I know, it’s shocking to actually hear from me outside of a spending diary these days. I’m working on it.
For those of you following my saga, I asked my medication management doctor to increase my Seroquel dosage because I felt like I was struggling. Sort of an ongoing case of spring fever: I don’t want to do anything serious or necessary, and I had/have a pretty bad case of bowerbird syndrome. That is, being fascinated by pretty colors and sparkly stuff.
Oy.
I got the dosage increased, and it didn’t seem to do much for the first six days. Normally, medication changes have an impact in one to three days. So not promising. And then something came along to obscure any results completely.
I was down to a couple of days of my Lamictil — a different mood stabilizer I take — and since the med would have a $0 copy through CVS, I put in a transfer request. (The Seroquel was cheapest at Safeway, and my doc will only call prescriptions in to one place. So I needed CVS to get the prescription from there.) Unfortunately, when I checked in the next day, I was told CVS had been experiencing a lot of issues with transfer requests/presumably just business volume in general. I’d be waiting five to seven days.
I expressed concern, and so they put through a second transfer request to try to hasten the process. But it still took seven days for them to get and fill my request. So I had to go without for five days. (A few days’ dose to cover the gap was not offered to me, so I presume that since it wasn’t a refill of an old order, that wasn’t an option.)
So right now I’m just sort of waiting to see how my mood pans out. My sleep schedule was off all last week, which may have been a bit of mania making my ignore my usual sleep hygiene, but nothing too drastic has happened. That said, I never know how my brain will react in the absence of a med.
But going back to the bowerbird bit…
I gained back the weight I lost in December (sigh), so in addition to just feeling out of sorts, I was self-conscious about how my clothes fit. And while I’d like to think I get back into the gym routine, there’s no guarantee. So I wanted some cute new stuff to make me feel a bit more confident.
So I placed an order at SHEIN, which has incredibly affordable clothing. But I also ordered stuff from Amazon. Mainly cute little dresses. Because I knew I could just return them if I didn’t like them.
Suddenly, I was checking Amazon deals every day and scanning through dresses and deciding to try a bunch out. Even though I knew I was going to wear that many dresses even in the summer here.
The thought of looking cute in something new and flattering — something I could wear on dates with guys who were flattering, for that matter — cheered me up.
So I finally kinda get retail therapy, I guess. But it seems like it’s even more dangerous these days. There are two reasons.
First of all, it used to be that you’d go to a store and buy something new, experiencing the rush of excitement. But there’s an added dimension now: Online shopping means two rushes — one when you order and one when you get the package. So it’s arguably even more addictive.
Every two or three days, I’d be waiting to hear the sound of a package being dropped off or come back from errands or trivia to find one waiting for me. And there’s a definite surge of happy chemicals that comes from that.
The second issue is the rise of installment payment options allowing people to feel like they can afford more than their budgets allow.
It’s not exactly a new concept, mind you. For decades, HSN and QVC have been enticing people to buy more by providing the option to break up the item into three or four payments. So people can “afford” to buy more items.
But back then it was localized. Now services like Klarna offer installment payments at a ton of online sites. I actually saw it advertised in a mall, and the sign seemed to indicate you could use it for in-store purchases too. Eek!
And of course, since credit card companies are never ones to leave money on the table, some are giving customers the option of splitting up larger purchases. For a small fee, naturally.
So now the accessibility of having multiple small payments makes it much easier to rationalize spending sprees. Because folks forget to stop and add up how much those small payments will be each month.
So retail therapy seems like it presents even more danger these days.
Thankfully, I’m not keeping almost anything I bought on Amazon. In some cases, the items didn’t fit. In other cases, they were just very meh when I tried them on, and by then, the rush had died down enough that I could be practical about what was worth paying for.
So the financial hit of new clothes (and some jewelry, but at SHEIN that’s $1 to $3 a pop, so it didn’t add up to much) didn’t do much damage in the grand scheme of things.
But it was enlightening to see why people could easily get sucked into the thrill — or at least dopamine rush — of acquiring new stuff. It’s powerful to experience. I can see why people get hooked.
I’m just grateful all I have to do is drive these last few items up to Kohl’s, and my credit card balance will go back to a more normal level.
Anyone else had a brush with retail therapy lately?
There’s a neologism for that: Prime-nesia.
It feels like Christmas when things get dropped off. So exciting! Fortunately for you, the rush dies down and you can decide, “It’s cute, but it’s not THAT cute.”
Can confirm that some of that stuff really WAS cute.
Donna Freedman recently posted…Giveaway: Alaska-made jewelry.
Yeah, there’s definitely that dopamine rush. Thankfully, I think I’m over it for a little while.
It’s unethical to buy ultra cheap fast fashion. Shein etc employ exploited workers to bring you your “cute” super cheap dresses. Don’t you care?
Well, I have a few responses here.
First, I normally buy almost every article of clothing secondhand, except sometimes pants, which can be hard to find used in styles that are comfortable/flattering. I think I made it very clear in the post that this buying spree was an aberration. In the past I’ve actually frequently mentioned that I almost exclusively shop at thrift stores. And I don’t scour for high-end brands, nor do I endorse the buying for resale from thrift stores, since it depletes the stock of cute/fashionable/quality things that people who *have* to shop used have access to.
Unfortunately, that’s been significantly more difficult lately as they’ve made it clear they’re just not going to reopen fitting rooms, and I don’t have a figure where I can eyeball things and know they’ll be flattering/even fit. I finally accepted that I just need to head to the thrift store wearing a thin tank top. But even then, I have to struggle to make sure that the tank doesn’t come off with the shirt I’m trying on.
I’m not even scouring for high-end brands and I never buy for resale, so I’m not depleting stock of cute/fashionable stuff for people on low budgets who *need* to shop used.
So I’d love it if, before you scolded/lectured me as though I were a child, you took into account my stressing that this was not my normal practice, nor did I expect it to continue when I leveled back out.
And also perhaps you could leave comments that are ever-so-slightly less attack-like. You could easily have conveyed the same sentiment with something like “I don’t shop cheap fast fashion because I find their practices to be unethical. Maybe if you bore that in mind, maybe it might help you if you get like this in the future?”
Second, I did *try* to tell myself that the cheap prices probably meant exploited labor. However, I was in the throes of mania/depression (Bipolar II can have mixed states) and that logic… did nothing. I was still obsessed with the styles and getting those pretty clothes. So maybe give me a little freakin’ leeway for what I made clear were the effects of mental illness, which makes people slightly to severely irrational.
Third, unfortunately nearly every clothing brand — even high-end ones — uses exploited labor in other countries. (It’s another reason I try to buy used, so I’m not directly supporting companies with these practices, since it’s nearly impossible to know all of the brands with unethical labor practices.) And I have looked into the brands touting ethical labor standards and… I’ve yet to find one that carries styles that would be flattering on me and that I would feel I looked my best in.
So perhaps consider that some of us have limited options if stuff that looks cute and great on models (and sometimes not even then) wouldn’t be remotely flattering and aren’t styles we like in general. And while I’m glad these companies are trying to be ethical, I also don’t know many people even outside of the frugal community who are comfortable paying nearly or actual triple digit dollar amounts for things like tops (especially when it’s almost always for styles that will look outdated the following year). So, if we don’t look good in * don’t want to have to buy mostly new wardrobes each year (at $80 to $100 — or more — per piece), we have a conundrum on our hands.
Just a few morsels of food for thought before you jump down my throat for a mostly isolated incident.
Where did you make it clear this was an isolated event? I don’t see it anywhere.
And cheap fast fashion looks good on you while ethical fashion doesn’t? Come on. Shein is poorly made junk.
Finally, for someone who’s quick to blame any man she meets for any imagined infraction, you’re awfully generous to yourself. What response were you expecting from this post?
Ah, Rose/Laura. Didn’t recognize you at first. Guess I’ll be more careful to check IP addresses and their masking in the future before I respond to readers being nasty.
I truly don’t know why you spend time as a troll. What do you possibly get out of this sad, sad enterprise? I have a crap-ton of free time on my hands and yet I would NEVER have time to go around leaving fake outrage comments or attacks the way you periodically do. I can only conclude that you lead a sad, sad life.
Perhaps you level nastiness at bloggers to distract you from unhappiness? Or is there something else you get out of it. I’m curious, so I’ll give it a shot:
Perhaps you never got over the “trauma” of your son’s little incident? Ya know, the one you wrote an entire, self-pitying op-ed piece wherein you had the gall to be upset that your son — who was underage and DROVE WHILE DRUNK — got a year in jail? The one where you actually said the quiet part (“I thought nice middle-class college boys like my son got a slap on the wrist.”) out loud? Meaning that you were actively complaining that white privilege didn’t allow your son to escape any punishment whatsoever? (And uh, I hate to break it to you, but 5 weeks in jail when he could’ve KILLED someone is absolutely white privilege in action.)
Hmmm… yeah mildly satisfying at best. Is this really why you have time and energy to leave nasty, often personal attacks? I truly hope you find something better to do with your time. Volunteer. Read a book. Play with a fidget spinner. Anything that stops this sad little habit practiced, as far as I can tell, but sad, grasping, embittered souls.
In the meantime, every time I detect your IP (and yes, I can do that, even if you use a program or VPN), I’m just going to cut and paste this particular comment over and over. So my other readers see what kind of small, sad little personality is leaving these comments.
Seek help, Rose/Laura. Seriously.
WOW!
Sounds like more than one story in there.
Sadly yes. She likes to pop up now and again — these days using different names/email addresses, and this past time she attempted to mask her IP address, since I used that to verify her last time — with fake outrage, personal attacks or other tiresome things. I held off on mentioning that little tale for quite a while. But if she’s going to waste everyone’s time, people might as well know that it comes from someone with that loathsome a POV.
I will order clothing from online merchants if I’m reasonably certain it’ll fit, like t-shirts. But I really prefer to try on clothing before I buy it. If I don’t, it usually doesn’t fit, or I don’t like the look/feel of the material. I must know what the material feels like! ;o)
I’ve just ordered a pair of shoes from Amazon. It’s a style, and brand, of work shoe that I’ve worn for years, so I know what I’ll be getting. But I just can’t bring myself to order things when I’m not optimistic about what I’ll receive. I hate to hassle with returns.
I got my fill of retail therapy in my twenties, when I had a lot more disposable income than I do now. These days, I like saving more than spending. Well… most of the time.
Yeah, I usually only add to my wardrobe when things die, or I replenish from thrift stores. I was postponing the latter because I genuinely thought they’d open their dressing rooms soon. Doesn’t look like they have any intention of ever doing so. A Saver’s employee said that they did away with them completely and permanently.
I generally try not to buy online because, like you, I’m bad at telling what will fit/be flattering. Especially given how non-standard women’s clothing sizes are. But for the past year or so, I’ve had to modify my practices, though usually I choose places with stores nearby that are easy to make returns to when I’m running other errands. Even so, I’m gonna go back to thrift stores as much as possible. But most jeans and pants I have to buy new because very few thrift store items are low-rise. And with literally about three inches between my ribs and hips, I can’t wear even most mid-rise jeans comfortably. So I almost never luck out at thrift stores — and that was when I could actually try the dang things on!
Thankfully, I think I’m over retail therapy. I haven’t had the desire to even peruse this past week. So I’ll buy to replace pants that go, and I guess the next time I want tops/dresses, I’ll head to the thrift stores in a thin tank and hope I can still get a good idea of what will be flattering.
I now get where the retail therapy comes from as well. Coming off the pandemic and a nasty bout with illness, I was dealing with hair loss, weight loss, muscle loss, etc. Bascially looked like your basic witchy poo.
The only bright spot was shopping for clothes because at LEAST i got rid of that stubborn ten pounds for the first time in years! (plus a few more but oh well. I’m sure they will find me again.) I was shopping in thrift stores because I have 0 faith these clothes will fit long term, so not much damage but still. Also found a couple of women in my buy nothing group who are of similar build and we trade back and forth depending on what the current weight of any of us are. I think we’ve been swapping the same LBD for about two years now. lol
Dunno if it’s retail therapy or making lemonade, but we all gotta deal somehow.
It’s great that you found women with similar builds/tastes. And yeah part of my shopping, I think, is also because I’m self-conscious about the 20 lbs I gained during the pandemic (especially since I gained back the 10 I lost in the winter, sigh). So I want things that will still be flattering while I work to lose the weight, but also struggle paying normal retail because I’m trying to be optimistic (without being idealistic) that I’ll get back down to where I was.
I’m sorry that you had to deal with all of the effects of an illness. It’s so hard when (we at least feel) our looks have taken a beating. With societal norms being what they are, it’s just rough to feel like you deviate from the alleged standard. Though I know very few women even half as fit as models and social media influencers. But you get my point.
I hope that your health and body level out some in the near or even just general future. We all need to feel good about ourselves, and sometimes that involves some annoyingly superficial stuff. But a healthy self image is important — and sometimes there aren’t a lot of good options to get there.
I have stopped buying fast fashion because while I used to like it for the trendy pieces, the insane amount of clothes in landfills just really bothers me and most clothes end up there eventually, as well as the labor practices of these companies that sell clothing for dollars. It makes you wonder how they can profit, meaning they aren’t caring for their workers.
Have you considered buying less items, but more quality ones? It seriously was life changing for me and now while I still shop here and there, I find I wear most of the same things anyway. I do know you shop second hand sometimes which is fantastic! I shop second hand a lot for kids and adults in our family.
Plus some of the more sustainable brands so have good sales, so it’s not all crazy expensive.
I hope you don’t take offense, I just wanted to point out that if all of us stop buying from these companies, one day maybe they will change their practices or shut their businesses down.
I hope your meds get sorted out!
Yeah, I hate when I buy fast fashion retail because I don’t like knowing that I’m supporting brands with bad practices. Unfortunately, that knowledge/attitude wasn’t really penetrating. I have, unfortunately, yet to find any brands touting ethical practices that have styles that I like/are flattering to my body type.
If I do buy fast fashion, I try to wear it til it’s absolutely in tatters to put off the landfill as much as possible. (And come to think of it, I could still save them for Mom who uses stuff like that as rags.) I have multiple shirts and shorts that have been worn around the house with large holes — one I only threw away when I would consistently put my arm through the gaping hole under the sleeve rather than the actual sleeve itself as I put it on — and a few that I’ll even wear for errands if they only have small holes. But by and large, I try to buy secondhand so that, if I do buy fast fashion, it’s at least not supporting the company directly. And I try not to buy pieces (even secondhand) that are too trendy, because who knows if I’ll want to wear them in a year? And even secondhand (and even if I redonate them) it feels wasteful.
But now that I have to accept that thrift stores aren’t reopening their fitting rooms — I was putting it off and buying a bit more retail than usual — I guess I’ll suck it up and wear a thin tank and just hope I can still figure out what looks good. And get better at taking off a shirt without the original shirt starting to come off with it.
I hear ya. I usually shop secondhand but I just bought a couple cheap leggings rom Kmart (and they are so thin I know they won’t last long) – sometimes it’s just the call we make at the time.
NZ Muse recently posted…Stop looking for the silver bullet – the answers are already within
Yeah few of us are able to be anywhere as close to perfect as we want. And I feel ya on the leggings — got some from Kohl’s last winter because I had Kohl’s cash and it’s not like I can wear leggings that much in a given year, but one of them got a hole early this winter. I’ll just save them for cleaning rags for me/Mom, I guess.
My splurge is shoes. I can find plenty of clothes second hand but I have a narrow foot. There is nothing like finding shoes my size on clearance, ordering them and having them come in. Ah, the smell of leather. (And yes, I know it once covered a cow.)
I think retail therapy is like an occasional treat when you are on a diet. A little nibble when you feel like quitting the whole diet thing helps keep you going.
Ha, I like that point of view. And it’s actually a bad idea to get secondhand shoes, if they’ve had any real use. Everyone has a slightly different step, most of us pronate or postnate. And if you are using shoes with wear patterns different from your own step, it can cause issues. So you’re actually doing yourself a favor there.