For those who are new, my style of “spending” is a little convoluted. I have two checking accounts. I keep the majority of my money in the secondary account, transferring $250 a week into the main account. But I charge everything to the card to maximize rewards. As charges accrue, I transfer money out of the main account into the secondary one. Then I make a weekly payment on my credit card.
A tad confusing, perhaps, but it works for me. Anyway, here’s how spending went this week.
I woke up actually feeling pretty good.
I got caught up on work, but it kept dribbling in while I was trying to balance social media and dating app guys. Customers are so rude!
I started a load of laundry ($3.50 to the Washer/Dryer fund).
I figured out my finances for the coming month and paid all my credit cards, plus I set up the contribution to my SEP-IRA. I’m such an adult!
Throughout the day, I chatted with some dating app guys and scrolled more profiles. All the guys my age look so old! And very few take care of themselves. And quite a few seem to smoke a lot of pot. Eesh. (I don’t have an issue with pot, incidentally. I have an issue with seeing someone who wants to be altered most of the time. I wouldn’t want to see someone who drinks every day either.)
I finished out the day, then went to work out before trivia. I once again managed 30 minutes on the elliptical and a five-minute cooldown. Woot! Except now this means I have to fulfill my vow to go back to the weight machines soon. Oy. At least I’ll be around buff guys?
I started feeling really woozy on the drive home and couldn’t figure out why. Then I realized I hadn’t had a snack before the gym. So I’d been up for 10 hours, eaten 800 calories and burned around 275 on the elliptical. Oops.
I came home, had some peanut butter to fortify me, got ready and left for trivia. When I got there, I ordered a sandwich and a brownie — the brownies there are huge and amazing — for $20.29 after tax and tip). We ended up winning trivia, and we sat around chatting afterward for 20 or 30 minutes.
As a result, I didn’t get home til about 10 p.m. and when I got into bed half an hour later, I made the mistake of deciding to go through a couple of profiles. Suddenly it was past midnight. Argh!
I fell asleep around 12:30 a.m.
Total spent: $20.29
I stumbled out of bed and got through emails. But my computer was being even worse than usual — it took 20 minutes for me to finish creating and scheduling a single Facebook post because the page kept taking so long to load — so I spent a fair amount of the time yelling at my computer. Ugh.
I crawled back into bed, but I couldn’t get to sleep. Sigh.
I had a MeetUp event that night for singles that I wanted to go to and a pool party the next day. So it was very stupid for me to have stayed up so late.
At least resting helped a bit.
The rest of the day passed… not too quickly but not painfully slowly either. And after work, I had my video session with Elston, my personal trainer. After that, I rested for a little bit, then got ready and went to Scottsdale for the singles event.
I got there a bit later than planned — around 7:45 p.m. and it had started at 7 p.m. There were a fair number of people there, but at least we were all outside, I guess? And chatting in small groups.
I chatted with one cute guy, but someone I knew from another MeetUp group showed up. So I chatted with her a fair amount too. I bought one well drink — which was on special for $8, welcome to Scottsdale — and spent $9.96 after tax and tip.
We moved locations, but not too long after we had setteld at a table (and I had ordered food), we were told the table had been sold to someone else. And none of us were about to pay multiple hundreds of dollars (!) to sit at a table.
We settled somewhere else, but we were quickly told that was reserved too. The organizer asked if we could just sit there til the customers arrived. The server said no (because of course not, sheesh).
We got up and he looked around a bit, and the server said all the tables were reserved. At which point he asked where we could sit then. She reiterated (slightly annoyed but not that brusquely) that, as she had said, all of the tables were taken. We would have to stand if we wanted to stay. After she left, he turned to us and said, “Well, she was rude.”
Men are great.
I looked around for the server I had ordered from but didn’t see her. I wanted to cancel my order. Unfortunately, I was only able to flag a server down several minutes later, and at that point my food was ready. So I ate what I could standing up. I paid $14.40 after tip. It was good, but actually too much food, so a lot of fries and one chicken tender got left and we went somewhere where we could actually sit.
The gal I had already known had been chatting with some guys, so we all sat around a table (yay for sitting! it had been a squats/lunges day). Around 12:30 a.m. some of the folks wanted tacos. I wasn’t hungry of course, but they were good company. So we went to the place they wanted, except it was a pop-up store. No seating. Sigh.
I called it a night around 1 a.m. and got home half an hour later. But I couldn’t fall asleep until almost 3 a.m. Ugh.
Total spent: $24.36
I woke up around 10:30 a.m. — which wasn’t enough sleep and I had a long day ahead of me. Argh.
I ran to Safeway to pick up a prescription for $42.55. While I was there, I bought a $5 cake and some big bags of candy ($17.28) to bring with me to the pool party. I figured people usually bring chips or sides but no dessert.
I came home and lay down a bit to rest up for the getting-ready process. I also went into mom-mode and packed just about every conceivable thing I could need: phone cord and cube, ibuprofen (since my legs were sore), deodorant in case mine washed off in the pool, makeup to touch up if I got splashed in the pool, a brush, sunscreen, bug spray and of course my swimsuit and a towel.
I got there around 3 p.m. and had fun chatting with people. I got in the pool for maybe 20 minutes, but I was paranoid about getting burned — especially because I’d forgotten to put on sunscreen before my makeup.
So after that I stayed in the shade. Some more folks showed up, and I was feeling woozy — either from heat or from being tired — so I grabbed some water and sat inside listening to karaoke.
I had fun, but I was pretty exhausted by 7ish. I lay down in what the host called “the lounge” — which had some spots to lie down and rest and watch TV if you so chose — but I eventually had to admit that my energy wasn’t coming back.
I drove home — concentrating very hard — and was back a bit before 9 p.m. But I wasn’t ready to sleep, just needed to lie around, so I did some swiping on OKCupid, chatted with some matches I already had, used my new massage gun on my sore muscles and finally made myself go to sleep around 12:30 a.m.
Total spent: $59.83
I woke up at 10 a.m. feeling halfway human. I got up, chatted with some friends and some dating app dudes a bit, then wrote up the next day’s post. Since I was stopping to chat, I didn’t finish until 1:30 p.m. Argh.
I lay down for a little bit to see if I could work up the energy to work out. Five minutes in, I knew I was toast.
I lay around and rested and chatted with dating app guys until about 5 p.m. when I remembered I had to pick up a prescription. Also, I was hungry and wanted nothing that was already in the house.
But when I got to Fry’s, it turns out the pharmacy there closes at 5 p.m. I missed it by four minutes. Gah!
I bought $13.27 of food, then went home, ate and lay in bed until actual bedtime. I was ready for bed at 10 p.m. but got into texting with a friend and suddenly it was 11 p.m. At least I fell asleep almost immediately.
Total spent: $13.27
I was incredibly groggy, but got through emails pretty quickly. However, I had a bunch of catching up to do from the weekend with the other part of my job, and some emails did come in while I was trying to do that. So I didn’t really completely get caught up until 12:30 p.m.
The rest of the day passed pretty quickly, and I survived my personal training session, even though Elston made me do squats and some lunges. Grumble grumble.
I rested for a bit and then headed back out to Fry’s where I got $10.80 of food and picked up the prescription ($26.68). I came home, ate and watched TV.
Aaron called around 7:30 to catch up, since we’re trying to be friends. We talked for about an hour and in it, he made multiple references that showed he was struggling to accept the change in our situation. This wasn’t great because it made me sad that we couldn’t work out.
After we hung up, I messaged a couple of friends about it and then sent him a long message basically saying, “I’m glad you’re not completely okay with us not seeing each other romantically — because that would hurt — but you can’t keep talking about how it’s hard for you. You could have reprioritized, but your feelings for me rank lower than your personal growth goals. And I’ve accepted, but it means you don’t get to tell me how hard the consequences of that are because it just makes me upset. So you can either change your priorities and we can talk, or you need to talk to other friends about any adjustment difficulties.”
I spent so long wording and editing it that it was midnight before I fell asleep. Ugh.
Total spent: $37.48
I woke up and got through emails, then left for my psychiatrist appointment. We agreed that, now that I can socialize, I’m doing okay and don’t need to adjust my meds. So I just have to see him again in three months. The copay was $25.
Aaron messaged, observing that I had been up late (based on when I sent the message). I said yeah, I had a lot to say. And asked if he got through my message okay. (He hates reading long messages.)
A couple hours later he answered and said he understood but he needed to think about the answers. Which… I hadn’t asked any? So I guess this meant he was thinking about whether he could reprioritize? This completely unsettled me, as I has considered the matter decided.
I finished up the workday, including setting up a date for the following day. I wasn’t sure he was a good fit, but I figured I’d give him a chance in person.
After work, I worked out and then came home and had to immediately get ready for trivia.
Unfortunately, we came in fourth, so no bar cash was won. I ordered food, so I paid $18.64 after tax and tip. At the very end of the trivia, Aaron messaged to see if I was asleep yet.
I said I was just finishing up trivia and would be back home in about 20 minutes. I was not looking forward to the conversation, but I figured at least we could settle the matter for sure.
I left as soon as I paid the bill and called him as soon as I got home. Aaaaaand he just wanted to say goodnight.
No jury in the world would convict me, right?
I grumbled to some friends and talked to a new dating app guy.
I fell asleep around 11 p.m.
Total spent: $41.84
It took me a while to get caught up at work, then chatted with friends/played on social media.
I got through the workday and worked out, then came home and showered and went to my massage. I spent $15 cash for the tip, but I’ve already counted that in a previous spending diary when I withdrew it from the bank. So it won’t be counted here.
After my massage, I dropped by Fry’s because cherries were on sale. I also got a couple of Cadbury chocolate bars because I was running low. When I’m sticking to my diet, I eat a third of a bar for dessert. The total was $7.22.
I came home and watched TV for a bit, then got ready for my date — which didn’t start until 8, ugh. Mid-preparation, I asked my group if we were really going to just start at our 9:15 p.m. bar reservation Friday. I said I knew we shouldn’t drink too much beforehand, but it seemed like a late start.
My very close friend shot back that if I wasn’t up to drinking at that hour, maybe I should sit it out because the immersive bar experience was cool but the whole point was to drink.
Um, I’m familiar with the concept of a bar?
Also, I stay out with them far later than that all of the time. Also also, I feel like saying I knew “we shouldn’t drink too much beforehand” — especially the word “beforehand” — should have conveyed that I was asking about doing something ahead of the reservation, then going to the bar.
I clarified in the chat that I meant I thought we should start earlier. She didn’t reply (she later said she’d turned her phone off for the night), so I was just left stewing.
I finally shot her a private message that I understood the point was to drink and reminded her that I’d been to this company’s first immersive bar two years ago whereas hers had been the previous weekend. So yes, I got the concept.
I added that I didn’t appreciate being told to abdicate jut because I voiced a concern — even if it had been what she apparently took my comment to mean — and that I’m doing my best to roll with the punches as she navigates a messy, difficult breakup. (The day I reactivated my dating app profile, she said she couldn’t hear about dating app stuff. Good or bad. So… presumably also not about how my actual first few dates went? And there had been one other last-minute boundary she created about a different subject that had left me bewildered.). So I told her I really didn’t feel like I deserved that.
I was getting ready for date in and amongst all this, and just as I was finishing up, the guy texted to let me know he’d just gotten back from his kids’ practice and was waiting for their mom to pick them up. He said it should be soon, but asked how late I’d be willing to start.
Ugh, this is why I had stopped agreeing to late weeknight dates pre-pandemic. The guy is almost always doing something right up until that time, and it almost inevitably runs over.
This was especially frustrating because I hadn’t even been all that excited about this date!
But I had already gotten ready, so I said we’d play it by ear and just sat at the dining table — I was wearing black and those chairs are the only ones that wouldn’t get cat hair on me — and swiped on the app and chatted a bit. At 9:30 p.m. I called it.
Unfortunately, being grumpy and annoyed keeps me peppy, so I wasn’t able to going to bed right away. I did lie down and play more on the phone. But I didn’t actually get to sleep until about midnight.
Total spent: $7.22
Total spent: $204.29
Not the most frugal week — though much better than a lot of my recent ones. But 46% of the spending was on medical expenses. So not quite as bad as it seems. Almost all of the rest was going out stuff, mind you, but it’s in the budget. So it’s not like I’m running financially amok.