Well, several commenters have, anyway. (And thank you for your kind words, by the way.) People seem to enjoy just following my life — money and otherwise — so I’ll see what I can do.
Here’s an overview of my life right now:
Some of you said you enjoy reading about my dating adventures. Alas/thankfully, I don’t have many awful-but-hilarious stories to regale you with — mostly because I’m keeping a tight rein on how much I engage with the app.
I swipe until I have two matches, and I try to assume that nothing will come of it –likely because they’ll go quiet on me.
Once those two matches have both played out — which usually means “fizzled out” — I’ll swipe until I get two more. This minimalist approach has done wonders for my sanity.
The issue with dating apps is you get a rush of dopamine with new matches. So if you swipe a bunch and end up with five or six matches, you think, “Surely, one of these will pan out!”
Then, once your hopes are up:
- One or two never reply
- Two or three put forth no effort in conversation or do… for a day or so. Or you yourself lose interest.
- Maybe two will discuss meeting. You might even set up a date. But most fall through unless the date is the day of or the day after setting up a time and place.
So it gets very disheartening, and that emotional up-and-down has proven in the past to have a seriously deleterious effect on my mental health.
Honestly, the ups and downs of dopamine rushes/droughts — and any self-doubt spiral caused by so many people flaking or going quiet — probably aren’t good for most people’s mental health.
So this has been much easier. And even with my limited method, I’ve matched with around 14 guys since early December.
A couple of them never responded.
Three flaked the day of or day before we were going to meet. With one, I woke up the day of the date to find he’d unmatched.
Three matches have resulted in dates.
I chatted with the rest, but they either turned out not to be good matches (one was unvaccinated, and another one’s days off were on the two days a week where I always have something going on) and others just stopped chatting after one or two conversations.
But I’m sure you’re more curious about the men I did meet. So…
This guy got mentioned in my spending diaries. He was nice enough, but just finishing a divorce. A very cordial one, but still a divorce — after 15 years with his high school sweetheart, no less.
We had a few dates, and he was fun to chat with. But I just wasn’t feeling it, even just in a FWB sense.
So I texted him to say that I was trying remain open to a more serious connection (somewhat true), and that I wouldn’t have time to meet anyone new if I kept seeing him (very true). And he, of course, he wasn’t anywhere near ready for something serious.
He replied that he was actually open to whatever things turned into, but yeah that our connection felt more like a FWB situation. And he wished me well.
To which I had two hilariously opposing reactions:
- Whew, so glad he didn’t try to argue or get mad!
- Wait… If he’s delusional enough to think he could potentially have a more serious connection, (and since I’m obviously objectively awesome) he should want something more than FWB — and should clearly be devastated that I wasn’t.
I’m partially kidding. Partially. But meh, I’d rather have my reaction be a tad arrogant than be the endless loop of “Wait, then what’s wrong with me?” I would’ve had in the past.
This one was quite literally half my age. So 22. Eek! But he seemed very sweet and to have a brain. He said he preferred older women but also was hoping to find a real connection.
That last bit was added right after my message saying that I was open to whatever does/doesn’t develop with someone. So it didn’t seem like a line.
So I figured I might as well meet him.
We actually had a great date. And we continued texting for several days. But he had class and then homework, so he was a bit less responsive, though still messaging multiple times a day. Finally, he said that school was keeping him much busier than expected this semester, and just didn’t think he could see me.
Obviously, he may’ve just been letting me down easy. But he was the one who’d text first most days after the date. So it seems unlikely.
So not a bad experience — a fund date and, even if he was fibbing about the reason, at least he bothered to tell me/protect my feelings — but not very productive overall.
The future firefighter
Like the youngin’, this guy’s a back-to-my-cougar-days age (28), but very hot. So again, back to my cougar days.
Honestly, I almost didn’t meet him. Because… Ugh, there’s no easy way to say this, some of our initial messaging didn’t speak well to his intelligence. At all.
I mentioned going to plays. He replied, “Like Disney?” And later asked if I liked karaoke, and after I’d answered I said, “I take it you do?” And he said no, he was just asking because of the play thing.
So yeah, I almost unmatched. But he asked for a date, and something told me to just go for it.
As it turns out he’s very sweet and didn’t make weird statements in person (I think he’s just not great over texts) and, yup, he looked like his pics. I was also pleasantly surprised by how many questions he asked about things he didn’t know much about.
Unfortunately, a lot of men (no, not all men *eye roll*) who have a lot more to learn about… many, many things… tend to greatly overestimate their intelligence and breadth of knowledge. They’ll confidently spout off about subjects they don’t know — and woe betide the person who tries to correct anything they say.
Instead, when he found out I have this blog, we ended up discussing what the differences between Roth and regular IRAs, and he seemed genuinely interested.
So all in all, it was a very pleasant time.
We chatted for a couple of hours before he had to go to work. So it was a nice change of pace that clearly he wasn’t expecting to get lucky on the first date. He just genuinely wanted to meet in person.
We’ve seen each other again, but this week doesn’t look good for our schedules aligning. And that’s because…
As the name I gave him implies, he wants to be a fireman. To get first responder experience, he’s an EMT in an ambulance. He has four, 12-hour night shifts a week. And there are certificate courses he has to take before he can apply to be a firefighter. He’s working one or two right now.
So yeah, busy fella. And the nights he works are, of course, the best nights for me to actually see him. But I’m just going to wait and see how it goes for a bit.
Pirate Party Guy
As mentioned in my last post, PPG and I are still seeing each other regularly. Kind of startling to realize we’ve been doing this for more than eight months at this point.
It’s not the classic idea of “love” that is prevalent nowadays. But the ancient Greeks had words for eight types of love, from platonic to just sexual to what most of us think of as “love.”
And the two of us have agreed that we’re perfectly happy just sort of roaming around that spectrum.
As I mentioned in my last post, keeping myself fed has become more difficult, especially now that Adderall is boosting my metabolism, meaning I can get low blood sugar nausea much more easily.
Honestly, a large part of the issue is that I just kinda hit a wall.
I was doing great for a while, but lately it’s been harder to make myself cook. A few times, I haven’t been able to.
I think there are two main factors:
I really did love the recipes I had for the last three or four months. But there were only a few dishes, and I think I need a break from them.
Spring has sprung
Everything I was eating was semi-heavy. I was mostly eating hearty soups, chili and an enchilada bake.
Very tasty, but things are officially starting to warm up. So I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to stomach those dishes.
Obviously, both factors can be solved by finding new recipes. But, uh, about that…
My recipe search
I’m a bit of a picky eater — I don’t eat red meat and don’t like seafood — and the recipes have to be ones that are low sodium or that can be converted to it. So my options are a bit limited.
Over the course of many, many Internet searches, I’ve found a decent number of recipes. But there are a couple problems with them.
The more minor one is that some just don’t sound good — or they have an ingredient I refuse to work with due to messiness/potential clean clean-up difficulty. (Cough cough, honey, cough cough.)
But the big issue is just… wow, how do y’all eat so damn much meat???
Most of the recipes (even slow cooker ones) are for full chicken breasts.
I was raised to eat dishes that had some meat spread across several servings. A single chicken breast will be in a dish that’s three to four servings. There’s fiber and more protein via the combination of either beans/corn or beans/rice.
So, yeah, I’d say the issues are:
- I like to freeze part of what I make, and I’m not convinced that some of these recipes would freeze well.
- I don’t want to have to make sides to get veggies or fiber or whatever into my eating.
- I’m not used to eating that much meat routinely and perhaps most importantly…
- The low sodium chicken breast I buy (75 mg compared to the more regular 220ish mg amount) is $5 to $6 a pound. So I don’t want too many recipes where each serving is a chicken breast.
I’ve found some that I’m testing out — when I can get myself to make the dang food — and I’ve come up with a hack or two that I think will make the recipes even more hot-weather-friendly. But I still need to keep doing occasional searches so I don’t burn out on the newest few.
I’ll try to do another low-sodium recipes post before long to get more into that. But unlike the previous food post, none of them will be ones I made up myself.
I’ll be sure to include some of the cold-weather recipes for people who live in normal places where it’s not in the 70s in mid-February.
I did make it back to the gym finally … but not for long.
The first week, I did one workout and then my schedule/list of errands didn’t permit more.
The second week, I went twice, then was once again swamped with appointments and errands.
The third week, I wanted to shoot for three workouts, but over the weekend, I managed to stub my toe, which left it sore for several days.
Just as that was starting to feel better, I dropped something on my foot. It wasn’t super heavy, but it hit at just the right angle, I guess, because that area twanged when I walked for a few days.
I should be okay now — barring stubbing my foot again. Which, frankly, I wouldn’t put past me. So my goal is to get back in there this week if I can find days where I have enough time between finishing work and needing to be somewhere clean and presentable (aka, my hair is done and I have makeup on).
The medication and a (mostly) low-sodium diet are working. My blood pressure is right in the center to slightly lower end of the healthy range.
I take it first thing in the morning, then I take it after I’ve had an Adderall. With the Adderall, I sometimes get a bit outside the healthy range, but not by much.
This means I’m (occasionally) letting myself have a treat. I had movie theater popcorn after several months and it was truly glorious! Then again, I ate it very slowly and kernel by kernel — and about 1/4 of the bag was left at the end.
And if I know I’m going to drink (parties, MeetUp happy hours, etc) I make sure I eat very low sodium food all day. Because the couple times I’ve tried having booze and something with a decent level of sodium, I get a low-level headache.
Boy, do I miss indulging my drunk munchies, but life goes on.
Anyway, that about sums up what’s going with me. How’s everyone else doing?