These spending diaries are a way for me to be more cognizant of my spending. They’re also a peek into my daily life for those who care.
For those who are new, my style of “spending” is a little convoluted. I have two checking accounts. I keep the majority of my money in the secondary account, transferring $280 a week into the main account. But I charge everything to the card to maximize rewards. As charges accrue, I transfer money out of the main account into the secondary one. Then I make a weekly payment on my credit card.
A tad confusing, perhaps, but it works for me. Anyway, here’s how spending went this week. (Warning, a lot of dating-related back and forth, so this is a long one, folks.)
I woke up slightly before my alarm, which usually means I feel better rested.
I got up and go through emails pretty quickly. The 26 year old texted to say good morning and that he was feeling well. I said I’d have to see how I felt after my 37-mile drive to my breathing test.
A makeup brand I really like sucked me in with the lure of a sale up to 70% off. Damn you, professional marketers!
I messaged a friend about my dilemma. She encouraged me to spend a bit on myself. Not helpful.
Also, she was annoyed because a lip color she really loved there was only $8, but she’d have had to pay for shipping. I told her that if I ended up placing an order, I’d just add it and drop it off at her house (1.5 miles from me) when it came.
I hadn’t gotten a confirmation call about my breathing test, so once the pulmonologist’s office opened, I called to confirm. I wasn’t about to drive nearly 40 miles only to find out I had the wrong day.
I headed out at 10:30 a.m. The test wasn’t too bad, but the nebulizing treatment made me lightheaded and a tad shaky.
The good news: I don’t have asthma. The bad news: They have no idea why I still feel slightly breathless many days. They said they’d schedule a cardiopulmonary test and call when it was arranged.
I headed home — driving while lightheaded was greeeaaat — and then caught up on emails. The 26 year old texted to see how I was feeling. I told him that the lightheadedness was wearing off and I seemed to be okay but would keep him updated.
I looked more at the makeup sale. Even paring the cart down, it was… not cheap. Specifically, I got six items for $77, plus my friend’s $8 item plus tax. So the total was $92.32 after tax. I don’t amounts larger than $70 out of weekly spending, so nothing came out of the account.
I decided I’d better clean out my makeup box a bit to make room for the new goodies. So I messaged my cousin to see if her daughter (the one I’m saving for) would want some items that were fine but just hadn’t gotten use.
Later I texted the 26 year old say all signs were positive, but just in case I would lie down after work to conserve energy, since he couldn’t come over til about 9:30 p.m.
My friend Jen and I finished Dirty John via Netflix party, then watched the first episode of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend because she apparently hadn’t seen the show.
Right as I was getting ready to jump in the shower — about an hour before the 26 year old was due — he texted to say he was getting ready and that a childhood friend was stopping by. He told me it wouldn’t be a long visit. I told him to text me when he left.
At 9:30 p.m. I still hadn’t gotten a text, so I sent him one asking if he was getting ready to leave. He said that he had been but he was really enjoying chatting with his friend because he hadn’t seen the guy in ages and wasn’t, as he put it, “in a rush to leave.”
I was incredibly pissed, but I managed a relatively calm text asking if he had a time frame in mind when they’d be done and saying that I understood that friends were important, but that we had had plans — ones building for a few weeks at that point — so I hoped he could see why that response was rather frustrating.
He said he of course understood and thought he’d be available around 10:30 p.m. I talked to Jen debating whether to even agree. On the one hand, I did finally want to meet, but on the other I didn’t want to encourage bad behavior.
By the time we’d talked through it, it was nearly 10:30, so I figured I’d just see what he said and go from there. Suffice it say, my next text was “Yeah it’s 10:53 p.m. Good night.”
I went to bed incredibly pissed, which means it took a while to calm down enough to fall asleep. And in the middle of the night I woke up, remembered everything that happened and got pissed all over again. So it took probably 40 minutes to fall back to sleep.
I’d say this is the problem with young guys, but frankly I could see a guy of any age pulling this thoughtless crap.
Total spent: $92.62 ($0 out of weekly funds)
I was very unhappy when the alarm went off. I checked my phone and at midnight — midnight — the 26 year old had texted that I had every right to be mad (so kind of him to understand grrrr) and that he just hadn’t seen the guy in a while. He understood that I was upset and he was sorry.
I didn’t even bother replying because I was pissed all over again.
I spent the morning answering emails, being exhausted and talking to friends about diving back into the dating apps and whether there was anything the 26 year old could do to fix things.
I tried lying down to take a nap, but every time I closed my eyes I just started working on the text I was going to send him to explain just why what he did was so messed up. So I gave up on sleep and picked up some medication from CVS ($15) plus takeout ($9.34 plus $1 walking around money).
I’d hoped food would help my energy levels, but it didn’t. So I once again attempted to lie down. But I still kept composing my text in my head. So I sighed, got the phone and texted him.
He texted back a bit later saying that I was right and he wasn’t there to argue with my feelings or observations about his behavior or make excuses. I thanked him for acknowledging that, but I still didn’t know what to do with that. I told him I’d think about it — when I wasn’t exhausted.
At 3 p.m. I left for my beauty service. I stopped at the bank and got $40 cash for that plus $20 so I could tip the masseuse on Monday.
I came home utterly exhausted. I messaged with some friends then sighed deeply and jumped on the dating app. I figured I should see what my options were. (Or I figured they’d be so horrible that they’d make me decide to definitely give him another shot.)
I talked to a few guys who seem okay. Nothing immediately amazing, but they were cute and seemed able to hold a conversation.
Otherwise, I just watched TV and lay on the bed and waited for it to be a reasonable hour to sleep.
I started getting ready for bed at 9 p.m. and was asleep well before 10 p.m.
Total spent: $84.34
I woke up around 8 a.m. I chatted with friends. Then I started the Roomba and scooped the litterbox. Man, my Saturdays are exciting.
At 10 a.m., I FaceTimed with Mom for almost two hours.
Shortly after I hung up with her, I texted the 26 year old saying I had slept so I could finally think straight and would do so that day. If I decided I were amenable to meeting, was his schedule still the same?
Then I got on the dating app and chatted with some of the guys from the previous night (also doing a little swiping) and messaged with a couple of friends.
At 3 p.m. I sucked it up and worked out. Ugh.
Then I went back to the app and started swiping. I have never swiped left so much on an app. Normally, there are plenty of good options, but nearly every guy I saw was just not my type. Eesh.
Perhaps because of this, I decided I’d probably give the 26 year old another chance — but that I’d also keep looking because it seemed the universe was against our actually meeting.
At 6 p.m. he still hadn’t texted back. So he might’ve been busy, down with another migraine or my “reconsidering” made him lose interest. In which case, I knew logically it was good riddance since he’d royally screwed up. But still… C’mon universe!
So I kept swiping. Over the course of at least an hour, I think I found maybe eight profiles actually worth swiping right on. I started lingering on profiles even longer, thinking maybe I was just being even more picky than usual. But in every case, even debating back and forth for a while, I’d end up swiping left. Yikes.
Around 7:30 p.m. Jen and I were going to use Netflix Party, but I was spiraling in self-doubt of my choices and the chances of my finding someone through the app. So she got on the phone with me instead. We chatted about that, then just traded dating history anecdotes.
It was around 10:30 p.m. when I went to bed and I fell asleep around 11 p.m. Still no reply from the 26 year old. Okay, fine, universe. I get it. Argh.
Bright side: I both worked out and stuck to my diet.
Total spent: $0
The cat woke me up crying at 7:15 a.m. I dozed for another half hour until I heard my phone buzz multiple times. But it was just Twitter.
The Netflix charge ($14.11) hit my card.
I went out to the living room and settled in to write Monday’s post. Thankfully, that didn’t take too long, but then I was staring down many, many hours of nothing to do except swipe on the app and wait to see if the 26 year old would text or was really ghosting.
At 11 a.m. I hadn’t received any message. I sent a follow-up text saying that I hoped his silence didn’t mean he’d been hit with another migraine, though I didn’t love the alternative implication. So I would leave it at him just letting me know if he were still interested. If not, darn because it would’ve been fun and I had enjoyed talking to him, but I wished him good luck in his various projects.
And then I sighed deeply and went back to the app.
I matched with a few guys. And I chatted with a couple of guys from the night before.
One suggested a video chat, which was a nice change of pace from most guys’ “What are you doing tonight?” I told him I had to work out, then rest a bit, then make myself presentable.
I worked out, which did help my mood (after I’d stopped suffering the actual exercise), so that was nice.
Due to various factors on his end, the video chat with the dating app guy didn’t start until a little after 8 p.m. But the chat itself went well.
After we’d been chatting for a while, he checked the time, and somehow it was 11:30 p.m. So we both said goodnight and scurried off to bed. I was asleep before midnight.
Total spent: $14.11
I got up very unhappily, but the email load was light at least.
I texted the video chat guy (we’ll call him the 35 year old) and said I enjoyed our chat and I hoped he wasn’t too exhausted. He replied that he enjoyed it too. And yes, he was exhausted.
We chatted a bit more and agreed we should do another video chat soon.
I checked the blog briefly and messaged a couple of friends. One was to remind a friend that she wanted to look up couples counselors. The other was to vent about her own dating app guy issues. (Fellas, friendly tip: If you’re talking to a non-Caucasian woman, do not ask where she’s from “originally.” Ugh!)
I messaged with a friend and chatted with the video chat guy and another guy from the dating app a little bit. The video chat guy sent me a pic that, um, nicely showcased all of his hard work at the gym. So I felt a little less sad about the 26 year old.
Suddenly, it was noon. So I decided to forgo the nap and just take my energy med.
Then the 26 year old texted. Apparently, he’d been helping his parents all weekend and had barely checked his phone. (But like… did he really not check his phone at all on Sunday? Because otherwise he’d have seen my Saturday and maybe my Sunday text.) He said he was still very interested in meeting and apologized for everything being so much crazier than normal lately.
I asked him if he still thought he’d be as available as he thought, and he said yes. So I asked him what his schedule was. But I stayed firm in my resolve to keep talking to the dating app guys until the 26 year old and I had actually met in person.
After work, I went out for my massage and tipped $15 out of my walking around money. Then I swung by the grocery store on the way home because I was getting low on frozen meals.
I also got a block of cheese for cheese and crackers, but it was a farewell meal. My cholesterol is apparently out of control, so I need to making cheese a very rare part of my diet.
The total was $13.90 and $4.74 in saved savings from coupons and sales.
I got home and let the 35 year old know that, since he goes to bed pretty early and I still had to eat and would’ve had to make myself presentable for a video chat, it was best if we did the Zoom thing the following day.
I’d just finished eating when a friend called and we chatted for around an hour. During that time, the 26 year old texted back and apologized for the delay in response. He’d been contacted by his former weekend job, which was starting again, and he was really conflicted. He needs the money, but as he put it “I don’t want to die.” This society has put people in such a great position. Sigh.
Between that and a roommate who works outside the house, his exposure levels would be too high for my comfort. So we left it at “Let’s meet up after the pandemic because you seem like a lot of fun.”
I messaged a bit more with friends and watched another episode of TV, and I was in bed and asleep around 9 p.m.
Total spent: $33.64 ($18.64 out of weekly funds)
I woke up and got through emails as quickly as possible because I needed to drop the car off for the repairs. Thankfully, it’s only a 0.9 mile walk away, so no need to get an Uber or be driven home by someone from the shop.
I answered the emails that came in while I was gone, fielded several more that came in and then messaged a couple of people. The 35 year old said he was excited that I was being so careful. So yet another point in his favor. He also sent me a pic from his gym, and everyone was masked and very well spaced out, which was a relief to see.
I putzed around for most of the day. Given that I had to walk back to the mechanic (in 100-degree heat) I opted not to work out, just to make sure my legs didn’t get wobbly.
At 4:30 p.m. I headed out to pick up my car. I’ve definitely been here too long because the walk wasn’t all that bad, even at 100 degrees.
The car had just been finished when I got there, and I paid $795.46 for the oil change, new front brakes and rear shocks. A bit painful but the car hasn’t cost me anything in around 18 months, which is pretty good for an eight-year-old vehicle.
I came right back home, ate and jumped in the shower. The video chat with the 35 year old started around 6:15 p.m. and we hung up at 9:30 p.m.
I was asleep around 11 p.m.
Total spent: $795.46 ($0 out of weekly funds)
I got up and got through emails quickly. Then I did some work on the blog. The post took quite a while, so I still wasn’t quite finished editing when I had to leave at 12:30 for my optometrist appointment.
After a lengthy wait, the optometrist was ready to see me, but when we settled into the room, I had to ask him to pull his mask up over his nose. He didn’t even apologize. Just pulled it up and turned to the computer. Especially baffling since they had made me wait at the door to get my temperature taken.
There was also confusion because he wrote me a prescription for soft lenses, despite my telling him I had rigid gas permeable lenses (and he made a note right after I said that). When I corrected the assistant, she consulted with him and came back asking me to get my old optometrist to fax my previous prescription. Uh, does the doctor not know how to write an RGP prescription on his own?
I didn’t get out the door until 90 minutes after my appointment time, which was nearly quitting time. Thankfully, I cleaned out the emails quickly.
I texted some with the 35 year old and some friends, and I put the finishing touches on my post.
I have been missing this barbecue restaurant’s food — especially its mashed potatoes and mac & cheese. The cornbread is amazing too. So I called in an order, but sides could only be purchased by the pint. Yikes.
The two sides (and I had them throw in some cornbread, but that was free) were $20.09 after tax, plus a $3 tip. But totally worth it because the food was delicious. But I only managed about half of each side.
And I told myself that this was my farewell to cheese as a regular part of my diet. Since that was supposed to be, uh, Monday. Oops.
At 7 p.m. the 35 year old suggested another video chat, so we did that until almost 9 p.m. We’re planning on seeing each other Saturday or Sunday.
I was in bed by 9:30 p.m. but it took me a while to fall asleep.
Total spent: $23.09
Total spent: $1,043.26 ($140.18 out of weekly funds)
Okay, well the overall total is obviously painful. But car repairs do eventually happen, and the occasional splurge — even on something as silly as makeup in a pandemic — is okay. And otherwise my spending was incredibly low for the week. So we’ll call this a semi-win.
How did everyone else’s week go?