These spending diaries are a way for me to be more cognizant of my spending. They’re also a peek into my daily life for those who care.
For those who are new, my style of “spending” is a little convoluted. I have two checking accounts. I keep the majority of my money in the secondary account, transferring $280 a week into the main account. But I charge everything to the card to maximize rewards. As charges accrue, I transfer money out of the main account into the secondary one. Then I make a weekly payment on my credit card.
A tad confusing, perhaps, but it works for me. Anyway, here’s how spending went this week:
I woke up and checked my phone. The 36 year old still hadn’t texted back.
I was pretty sure he was ghosting. Which was frustrating because I’d told him in each of our conversations (when discussing bad previous dating app interactions) that I abhorred ghosting and that if he ever decided he wasn’t interested to please shoot me a quick text saying he didn’t think it was a good fit. I told him I wouldn’t reply or, at most, would say “Okay, thanks for letting me know.” I just hate silence and wondering.
So I sent him one more text and decided I’d leave it alone if he didn’t reply. I said that I was sorry if my previous message had come off as pressuring him to meet. I didn’t intend that and was simply so used to guys being eager to meet, I’d just assumed. But I was totally fine to just keep talking if he wanted — either to be careful or if he was, um, interviewing other candidates. Since it’s a dating app, I knew I might not be the only person he was talking to.
I got caught up on emails, then messaged two friends to update them. And said that of course I still had the option of the 23-year-old PhD student, and he would be fun. I just had to shake off the sting of rejection, if that’s what was happening.
And about 10 minutes after I sent that message to a second friend, the 36 year old texted back to say that we could meet and to let him know when I was thinking. He referenced an ongoing joke from Tuesday night’s chat about staying 100 feet apart to be safe.
So I texted back that given the size of my living room/dining, we might have to settle for slightly less than 100 feet. But that if he actually did prefer a distanced visit, my recliners were six feet apart. I was 99% sure he was joking about the distance, but just in case he wasn’t, I wanted him to feel comfortable. I ended by saying that I’d prefer a day I didn’t have to wake up early, so Friday or Saturday would work.
I texted Mom asking her to order some fiber gummies for me from Costco. Her DF has a membership, and I can get a 220-count bottle there for $22ish, compared to 90 gummies for $14ish at Walgreens. She ordered two for me, and I sent $48.55 by PayPal.
The 36 year old texted back to ask if he could let me know the following day whether Friday or Saturday would be better. I said yep, and decided I’d assume a Saturday visit — but clean for a Friday one, just in case.
I narfed around on social media and did a little blog work, and suddenly it was 1 p.m. Workout time. Ugh.
I was nervous because I barely made it through the shorter video last time, and this time I was back to a three-mile “walk” (in quotes because it’s really just step aerobics minus the step). But I’d chosen the easiest of the bunch, so I made it through without wanting to die. That’s a start.
After work, I went out to CVS to pick up a prescription ($15) and some hair dye ($8.68 after tax). My ExtraCare Pass* bucks had come in but they didn’t have the item I wanted there. So I went to a different CVS and got it. After the $10 in Extrabux plus a $3 off coupon, the total was $8.13. Normally, I buy this on Amazon, so I calculated saved savings that way ($6.90). That amount went into the Saved Savings account.
I ordered Red Robin pickup to take advantage of my birthday burger. Given that it was 111 out, it’s a minor miracle I still had the appetite for even a chicken burger. But my stomach is just that impressive, I guess. I tipped the person who came to the car $2 out of my walking around money.
I went home, ate and watched TV for a while before calling it a night at 8:30 p.m. (I was still catching up on sleep from Tuesday’s late night.) I was asleep by 9 p.m.
Total spent: $89.26 ($87.26 out of weekly funds)
* I really recommend this program. For $48 a year, you get $10 in Extrabux each month, 10% off store brand items and free shipping on some items. I use it for basics like contact lens solution, lotion and sometimes face/eye moisturizer.
TGI-friggin-F. And not just because of the prospect of meeting the 36 year old that day or Saturday. Though my dating luck has been so bad this year, I decided I’d believe it once he was actually here. Some of you may recall that an earlier guy ghosted after saying he was about to leave to come see me. Sigh.
I got through emails, scheduled the next day’s blog post, changed the sheets, then ran a load of laundry ($3.50 to the Washer/Dryer fund).
Then I cleaned like crazy. Wiped down both bathrooms’ sinks, counters and mirrors, the exterior of both toilets (I’d cleaned the bowls earlier in the week) and the kitchen counters and sinks. I also ran the Roomba, swept up some stuff it missed, Swiffered some places it missed and wiped down the shower stall.
I was actually dripping sweat by the time I was done — I was doing this in an 80-degree house, don’t forget — and my legs were shaky. But at least the place was clean.
When the laundry was done, I folded it and put it all away. Then collapsed in a chair and tried to rest and enjoy social media.
My peanut butter was finally back in stock on the Smucker’s online store. (Adam’s isn’t sold in Arizona for some reason.) So I went to reactivate my paused subscription (which I had no memory of pausing, grrrr) and promptly cancelled the subscription by mistake. Sigh.
I got myself signed back up for a subscription, and I was charged $28.75 for the first six-jar shipment.
Around 2 p.m. the 36 year old texted that he could come over that night if it worked for me. And suggested “around 9 p.m.” Ugh. Another late night. But it was a Friday, so I could sleep in the next day.
He’s a vegan, so I warned him that other than half a container of spicy hummus and some chips/salsa, I had zero vegan food. So he should probably eat before he got here. Also, since he drinks wine and I don’t, I reminded him that I have no wineglasses; so along with wine, he’d want to bring a glass or drink from a super classy coffee cup.
Basically, I’m an amazing hostess.
I lay down after I got off work, and took my energy med a little late, so I’d still be perky at 9 p.m. Unfortunately, it’s not working out. You can learn more here.
He left late, and I couldn’t shut my brain off. Trying to figure out if there was a way to make this work. Whether the other guy was still interested or had I burned that bridge? And that guy has two roommates so was that also too dangerous?
Basically, I just didn’t sleep. I dozed from like 3 a.m. to 4:30 a.m. and then from 6ish to around 7:30 a.m. Uggggghhhh.
Total spent: $32.25
At 7:30 a.m. I was wide awake, so I got on my phone and updated two friends about the whole fallout and how frustrating it was and how I was wondering about the other guy. He’s a 23-year-old PhD student with two roommates, so I was concerned about exposure levels. =
Then I texted the PhD student to let him know what the deal was (I’d been talking to him and one other guy, the other guys seemed like a slightly better fit but turned out not to be) and to see if he was still interested in meeting.
In the meantime, I went back to the dating app and checked a couple of people who had sent intros and answered a message that had come in a couple of days prior that I’d ignored because, well, juggling two prospects is exhausting enough.
So I ended up chatting with a 26 year old who’s being super careful. And of course, right as that was looking promising, the PhD student got back to me saying he was definitely still interested and answering my questions.
The utter lack of sleep — remember, I need a bare minimum of eight and I was on three — meant food cravings (mainly carbs) were crazily high. So I called in a takeout order to Cracker Barrel for a French toast breakfast plus biscuits. The total after tip was $14.51.
I came home, gorged, talked more to both the 26 year old and the PhD candidate. The meal was so large, I ended up only having a couple of biscuits to eat the rest of the day.
I woke up to a message that the PhD student’s roommates have no in-person classes and work in clean rooms. He himself works in a lab where few people are and he himself has his own little office to do his work. So that was promising. But I was still skeptical that he’d want to keep Ubering to see me multiple times a week long-term.
Still, he was interested in meeting. I made it clear that I’d just met the other guy, but the PhD student was still interested in coming over the following day. The 36 year old had barely left the house since arriving in Phoenix, so I wasn’t too worried about exposure and agreed to meet the PhD student Sunday.
I chilled out with some TV and crawled into bed at 9. At which point, a guy texted out of the blue. I was incredulous, given that he’d said he was going to shower and come over, then ghosted, then texted three weeks later at 11 p.m. on a Sunday saying he wanted to “rekindle this connection” then didn’t even read my reply texts. And now, three weeks later, was texting to say he messed up. Again, you can read about that here. I highly recommend it, since he basically tried to sext his way out of an apology/explanation.
I fell asleep around 10:30 p.m.
Total spent: $14.51
I woke up a little after 8 a.m. feeling human. If super creaky.
I tweeted the ridiculous exchange from the night before. Then I settled down to work on the blog. So much had happened with dating stuff that I ended up doing another post — even though one had run the following week.
But I also needed to sit down and brainstorm some post ideas because I felt like I was running out.
I made my weekly grocery run, if for no other reason than the 23 year old might be around for dinnertime, and I had zero food fit for normal people. I picked up a cheese pizza (he’s a vegetarian) and my own foodstuffs for a total of $31.14.
I ate, and then I rested until the PhD student came over.
It was… okay?
He’s nice, obviously smart and constantly complimenting me, but conversation was a bit more stilted than I’d hoped. It was the same on our video chat, but I’d hoped it was just the weirdness of the format. Apparently not.
He ended up not being able to stay too long because he and his roommates still had to get some stuff for the apartment they’d just moved into. Sunday was apparently the last day they would all be off work for about a week.
He also said he probably wouldn’t be able to see me until next weekend and that he was generally super busy Monday to Wednesday, less so but still kinda busy Thursday and Friday but available on weekends.
I was annoyed because I’d been pretty clear that I wanted someone I could see at least twice a week. I’m really tired of guys saying whatever they need to to get me to meet them. With the various concerns I already had, this pretty much ruled this guy out.
I’m so very sick of meeting people during a damn pandemic. At some point, I’ll learn that men say whatever they need to.
I talked some more with a 26 year old, who then asked when I was thinking about meeting. I sighed. But then I read on, and he clarified that he wasn’t pushing to meet. He just wanted a general idea.
I told him that I’d just met someone who didn’t work out, so it would be two weeks minimum. Shockingly, he seemed fine with that. Then again, back when cases were out of control, he’d apparently suggested to some people on the app that they put off meeting a little until things died down. For whatever reason, most of them found this very insulting. I saw it as a very promising sign.
I told him I was too out of it from lack of sleep to set up a chat right then, but that I’d touch base with him the next day if I slept well.
I called it a night early, so I was in bed by 8:30 p.m. and asleep by 9.
Total spent: $31.14
I woke up feeling like I’d finally gotten rid of the sleep deficit. I got through emails and messaged a bit with a friend who’s also navigating dating app stuff.
Then I messaged the 26 year old to let him know that we could video chat the next day if he was up for it.
My add-on insurance premium for vision and dental hit my card for $24.
I worked out, which was exactly as unpleasant as you’d expect, but at least I did it.
The rest of the day passed pretty uneventfully. I texted back and forth with the 26 year old during most of the daytime.
I was now watching In The Dark, which had seemed intriguing when I saw the previews and has a bit more depth than those let on.
I was still a bit weary, so I went to bed around 8:30 p.m. and was asleep by 9 p.m.
Total spent: $0
I woke up feeling rested, but also wondering how it was only Tuesday. And then the hellacious day began.
My modem had died overnight. Which I found at 7 a.m. When I was supposed to start work.
Best Buy doesn’t open til 10 a.m.
I used my phone as a hotspot to answer what emails I could. But since the hotspot had a different IP address than my home, my boss needed to let me into the system. Which he didn’t do until 9.
I turned the hotspot off as soon as I was done, and only sporadically turned it on to check emails because I only have 3 GB of data on my Mint Mobile plan, and I was concerned about how much it was eating into those.
At 10 a.m. I went to Best Buy, got helped immediately and was out the door in under 10 minutes. I don’t count business purchases in my weekly spending, so that amount won’t be listed.
I came home and set up the modem. Then found out I had to activate it with Cox. And thus the real trouble began.
Cox offers three options to activate the modem: service address, account number or your Cox account sign in. Easy enough, right?
I entered my service address and got an “Oops, we found multiple results matching that. Please the correct one from the dropdown menu.” message. Both of the results were literally identical. Not even periods after “Ave” or “W.” Exactly. the. same.
And yet, no matter which one I chose — and I tried each about three times — I kept getting the same message to choose from the dropdown menu.
Okay, fine. So I went to sign into my Cox account. Unfortunately, since I have auto-pay and thus never have to log on, I couldn’t remember my password. So I used the Forgot Password feature. And the reCaptcha didn’t work.
I tried again, and it didn’t send after more than two minutes. So I tried a third time, and it went through… But no email appeared in either my inbox or junk folder.
So I tried sending it again. Again the reCaptcha didn’t work — this time twice. I finally got it to send and… still no email.
I had no idea what my account number was, so I couldn’t use that option to activate the modem. Instead I called tech support to get them to reset the password. I was told wait times were longer than usual and to call back. Literally no option to hold.
A few minutes later I tried again. I was told that wait times were long and to try texting. Again, no option to hold. Are you kidding me???
So I texted and immediately got a message that — surprise — wait times were longer right then and to sit tight.
I realized that I might have the account number in some saved email, and a search of my folders found it. And I know this will surprise you, but the Account Number option to activate the modem didn’t work either. I kept getting the message that an error had occurred.
So I wrote a long ranting tweet about why Cox was the worst — at this point, it had been 50 minutes since I texted and I still hadn’t heard back. About 30 minutes later, @CoxHelp reached out and said to DM them the various details of the modem, and they’d activate it for me.
About an hour after I did that, I got a message that they’re only for residential accounts, but she was going to try anyway. Meanwhile, about an hour and 45 minutes after I texted, I finally got someone to help me reset the password to my account.
And when I tried to use the new password to activate the modem, the system told me it was the wrong username or password. I checked both by signing into my Cox account on my phone. That worked just fine.
I went out and got takeout. Because it seemed better than breaking something, which was my other inclination. It was $9.34 plus a $1 tip from my walking around money.
About two hours after I initially sent the modem details, I got a message from @CoxHelps that they couldn’t activate the modem since it was a business account. They gave me a number to text. At this point, it was 2 p.m. I’d gotten the modem set up at 10:30 a.m.
By 3 p.m. I had a message back from the text-based tech support for business accounts. I gave the details. About 15 minutes later, they got back to me that it wasn’t an approved modem, so it couldn’t be activated.
Apparently, Cox business accounts can use one of five — FIVE — modems. Which is interesting, because my old modem wasn’t on that list and I never heard a peep about compatibility.
I packed the modem back up and returned it at Best Buy. Only to find out they didn’t have any of the approved models in stock. One store in Tempe (19 miles away) had one of the models in stock.
So I swore furiously and drove to Tempe. The only good news is that a) the trip was basically all highway and b) the new modem was $20 cheaper than the one I’d gotten that morning. But I hit some mild rush hour traffic getting back home.
At this point, it was 5:45 p.m. Again, this had been going on since 10:30 a.m.
I set up the new modem and texted tech support to activate it. In the meantime, I wrote to my friend Kevin about what a day I’d had. To which he replied, “Oh, I have one of those modems. I would’ve given it to you.” Kevin lives three miles from me. I told him that if he’d excuse me, I had to go set something on fire.
Tech support got back to me about 20 minutes later and activated the damned device. But I still had no connection.
I texted them back and had to wait for a new representative, which took another 15ish minutes. The person tried resetting the modem. My PC said there was a connection, so I let the representative go. Aaaand, my PC was wrong. Pages weren’t loading, my Roku couldn’t find a connection, etc.
I tried tech support yet again (at least at this point it was late enough that I was getting someone pretty much immediately). They tried resetting it again. Then taking it offline and back online. Nothing.
So I set up an appointment for the next day, but I was told that if the issue wasn’t a connectivity one, I’d be charged $130.
So I went over to Kevin’s — it was now 8:30 p.m. — and picked up his modem to make sure the one I’d bought wasn’t just faulty. I came home, set it up, and asked them to activate it.
I was completely exhausted and puzzled as to how I hadn’t broken down crying yet. Because it’d felt like I was on the verge for several hours.
I watched a little Netflix and ate some corn chips and then was so tired I was actually dizzy. I fell asleep around 10:30 p.m.
Total spent: $10.34 ($9.34 out of weekly spending)
I got up exhausted. I felt like cotton was wrapped around my brain. On the tech support person’s advice, I wanted to switch out the Ethernet cable to make sure that wasn’t the issue. So I looked through my spare cords collection and found one. Or thought I had. Then I realized I’d grabbed a USB cord. It was going to be a long day.
The hotspot’s IP address must’ve changed because I was once again locked out of the system. I answered the emails I could, then waited for my boss to the see the text that I needed to be let in.
Thanks to the hotspot usage, I was at 2.3 GB of my 3 GB limit with two weeks left in the month (and another full day of hotspot activity). So I bought 2 GB ($21) from Mint Mobile.
I had to leave for a doctor appointment (no copay), and my boss still hadn’t let me in the system. I was fretting big time.
I stopped by the bank to get $20 out for walking around money and, since my boss still hadn’t texted back, I swung by Best Buy to get a new Ethernet cord.
They directed me to the area the Ethernet cords were in, but there was no Ethernet cords there. I looked and looked for several minutes.
Eventually, I realized that I was looking at Ethernet cords. What I wanted was something completely different, and my brain was too exhausted to name it correctly.
I literally had to Google “What do you call the cable that plugs into the wall for Internet?” because that was my level of brain activity.
Coaxial cable. I’d know that on a normal day.
That turned out not to be the issue. I also tried swapping out the Ethernet cable. Fun fact, I had been holding an Ethernet cable that morning, I was just so tired I thought it was a USB cord. Sigh.
I called the massage place to let them know that I might not make my 4 p.m. appointment because I’d have to leave by 3:40 p.m. and the technician could show up as late as 3 p.m.
A bit after noon, my boss finally checked his texts — he was busy with some monthly scheduled stuff all morning — and let me in the system. I cleaned out the queue in about 40 minutes.
A friend called around 1:30 p.m. freaked out about a newly diagnosed health issue. I did my best to calm her down and just be there for her.
I killed time through the rest of the day, anxiously waiting for the technician. Who of course didn’t show up until 3 p.m. Argh.
Luckily, he was able to find and fix the problem within 40 minutes. Turns out that the MAC address for the modem was typed in wrong: It had been entered as 84 instead of 74. I quickly checked my texts with Cox and, yep, I’d been so exhausted I’d made the typo and missed it when I double checked before sending.
If he’d asked, I would’ve admitted my error and paid the $130. But he didn’t, and I decided not to volunteer that information.
Happily, I was still able to get to my massage on time! She did ayurvedic, which she’d never done before and involved a lot of lovely head rubbing. I came away smelling of jasmine and much more able to move my neck in the full range of motion.
I tipped $15 out of my walking around money.
On the way home, I broke my “only one grocery trip a week” rule to get some snacks for a total of $5.33. I maintain that, since Swedish fish have 0 grams of fat, they’re a lean protein. So my food was practically healthy.
I came home, watched TV and then the friend called much calmer. She’d talked to the doctor more about the results, and the doc had made her understand it wasn’t as big a deal as she thought.
I got off the call at 9 p.m. and noticed that Saturday’s blast from the past had actually followed up. Thus this is obviously a posthumous post, as I have died from shock.
I was morbidly curious what on earth he thought he could say to make me forgive him for his past misdeeds. So I told him I had about 20 minutes of getting ready for bed if he wanted to chat.
Which he apparently took to mean “Write a XXX novel starring you and me.”
I so badly wanted to include it in the most recent dating post, but it’s literally pornographic. A few sentences in, I said that if I were him I’d have tried engaging the woman in deeper conversation, but hey what’d I know? He actually replied that he only had 20 minutes, and deeper conversation would take more than that. So he wanted to leave a visual in my head.
Every few minutes, I’d inject something snarky or at least neutral, thinking he’d get the hint that I wasn’t into it. He did not. And I just kept letting him go on because, well, it was hilarious.
After I was done getting ready for bed, I said that his allotted time was up, and I hoped he felt he’d used his time wisely. He said he hoped he did. Which is interesting, given all of my discouraging comments.
Men are exhausting. But also inadvertently have tremendous comedic value.
I was asleep around 10 p.m.
Total spent: $61.33 ($46.33 out of weekly funds)
Total spent this week: $238.83 ($220.83 out of weekly funds)
Definitely higher spending than the last few weeks, but still under my limit of $280 a week. So I guess it’s okay. But I hope for a financially quieter week next week.
How’d everyone else’s week go?