Of clothes, dating frustration & far too much takeout: A spending diary

I’ve had a couple readers check in on me. So let me assure you that I am alive, and this is still an active site. But as I mentioned in last week’s spending diary, I’m struggling.

I know there are things I need to do. And I know there are posts I theoretically want to write. But every time I think of the things, I just feel blah.

I’m not sure it’s just spring fever or depression symptoms. So I’m going to try buckling down this coming week. If I genuinely try and still struggle, that will be useful information for when I see my med management doctor on the 3rd.

In other words, things may remain a bit sporadic for a bit, but I’m alive and still intending on blogging. So I appreciate everyone who is bearing with me.

Anyhoo…

For those who are new, my style of “spending” is a little convoluted. I have two checking accounts. I keep the majority of my money in the secondary account, transferring $240 a week into the main account. But I charge everything to the card to maximize rewards. As charges accrue, I transfer money out of the main account into the secondary one. Then I make a weekly payment on my credit card.

A tad confusing, perhaps, but it works for me. Anyway, here’s how spending went this week.

Thursday

I woke up feeling very, very well-rested after passing out so early Wednesday night (due to bad sleep on Tuesday).

I started some laundry — two loads so $7 to the Washer/Dryer fund — and caught up on work.

I texted Mesa Guy (MG) to see what time he wanted to come over. He replied not too long after suggesting 7. Which would give me plenty of time to tidy up before having to make myself presentable.

I ran the Roomba and played on my phone a bit. Rock Climbing Guy (RCG) texted to say hey.

I was frustrated that I hadn’t heard back from Movie Buff Guy (MBG). We had talked on Sunday about him maybe joining trivia Wednesday. On Tuesday, I’d texted to say that trivia might not happen but I’d still like to see him if he felt up to doing something. I also asked whether he had Sunday free.

We’d agreed to see each other on Saturdays, but RCG wasn’t available Friday and Sunday was a slight question mark. So I wanted to see if we could switch.

When I hadn’t heard back, on Wednesday — in fact, my text hadn’t even been opened, and he couldn’t have seen the full thing on the lock screen — I texted him again. I said I wasn’t feeling well, so hanging out wasn’t a good idea; but I asked again about switching to Sunday. And I still hadn’t heard back. Not cool.

I relaxed most of the rest of the workday and tidied up a bit after that.

MG showed up around 7:30 p.m. and we had a good time chatting and such. But it was a weeknight, so he took off around 10:30 p.m. which is still late for me.

I checked again before bed. My second text to MBG was also still unopened. Grrrrr.

Total spent: $0

Friday

I woke up and got through emails relatively quickly.

I still hadn’t heard from MBG (double grrrr), so I sent a text saying that I assumed the silence meant a crazy week and asked if I should even plan on seeing him the next day. He got back to me a couple of hours later saying yes, sorry, and he was still planning on seeing me Saturday night.

Toward the end of my workday, I was hungry — but not for anything in my house. I wanted to save energy to tackle the shower that evening, and UberEats had a 40% off $30+ promotion. So I got three entrees. With fees and tip, it was $38.78. So at least I was set for food for a while.

I had to demolish some drywall that was hiding the shower stall’s edges where it was screwed in. It was only an inch or so, so I just used a hammer to clear that all off.

I got the shower stall walls off, and then I just rested for the night. I went to bed around 10:30 since I was pretty physically worn out, but it took a while to fall asleep.

Total spent: $38.78

Saturday

I woke up around 9 and I relaxed a bit before doing some small tidying for when MBG came over that night. But I was kind of restless. I’d been getting tempted by clothes recently, so I decided I should go to Goodwill and get new (to me) stuff there to avoid retail.

I tried on approximately a zillion clothes, and it was made slower by the fact that dressing rooms appear to be permanently closed. So I had to try to ignore the bulky lines from the shirt I was already wearing. And I had to take shirts off more carefully so as not to take the main shirt with it.

I was finally done around 1 p.m. and paid $34.22 for several shirts and a dress.

On the way home, I picked up a prescription ($26.77) and some snacks ($22.56).

I came home and started a laundry to get the distinctive detergent odor out of the clothes. I also did a load of sheets, so $7 went to the Washer/Dryer fund.

Oh, and Josie’s Banfield plan hit my card for $39.95.

Then I relaxed until it was time to hop in the shower and look presentable for MBG. Who then texted 20 minutes before he was supposed to come over to say (very apologetically) that he wasn’t feeling well and would make it up to me but couldn’t come over that night. And was there any chance I was available the next day?

SERIOUSLY?!

I replied that I probably couldn’t switch my Sunday plans to that night, but I’d let him know. And that an earlier-in-the-day heads-up would’ve made that more feasible. He said he was sorry — he just isn’t great at monitoring himself.

I guess as someone with a chronic condition, I forget that healthy people are less prone to keeping a careful eye on their energy/health levels throughout the day. So I guess it was understandable. But still annoying.

I also let him know that I very much hadn’t appreciated the utter lack of acknowledgment (let alone replies) to my texts. Which, I reminded him, were had actually been about changing our plans to Sunday.

He said he wanted to take in the text before he responded but that he appreciated me letting him know I was unhappy with how things were handled.

I vented to a couple friends, watched TV and played on the app a bit. I ended up in a long video call with a guy, and it was a fun conversation but ultimately not a good match.

I fell asleep around 12:30 a.m.

Total spent: $130.50 — ouch

Sunday

I woke up very hungry and still quite tired. I ended up ordering UberEats again — I signed up for a trial membership so two meals were only $9.59 after tip — but it was still early so the food wouldn’t arrive for an hour.

I dozed and woke up feeling human again about 10 minutes before my food arrived. Hooray!

I spent the rest of the day just relaxing and touched base with RCG about when to come over. He was at a local festival with some relatives, so he wasn’t available until later.

I finally thought to check the dates for an Immersive Klimt show and found out that it was while Mom was going to be here. I messaged her to see if she’d be interested. She was game, so I bought two tickets and she sent me the money for hers. My ticket was $50.40.

I was hemorrhaging money badly this week. Most of my funds were gone, and it was only the third day.

I checked my phone’s calendar and realized I had promised to work a few hours that day. So it was actually good that RCG wasn’t available until the evening.

I went over and played with the dog/relaxed with him for several hours. RCG let me know that, while he enjoyed my company, he wasn’t looking for anything serious. With his schedule, he just doesn’t have a ton of room for real dating.

While I did like him, after talking to him more about his dating history, I decided that was for the best. Pretty sure he’s avoidant-style attachment, which is a very bad match for me.

I read the book Attached last year, and it was pretty eye-opening about romantic interactions and choosing potential partners. It talks about why people act the way they do with people they date or with long-term partners — and for people already in relationships, it has a lot of information on how to better communicate/understand partners with insecure attachment styles. I strongly recommend everyone — even people in relationships/marriages — read it. (Also, as an Amazon affiliate, I am compensated for purchases made through my links.)

So yeah, we’ll keep hanging out, but just with no expectation of it turning into anything substantive. He’s a fun guy to hang out/chat with, and I’m utterly smitten with his dog. So not the worst setup.

I didn’t get home until 11:30 p.m. I caught up on emails so that I could sleep a little later.

Total spent: $59.99

Monday

The workday was pretty quiet.

I putzed around on the dating apps for a bit since clearly some of these guys weren’t going to work out dating-wise. I still hadn’t heard from MBG. And Keytar Guy hadn’t texted since I’d initiated a conversation on Tuesday. And due to timing issues for responses, MG and I barely say anything substantive over texts.

So… swiping!

After work, I’d arranged for another massage. Usually I get them two weeks apart, but on Saturday I figured after the physical labor of Friday, an extra one would be good.

That was good for me and only $65 after tax for 50 minutes. Amounts of $60 or more don’t come out of my weekly funds.

I then met a friend for a bite. My meal was $18.77, but I wasn’t as hungry as I thought I’d be. So most of it came home with me. Buuuuut I’d made the mistake of poking around the plaza since I’d gotten there early and discovered two dessert places of interest.

So we got some ice cream ($9.78) and at another place, I ended up ordering a bunch of really interesting cookies (one kind being s’mores which was exactly as delicious as it sounds). I got six very large cookies, which meant I got two free ones, so the end total of $28.45 was an indulgence but at least the two freebies lowered the per-cookie price.

I came home, relaxed and had a couple of cookies.

Total spent: $118.40 ($53.40 out of weekly funds)

Tuesday

I woke up kind of tired, so I did my best to rest.

Unfortunately, my printer was low on ink, and business taxes were due that day. They were ready, just not printed.

So I had to run to Office Depot and OfficeMax. My business pays for the ink since I do virtually no personal printing, and I don’t count business expenses in weekly spending.

Unfortunately, when I got home, I was once again tuckered out… and had bought the wrong kind of ink. D’oh!

I couldn’t go back out and still drive all the way to Tempe for trivia that night. So I printed out an extension request for business filing — I had enough ink for one form, thankfully — and mailed that on my way to trivia.

I paid $4.35 for parking, since the venue doesn’t have its own lot, and $9 for a quesadilla.

We did really well… right up until the last round. We tanked that one, so we didn’t come in anywhere close to 1st. Oh well.

I came home, chatted with some app guys some more, and then conked out around 10:30 p.m.

Total spent: $13.35

Wednesday

I got through work and took a break to run to the grocery store. Strawberries were on sale — up to five cartons for $0.47 each. Uh, yes please!

I got a couple other items for a total of $8.77, and I stopped by the Dollar Tree (where things are now $1.25 but c’est la vie) for some bleach and such, paying $5.32.

I came home, relaxed, kept an eye on emails and just vegged out with some snacks. I was still a little beat, but it probably wasn’t helping that I was eating a lot of junk food.

When the time came, I made myself presentable and left for trivia. We were strong going into the second half, but once again kind of tanked toward the end. Sigh. My bill was $11.19 after tax and tip.

I came home and started getting ready for bed, since it was past 9. (I’m trying to keep good sleep hygiene during the week.) RCG messaged asking if I wanted to go to Batman with him Saturday. So I agreed to that.

Despite my best intentions to get to sleep early, it took me until past 11 to actually reach unconsciousness.

Total spent: $25.28

Total spent: $446.29 ($381.29 out of weekly funds)

Owwwwwww. And I don’t even have the excuse of mundane/necessary expenses like I usually do. If you consider the extra massage necessary (and I do), then that, the Banfield plan and laundry were the only real normal expenses. So like 25% of overall spending. The rest was optional spending.

It’s not that I can’t afford this stuff — and I am definitely looking forward to the Klimt exhibit (which was more than 10% of overall spending just by itself) — but I do need to tone it down on takeout/meals out.

I’m honestly wondering if I’m having a mixed state of depression and mania, because I’ve been spending a lot. But all I can do is monitor and discuss it with my doctor when the time comes.

How has everyone else’s spending been going?

Related reading:

Of stupid brains, purty dresses & much-needed massages: A spending diary

Of donuts, self-designed shirts & cute dogs: A spending diary