These spending diaries are a way for me to be more cognizant of my spending. They’re also a peek into my daily life for those who care.
For those who are new, my style of “spending” is a little convoluted. I have two checking accounts. I keep the majority of my money in the secondary account, transferring $280 a week into the main account. But I charge everything to the card to maximize rewards. As charges accrue, I transfer money out of the main account into the secondary one. Then I make a weekly payment on my credit card.
A tad confusing, perhaps, but it works for me. Anyway, here’s how spending went this week:
Back to work for me after a nice birthday. I got through emails relatively quickly, then did some work on the blog.
I lay back down for a while and got a short nap in, and I felt much better after that. I killed time on social media and answered emails.
I checked COVID numbers. Cases were once again under 1,000. (Unfortunately, deaths were at 50 that day — and 107 the day before that.) Since the spike seems to be under control and we’re no longer a cautionary tale here in Arizona, I’ll mainly stop reporting the numbers unless deaths get crazy here.
Around 1 p.m. I sent a message to the 41 year old. He’s fun, but just not nearly as available as I’d like. (Or nearly as impressed with COVID as I’d like for that matter, but he was at least following protocol in that regard.) So that wasn’t going to work out.
A guy from a while ago had randomly said hello the day before — he’d been in contention with the 41 year old, in fact — and we had talked that morning about meeting later that day. Then he just didn’t respond to my afternoon messages. There’s something very wrong with men.
So I went back into OKCupid and answered some messages that had come in during the past month. And went through some guys who had liked my profile and left me a message, and I swiped on a few of them. So I ended up talking to four guys for a while.
One of the ones who seems promising is being pushy about meeting, so that’s a red flag. But I figured I’d see how it went. (Spoiler: It did not go well. Read the post I linked to above.)
The monthly auto-charge for my massage hit the card for $50
I called it a night at 9 p.m. and was asleep by 9:30.
Total spent: $50
I woke up reluctantly, but emails were quick to get through. So I did those and scheduled the social media posts for the day. Then did some blog work and scheduled Saturday’s post.
I lay down for about half an hour and got up feeling better. Most of the day was pretty quiet. I talked to three guys off and on during the day/evening.
I talked a bit with the guy from the day before. And with another guy — which quickly went off the rails (seriously, click that link earlier for some ridiculous stuff).
At 8 p.m. I got on a Zoom call with a few people from the trivia group, and we chatted for more than 3 hours. One of the guys is going to be on Jeopardy, which we’re all excited about.
I passed out sometime around midnight.
Total spent: $0
I woke up a little after 8 am. and spent around a freakin’ hour finally going through all the emails OKCupid sent me of its picks. I’d saved them as they came in while I was seeing the 41 year old (inasmuch as I actually saw him). I swiped right on a few and sent a quick message to them.
Then it was time to actually buckle down and work on the blog. I actually got a fair amount of work done, even with some messaging with dating app guys. One of the guys — a 23 year old PhD mechanical engineering student (yep, back to my old ways I guess?) — was saying he wanted to meet soon, so I suggested a video chat. He agreed, so I told him I’d message him after I got squared away with the blog.
I polished Monday’s post to where it wouldn’t need much more editing and got most of another post out. By the time I looked up, it’d been around three hours and I was very hungry.
I called in some takeout. I used the last of my gift card ($6.60, so that much went into Saved Savings) and paid $2.74 out of pocket plus $1 from my walking around money.
The car was on fumes, so I filled it up on the way home ($24.99).
I got home, ate and watched The Fall. Then I started talking to a 36 year old guy on the dating app. I felt a little fuzzy – so I was okay to text, where I could craft/edit responses before sending, but video chat seemed like a lot — so I just did that and watched TV hoping I’d feel better for a video chat.
Around 6 p.m. the PhD student messaged. I said I was sorry but I was a little weary and could we chat the next day? So we set up to chat the next day at 1 p.m.
And of course, shortly thereafter my head cleared. D’oh! But at that point, I’d already set up a time for the next day, and the student had a paper he was supposed to be working on anyway. So I decided to just wait til the next day.
I ended up video chatting with the 36 year old for three hours. At the end of the call, he said we could chat again if I wanted. Didn’t even suggest meeting. Sadly, this now qualifies as super hot. #COVIDdating
I went to bed and was asleep around 11:30 p.m.
Total spent: $35.33 ($34.33 out of weekly funds)
I didn’t want to wake up, but I did eventually force myself out of bed around 9 a.m. I chatted with a couple of people — including filling in two friends on a) the 36 year old and b) the idiot who texted during the call.
Then I sat down to work on the blog. I got Monday’s post polished and scheduled, then scheduled social media links for Monday too.
Around 11:30 a.m. I texted the 36 year old to say I had really enjoyed our chat and to let me know if he wanted to do it again in the coming week. Then I ran to the store. I didn’t need much, so it was only $15.92. This still necessitated starting a new financial week, but the previous one lasted 10 days, so spending was staying relatively low, which was nice.
I was supposed to have a video chat with a guy from the dating app at 1 p.m. But he messaged at 1 p.m. to say that his professor (he’s a PhD student) asked him to make last minute changes to a paper he’s trying to publish. They had to be done that day, so could we delay? Not much longer, maybe an hour or so.
I told him it was fine and to let me know in an hour where he was at progress-wise and whether he needed more time.
The 36 year old texted back that he’d enjoyed our chat too, and Tuesday or Wednesday would be good for him. So I said I’d check in on Tuesday and we could set up a time. Then I sent him a video of a baby armadillo playing with a dog toy, because I’d mentioned it in our chat and he’s a huge animal lover.
He replied that it was adorable (it really, really is) and he wanted one. At which point I explained that if he got one, I’d be at his place instantly but that I would definitely ignore him for the armadillo. He replied that he completely understood and would probably do the same. So at least we’re on the same page.
The PhD student didn’t text back until 6:45 p.m. Charming. He said he was finally done and he was so sorry and really did want to talk to me. I had just started eating dinner, so I suggested 8 p.m. He said that was great.
At 7:50 p.m. he texted to say he’d be 10-15 minutes late, since he was just making dinner. And he finally started the call at 8:30 p.m.
Clearly he’s not great at time management, and it was definitely an inauspicious beginning.
The call was okay. He’s nice enough and obviously intelligent. (He’s studying mechanical engineering.) But conversation was a little halting and didn’t flow as well as the one with the 36 year old.
I also found out he doesn’t have a car. Everything near ASU is very walkable, and parking was expensive, so he’d sold the one he had. Problem: Tempe is 20 miles away. He said he could Uber, but that would be $30+ each time. And I wanted someone I could see at least twice a week. So I decided to think about it, but honestly I couldn’t see how that would be tenable.
I called it a night around 9:30 p.m. and was asleep shortly after 10 p.m.
Total spent: $15.92
I woke up and got through emails pretty quickly. Then it was on to working on the dating post for later in the week, plus finishing and polishing another post that I’d already mostly written.
Other than that, there wasn’t much to do that day. I told two friends that I’d start working out on Tuesday — so that I had to be accountable. Because I really need to get back to exercising. It’s obviously good for my health — especially since I’m about seven pounds over my normal weight, which is about seven or eight pounds over my skinny weight — but it’s also good for my mental health. Not that my mental health was suffering overly, but a boost still never hurt.
I talked to a Twitter friend who is having cold/flu symptoms that OTC meds aren’t touching. She met someone from a dating site recently, so she was terrified it was COVID. The symptoms didn’t sound like it, but I understood her fear, especially since she was high risk.
She scheduled a COVID test for the following morning, and we talked about how a) this was probably just a bad cold and b) this wasn’t a condemnation from on high for her actions. But admittedly, I was a little nervous for her too. (Don’t worry folks, it wasn’t COVID, as it turns out.)
Somehow it was suddenly almost the end of my workday. Not sure how that happened, but I wasn’t complaining.
After work, I finished the last two episodes of The Fall, which was really quite good. Then I found out there was a new season of Lucifer and started that.
The night passed very, very quietly. I really wanted it to be Tuesday, so I could schedule my next chat with the 36 year old. I was eager to see if our second conversation was as good as the first. If so, I was thinking I might be ready to meet. But I had to see how it went. Which means the chat had to actually happen.
I finished up the junk food I’d gotten at the store to better concentrate on getting back to my diet. And I called it a night around 9:30 p.m. I was asleep around 10 p.m.
Total spent: $0
I got plenty of sleep, but I woke up begrudgingly. I think it’s just generally getting up to an alarm clock instead of being allowed to wake up naturally. Whatever the reason, it always sucks.
I had a bunch of Twitter notifications. I’d commented on some Twitter Reddit threads (Reddit.relationships and AITA — both highly entertaining, by the way), and one of the comments was pretty popular.
I had an angry customer as my first email, which sucked and required a carefully crafted email. So it took about 15-20 minutes to get right. But otherwise I got through emails pretty quickly. So it was back to getting the dating post/other post worked on.
Around noon, I texted the 36 year old and told him to let me know whether that day or Wednesday worked better for another chat and what time he was thinking.
I texted the 23 year old to say that I just didn’t see how he and I were tenable, since he didn’t have a car because it would make me uncomfortable to know he was spending that much on Uber to see me, given that I want to see whoever I choose at least twice a week.
He offered a couple of solutions, including that I could always come pick him up if I were okay with it. I told him that driving takes it out of me, and that would be a total of 80 miles per visit (20 to get him, 20 back to my place, 20 to drop him off, 20 back to my place).
So then he insisted that he didn’t mind the expense of the Uber. I told him I’d think about it some more.
The workday was pretty quiet. The only thing of note was that I was on hold with Bank of America for an hour and 40 minutes to pay my mortgage. Ever since taking Tim off the mortgage, I can’t pay online. And the automated system (as best I could tell, since I didn’t go through the process all the way) doesn’t give you the option to add additional principal to your payment.
This means I have to talk to a representative every time, and hold times are outrageous right now. I could also drop off the payment in person, but I try not to go into buildings unnecessarily these days. Still, I got to make a huge payment. Yay!
A couple of hours after we talked, the 23 year old texted back to see if I’d made a decision. I told him I’d meant give me a couple to a few days to think about it. He was disappointed — he was hoping to meet soon — but said okay.
Shortly after that, the 36 year old texted back that that night would be good, and he was thinking 9 or 10 p.m. I’m usually in bed by 9:30., 10 at the latest. So I said 9 p.m. and decided it would just have to be a shorter call than our first one.
Right before I got off work, the 23 year old texted again. He complained about being, um, antsy. I told him I didn’t know what to tell him (I mean, I’m 20 miles away and also was still thinking about whether meeting him was a good idea). He clarified that he’d been hoping to sext. That had not been clear. Nor was it something I wanted to do at 3 p.m. on a Tuesday.
I told him I was finishing up work, had to work out and then was probably going to take a nap, so no I wasn’t into it. Plus, I added silently, I actually need time to think so good lord give me some space, man!
After work, I did my first workout in at least six weeks. Even going with a shorter video, I was pooped afterward. Reentry is not going to be a fun process.
I caught up with a friend (via messaging) after the workout. And guess who texted again? Yep, the 23 year old. Eesh.
He said he felt like I was a bit put off and he wanted to know how I felt. I wasn’t sure how to formulate how I was feeling, so I told him I was messaging with a friend who needed to vent (which was true) and would get back to him a in bit.
My friend did do some venting, but I caught her up on the 23 year old’s antics too. She pointed out that I had no responsibility to govern how he spent his money. “So let him pay to sex you up! Wait…”
I got back over to the 23 year old. I said yes, I’d been a little put off because he caught me at a bad time but also I felt like he was pressuring me. And I don’t do well with that.
He apologized and admitted he was a little anxious after the earlier conversation because he really liked me. But he agreed to tone it down a bit.
At that point, it was 5:30 p.m., so a nap was out of the question. Instead, I just rested for a while so I wouldn’t be completely dead for the video chat. I also took an extra energy med around 7 p.m. At 8 p.m. I took a shower, did my hair and put on a little makeup so that I’d be presentable.
Despite my intention to make it a short talk, the 36 year old and I ended up chatting until 1:30 a.m. Eesh.
I fell asleep around 2 a.m.
Total spent: $0
I was less than thrilled to wake up. Also, I’d gotten a slightly confusing text from the 36 year old to a goodnight text I’d sent. During the second video chat, we had talked about meeting. Since he was an animal lover, a lot of it was joking that he’d ignore me for/try to steal the cat. And we joked about staying 150 feet apart during the visit. But a visit was discussed.
So the text saying that we could save a particular topic (I’d mentioned one in my last message) for our next chat struck me as strange. I sent back a reply saying oh, were we having another chat? That I’d thought he was coming over to ignore me for the cat, but that if he preferred another call that was okay and I was flexible.
Obviously, I liked that he wasn’t pushing to meet and was being careful. But… I felt like after 7.5 hours of chatting I trusted that he was staying safe and probably a good fit.
I went to the computer and got through emails, scheduled the next day’s post, talked to my friends a bit about how the video chat went and paid my city services bill ($60).
Then I crawled back into bed.
I woke up feeling much better if still slightly weary. I caught back up on the emails that had come in, then dropped off a prescription at CVS. Since I was out, I picked up some takeout ($9.34 plus a $1 tip from my walking around money).
Other than that, the day was pretty quiet. Including on the text front. The guy normally texted back after a couple to a few hours but… silence. I had a bad feeling I was getting ghosted.
I tried to distract myself with work, the blog and social media. By the end of the workday, the effects of the nap had worn off and I felt terrible. So I spent the night watching TV in bed.
Sleep deprivation was still leading to cravings, so I ate corn chips for dinner, followed by Swedish fish. Corn is a vegetable, and fish is a protein. So I maintain this was a very healthy combination.
I started getting ready for bed at 8 p.m. and was asleep by 9 p.m. Without a reply from the 36 year old. Ugh.
Total spent: $69.34
Total spent: $170.59 ($169.59 out of weekly funds)
Another pretty low-spend week — especially since $60 of the total was for a utility bill. I guess the pandemic is at least keeping my spending in check. But I miss being able to have a social life and see friends — and yeah, dates — in person without risk. But hey just another… year of this probably? Hopefully? I’m gonna go eat some chocolate or something.
How did everyone else’s week go?