Okay, so… I’m completely scattered.
I’ve been meaning to focus more on the blog, then last weekend had no Internet service. (Whee.) So I couldn’t do much there. (I don’t like typing in Word, and also I was stressed out from no Internet service and was therefore scattered yet more.)
Part of the craziness is due to being able to go out again. Much as my budget hates the expense, it’s glorious to be around friends again and have the option to do MeetUp groups again.
Also, I am getting back into the routine of working out. Two sessions with my personal trainer each week than three or four days of cardio. This past week I did a class called Aqua Zumba which was fun but thoroughly kicked my ass.
Another facet of the craziness is my throwing myself back into dating apps. Since I’ve chosen poorly in the past, I’m trying not to eliminate anyone too quickly. Thus I’m giving a chance to any vaccinated guy who I think I might reasonably be attracted to/have enough in common with and who doesn’t get gross/creepy.
That is still a depressingly low number. And it doesn’t help that around 1/3 of the profiles I’m being shown are 30-60 miles away, and my limit is set to 25. So with all of the left-swiping, I’m increasingly convinced I’m going to die alone.
But I’ve chatted up as many guys as I can reasonably find. Which has kept me busy. And even gone on three dates. None exciting enough to reproduce but that’s a store for another day.
And the final bit of craziness is Aaron.
Being friends did not work. We slipped back into, ahem, old habits the one time we tried to hang out in person. Video calls were mostly us talking about missing each other or how hard it was.
He was even trying to be supportive about my dating and, on the occasions I said we had to stop dwelling on something that wouldn’t work, would say OK he’d get over me. Both of which hurt in their own right because it felt like he didn’t care.
So as of Friday evening, we agreed to cut contact. Which also hurt and continues to sting some. But I have to protect my mental health and not sit around indulging the part of my brain that watched too many rom-coms and is convinced he’ll come to his senses and prioritize me better.
Between that and then a friend having a thoroughly crappy time with her ex, I went out both Friday and Saturday and stayed up quite late.
So I am at a dearth of ideas of what to write about — I have to recap my spending for my last fiscal month, but I didn’t want to do it sandwiched between two weekly spending diaries — except that I am just frazzled emotionally and somewhat physically.
I am hoping to work on getting back into the swing of things soon. Technically, I do have a couple ideas of things to write about, but I just can’t handle the thought of tackling them quite yet. But I want to get back to my old schedule and just putting out stuff of substance. (And as I collect them, some posts about dating app life that are, as my friend Leila would say, hahasob.)
But that day will not be today, Sunday, as I write this while desperately needing a nap and feeling at sea.
So instead why don’t you tell me how your lives are going? If you’re vaccinated:
- What activities have you resumed?
- What do you still not feel okay about?
- Are you planning any travel this year?
- How’s mask-wearing going where you are? (Fun fact: Other than retail/grocery stores, they’re increasingly rare here in Phoenix — despite only 30.8% of people vaccinated in the county.)