love life.
I went to bed at 9 p.m. but didn’t fall asleep til some time after 10.
Total spent: $25
I really didn’t want to get up. But I did and got through emails. Then I did a little blog work (including scheduling the next day’s post) and went back to bed.
I checked the Department of Health’s website. Cases were back up to nearly 4,000 and 91 deaths. From what I understand, it can take weeks to die of COVID, so the death toll would likely continue to swell for a while.
I did two loads of laundry: my sheets and the guest bedroom’s comforter, since the cat was so nice as to puke on the latter not once but twice. So $7 went into the washer/dryer fund.
The monthly $6.51 was deducted from my account for Hulu.
I had slept enough but was really tired for some reason. Yay chronic fatigue. So I had massive carb cravings. It had been a few weeks since I ordered pizza and cinnamon sticks, so I indulged. It’s a pricey place and I got an extra-large to help amortize the cost per meal, so it was $36.21 after tip. Ouch. But it lasts enough meals that it’s an average of $5 per meal, so it’s not quite as bad as it sounds.
I finished the workday, watched TV for a bit and then hopped in the shower, did my hair and put on makeup because I was supposed to have a video chat with the 27 year old.
We hadn’t set a time, and I didn’t want to pester him as soon as he was off work. So I messaged at 6 p.m. to see if he was around. No response.
I messaged more with the friend who was having guy troubles and watched more Community. Never heard back from the 27 year old. I was annoyed. Maybe he thought I wasn’t serious about meeting.
I did end up talking a bit to the 41 year old, who I was leaning more toward anyway. We didn’t start talking until almost 11:30 so we hung up at midnight. I was asleep a few minutes later.
Total spent: $49.72
I must’ve really needed sleep because I didn’t wake up until 10 a.m. But I felt great!
So of course, I had to check the COVID numbers. Only 2,700ish new cases but almost 150 deaths. Yikes.
I did some work on the blog, and my friend Kevin messaged so we chatted a bit.
I watched TV and fooled around on social media for a while, then started on my puzzle again. The video chat guy from the previous day messaged. Apparently, a friend had dropped by for a socially distanced drink. And I guess that was too urgent to send a quick reply to my message? Ugh, men are exhausting.
I called it a night around 9:30 p.m. but didn’t fall asleep until about 11.
Total spent: $0
I woke up to a notification of a new match and smirked. It was a guy I had matched with on Bumble back in March. We exchanged a ton of texts and had a long phone call one night and then he ghosted. So when I saw his profile on OKCupid, I swiped just to see if he would match again. Which obviously he did.
So I sent him a quick note saying hey, that we’d talked before and my texting or something apparently spooked him. So he probably didn’t want to continue a conversation.
He replied that he hadn’t been spooked. He’d gotten COVID and been hospitalized for a month. Then had pneumonia after he got out. Then some other stuff that meant he was basically just getting back into normal life.
So we chatted for a while. I was greatly torn because I’d already more or less settled on the 41 year old. But this guy and I had (the last time we talked) had great chemistry, and it seemed to continue this time. And there there had been a couple of potential red flags with the 41 year old. (He did later explain, but it’s always hard to tell if a guy is covering.) So maybe the new guy would be better?
We texted back and forth for a while. His text replies started getting slower. Then he just stopped responding after around 4 p.m., so I wasn’t sure if he got busy or was ghosting. I figured time would tell and, worst case scenario, I still had the 41 year old as an option. Also the 27 year old, of course, but he’d really irked me by not sending me a quick message to let me know he couldn’t chat like we had agreed to.
Honestly, at this point I just wanted to be able to make a damn decision. This was emotionally and mentally exhausting.
I also had a phone call with the friend who was having some serious issues with a guy. I hated that he messed with her head so much, and I was hoping I can help even in some small way.
Otherwise, I played on social media and watched TV and generally vegged out for the rest of the day. I called it a night around 9:30 p.m. and was asleep by 10ish.
Total spent: $0
I woke up to a message from a guy on the dating site. It was a guy I’d told I wasn’t really dating during the pandemic because I felt like his exposure levels might be too high, working in a warehouse. But he’s been pretty convincing that he doesn’t really interact with anyone much other than the person who takes his temperature when he arrives at work. That said, another issue is that he often works 55-hour weeks. So I don’t know how much I’d see him.
Anyway, I was honest with him: that someone had come back into the picture the day before, and that — if he wasn’t ghosting — I was inclined to give that guy a chance. He said he didn’t mind being a backup plan and to keep him apprised.
While we were chatting, I was catching up on emails. I also got a Snapchat message from a guy I know from Tinder. We’ve never met — he has pretty bad social anxiety — but we still talk from time to time. He’d been driving an ATV and hit a rut, sending him flying. Broke both collarbones and five ribs. Yikes.
Only 1,500ish new COVID cases that day, but it appeared at least one lab just hadn’t reported in time because only 8,000ish tests were run. And 32 deaths had been reported. This was seriously emotionally exhausting.
I chatted with a couple of friends, answering emails as they came in. Then I FaceTimed with Mom for a bit.
The monthly massage auto-charge hit my card. Given that I don’t know when I’m going back — and I have a bunch of credit on my account — I may cancel that. But this month I was charged $50.
Around 4 p.m. the throwback guy (we’re going to call him Joe because he specifically asked I not use his real name on the blog) texted. So apparently I wasn’t being ghosted, which was nice.
Since he’d already had COVID — but multiple months ago, so he wasn’t still shedding the virus — it was safe to invite him over. We chatted and watched a movie. Joe got a pizza. Conversation was easy, and we laughed a lot and were generally pretty comfortable around each other. It was just nice to have human contact again, frankly.
I fell asleep around 11 p.m.
Total spent: $50
I didn’t sleep well. At all. Specifically, I kept waking up for hours at a time. All in all, I got about two two-hour stints of sleep over the course of about seven and a half hours. Ugh ugh ugh.
I caught up on emails and then lay back down. Then got up and answered emails, then lay back down.
There were 3,500 new COVID cases reported. That said, the previous day’s probably had a lag, so the higher number might’ve just been due to delayed reporting.
More importantly there had been 134 deaths reported. It was getting real here, folks.
I felt awful still, but I couldn’t get back to sleep. Instead I sat up and tried to think coherently. Sleep deprivation leads to cravings, so I didn’t want any food that was in the house (read: protein bars, peanut butter and frozen meals). But I was also too tired for it to be safe to drive.
So I did the unthinkable and ordered GrubHub for Thai food. Given the fees involved ($3.99 for the delivery fee plus $2-something for a “service fee” whatever that means plus tip) I got two meals. So at least the cost was amortized somewhat.
Even so, a 20% tip meant about $12 added to the cost of the meals. That’s insane. I don’t understand how people stomach those fees routinely. (Yes, I know the apps have memberships that defray the cost somewhat — including ones free through certain credit cards — but still… sheesh.)
The total was (wince) $29.44. This necessitated starting a new financial week — but the last one lasted an astounding 14 days (!!!). Guess spending really is way down.
Unfortunately, the restaurant closes midday, so the earliest delivery I could get was 6 p.m. and it was only 2:30. So I had a snack and sat around/answered emails til the workday was over.
I messaged the other guy I had been talking to for the super-fun “Hey I know we’ve been flirting for two weeks and were set to meet within the next couple of days. But someone came back in the picture, and I think he’s a slightly better fit.” conversation.
Predictably, the guy was peeved that we’d flirted so long and nothing was going to come of it. And he said he still really thought we had a great connection. So he lobbied for us to meet too, so I could make a proper comparison between the two guys.
Honestly, it was tempting because I felt like I had amazing chemistry with both. But I also felt it wasn’t fair to Joe because I’d stressed that picking just one person was integral for both of us. On the other hand, Joe had already had COVID, so he was probably safe even on the off-chance the second guy did have COVID.
My thoughts were contradictory and jumbled — at least partially because I was so sleep-deprived — so I was conflicted and exhausted and told the guy I’d have to think about it. Then I lay on the bed crying because I was so confused and weary and I missed the days where you could just go on dates and see who clicks better.
I felt increasingly worse to the point that around 4:30 p.m. I felt nauseated just sitting up. So I lay back in the recliner and tried not to move. It didn’t help. My food came at 6 p.m. I took one bite and nearly threw up. Which is when it dawned on me that I’d been so tired I hadn’t been drinking much water. I was dehydrated, which happens to me really easily and quickly here in the desert.
So I drank most of a Powerade — which has enough sugar in it that it sort of added to the nausea short-term — and lay in bed whimpering, feeling dizzy and trying not to puke. Around 7:30 p.m. I finally dozed off for a blessed hour. When I woke up, I felt close to human, so I got up, turned off all of the lights, took my meds, brushed my teeth and lay back down. I fell asleep somewhere around 9:30 p.m. Thank god the day was over.
Total spent: $29.44
I woke up feeling better — no nausea — but still pretty tired. So I caught up on emails and then lay back down for a bit. Unfortunately, I couldn’t fall asleep, so I got back up and played on social media in between answering emails.
Around 10 a.m. I started finally feeling sleepy, so I was able to rest. I woke up feeling significantly better. About as close to peppy as I get. But I was still closely monitoring myself to make sure I drank enough water.
I had on of the delivered meals for lunch. I was increasingly anxious that Joe hadn’t texted about seeing each other again when he made a big deal at first about spending a lot of time together. (We exchanged a brief text the day before. The good news is he answered. The bad news was that it was a little formal.)
I was probably overreacting, but my dating luck has been terrible — not just during the pandemic but in all of 2020. So I didn’t want it to turn out to be another non-starter. That said, I also didn’t want to be clingy. So I just told myself to settle down. Worrying wasn’t going to change anything. Either he had lost interest or he hadn’t.
I killed time throughout the day, but ended up sending a flirty text to Joe mid-afternoon. I figured a quick one-line flirt is rarely frowned upon.
After work, I just watched TV and grew increasingly anxious as I didn’t get a response to my text. By 8 p.m. I was spiraling, sure I’d picked the wrong guy. Dating is absolutely exhausting.
I went to bed around 9 p.m.
Total spent: $0
Total spent: $154.16
Another low-spend week! Though it would normally (even “normal” by pandemic standards) be a little higher because I put off the usual weekly grocery trip for a couple of days. Still, that would probably put it at $190 max. So quite good no matter what. Granted, I’d be happier about it (or just things in general) if this whole dating thing were working out better. But at least I have something to be happy about, right?
How did everyone else’s spending go this week?