Life at present

Fun fact: This was going to be a quick post that I would be able to publish the same day or the next one.

That was last Wednesday.

Life is tiring

Adulting is just so damn relentless. And hiding from adulting with a good TV series and some junk food is just so easy.

I’ve been relatively productive in keeping up on life: errands, cleaning, etc. But then I’m weary from that — or just don’t want to adult anymore — and take refuge in TV.

So here are some life updates.

Oof

So… I very stupidly ran myself ragged two weeks ago.

Wednesday/Thursday

I inadvisedly scheduled trivia on back to back days. I’m trying to get more attendance, so I thought going back to two events per week might help. Even though one venue is 25 miles from my house.

Thankfully, the other trivia event was in Phoenix itself, though still not the closest drive from my house at around 12 miles.

Friday

I had a post-workday, midafternoon ice cream date with a guy. It went well, though due to our schedules that day, it only lasted about an hour.

As a result, I got home around 4:30, which gave me a bit of time to rest before Pirate Party Guy (PPG) came over at 6:30.

Normally, that wouldn’t be a big deal, as we just chill out here. But a mutual friend was having a birthday bash at a bar. So we had to actually leave the house.

It was fun, but I didn’t get home until after 1 a.m. And then suddenly it was 2 a.m. and I forced myself to go to bed finally.

Saturday

I woke up around 10:30 a.m., so at least I got enough sleep. But I could already feel some lingering weariness from the previous three days.

I tried to just relax and rest up for the 10 p.m. showing of Rocky Horror. I’d organized around 10 of us to go, so I couldn’t skip it, even if I’d wanted to.

Since the tickets were under my name, I showed up at 9 p.m. A few people arrived not long after, so we sat around chatting and waiting for the others.

While the whole thing was fun, I didn’t get home until after 12:30 a.m. So of course I then stayed up way too late putzing around messaging and playing games on my phone.

Sunday

I woke up at noon, but I was very, very flat.

Even so, I had to be downtown at 6:30 to see the play A Chorus Line with some friends. So I once again tried to be as inactive as possible until it was time to get ready and leave for the show.

I made it, if barely, and am so glad I did. My mom used to play the soundtrack when I was kid. In retrospect (given some rather bawdy parts), probably when I was too young a kid.

Anyway, the point is that I grew up on the songs, and while excited, I was also slightly worried that I’d be disappointed compared to the album.(Yes, “album” I am old.)

Happily, the performance was truly fantastic. My friends enjoyed it a lot too.

Quick cheap(er) entertainment reminder

You may have noticed that I talk about going to a fair number of plays and similar events on here, and entertainment tickets can get pricey real fast.

So I just wanted to remind you folks about Goldstar, which is what I use to get sizable discounts on local entertainment.

Because while I believe in supporting the arts, the regular price isn’t something I can stomach.

For example, a Sunday evening show, with a seat in the 9th row from the front (out of 13) — would’ve been $120 plus $12 in fees

And in case you feel bad about “short-changing” the theater, remember that the theaters are the ones who decided to sell out a discount. Because 33% of the normal price is still a damn sight better than 0% if the seat stays empty.

It’s all coming together!

I feel like I’m behind on costume party mentions, especially since a friend has a themed party every month. And now that it’s pool party season, a few other hosts are getting on the bandwagon.

So I’m happy to announce that my costume wardrobe is finally starting to work in my favor. I already had what I need — or almost everything, anyway — for most of the recent parties.

St. Patrick’s Day

For example, my friend’s belated St. Patrick’s Day was just a matter of wearing something green.

While I do have one shirt with green on it, the 3/4 sleeves and jeans would’ve been too warm in Phoenix’s March temperatures.

So I got out the corset from the Solstice Party last year. I added some green earrings and a dash of green eye makeup. Et, voila — an on-theme outfit!

Pirate party

Last year, someone threw a pirate party (which is where I met PPG, as I’m sure you surmised). So I had a wench-type shirt from that.

I added a black skirt with asymmetrical layers that I had gotten for $8 at Goodwill many years ago for a last-minute Halloween witch costume.

Then I got out the boots and under-bustier from my warrior woman costume from this past Halloween. (I can’t remember if I posted that one here, so I’m adding it below.)

With all that, the only things I needed to buy were a headscarf and obligatory red sash. Which I picked up at Goodwill for $7 total.

Disney Princess Party

This was not a theme I was happy with.

I have zero pastel dresses. A couple people pointed out I could go with green, but that’s Tiana’s color; and I simply wasn’t comfortable dressing up as a princess of color. Even if it were just the clothes.

Happily, a friend had a few pastel frocks she offered up. More importantly, though, she had a green sequin dress that I could cut up for a skirt.

Meanwhile, a bra that I haven’t used in ages but was too pretty to throw out was just about the perfect purple for Ariel’s seashell bra. I cut the straps and just tucked everything but the cups into a nude strapless bra.

I had to resize the dress as it was a bit big for more. Since I’m terrible at sewing, so I got some no-sew fabric tape for the job. (As an Amazon affiliate, I’m compensated for orders placed through my links.)

I also had to buy a red wig for $24 plus tax. (Again, as an Amazon affiliate, I’m compensated for purchases made through my links.) But I’m quite sure that’ll get used in many costumes to come.

The result was pretty great, and I got a lot of compliments. Though several people (who usually know me at a glance) didn’t recognize me until I came up and said hello.

Upcoming costumes

There’s a Gods & Goddesses party later this month, at a different friend’s house, and I’ll be recycling my Roman Party outfit for that.

The same friend also has an annual Unicorn Party where attendants are encouraged to wear a lot of bright colors. I’m going to use the same ($12) dress as last year.

Love life

I know you guys like fun details about my dating life. I don’t have any tremendously tacky interactions for you — sorry, not sorry — but here’s what’s been going on.

The steady

PPG and I are still chugging along well. And excited for San Diego this weekend!

It should be interesting to see how we do, given that we’ve never spent a full day together, or even had one of us sleep over at the other’s place. And this will be three days.

But I think it’ll be okay. I got a room with a king bed so one of us moving around hopefully won’t disturb the other. And since he needs some alone/quiet time, I told him to bring headphones and maybe his guitar. If he gets those out, I’ll take it as a cue to play quietly on my phone or go check out the hot tub or something.

Other guys

I’ve actually been doing a little dating, though I’m keeping it low-key.

The “ummmmm” guy

From the outset of our conversation in the app, I felt like he was coming on kind of strong.

For example, when I mentioned that I always check in the day of the date to make sure it’s still on, telling him that it was a tradition born of a lot of guys flaking the day of the intended meeting, he said he would never do that to me.

Okaaaaaay, good sentiment but weird way to word it.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t attracted to him in person, though we had some great conversation. So the next day I messaged him that I got more of a platonic vibe, but that if he was interested in friendship, I’d be down for it.

He said yes, of course he was.

We had one day of semi-normal message conversation, though he referenced how much he’d liked me. I repeated that I could only offer friendship and if he wanted more, he should unmatch from me.

He rushed to say no, no, of course friendship was great.

Then the next evening he messaged me from a bar where he was playing pool (an avocation of his) and clearly had had a drink or two because he kept saying it was lonely, and he had really really liked me.

I unmatched.

Philly guy

This is my ice cream date, who was born and raised in Philly. Hence the moniker.

I saw him for the short chat-over-Coldstone date, and we both thought it went well.

Since he runs in some of the same circles I do, I’d told him about the Disney Princess party. He ended up coming there, and we got to talk more.

He’s cute, and we chat easily. Unfortunately, he’s pretty busy during the week — he has a full-time job and coaches high school football after that — and my weekends can get crowded. But we’ve agreed to hang out the weekend after I’m back from San Diego and see how we do.

He’s only 29, so between that and his somewhat busy schedule, I doubt it would get serious. But while I’m open to something more substantial, I refuse to make it my main goal.

The “oh well” guy

I had a date Monday with a dating app guy I’d been chatting with pretty regularly for a couple of weeks.

Unfortunately, it was once again a friend vibe. He hasn’t messaged me in the two days since the date, so I think he wasn’t feeling it either.

Rock-climbing guy

Remember him? He was the one with an adorable bulldog (and I never find bulldogs cute). We saw each other probably six times over the two months. And then he ghosted me.

Well…

I’d forgotten to mention on here that in the early fall — around four months after ghosting me — he messaged me on OKCupid. At 2 a.m. The message was “You up?”

I guess I should be flattered he bothered to spell “you”?

I wrote back that normally I’d ignore the message altogether since his using OKC meant that he’d gone to the trouble of deleting my info from him phone.

Buuuuut that just the night before I’d been talking about his adorable dog to someone and wondering if I could set it up so I could just be friends with the pup. Thus I was amused by the synchronicity and was curious what he wanted.

Shockingly, he didn’t reply.

I chuckled and put him right out of my mind.

Then the Saturday before last — maybe six months after the last message — he sent a message request on Messenger. At 4 a.m. This time, I apparently didn’t merit spelling out the “you” in “You up?”

I didn’t notice the message until Sunday, so I just replied, “No, not at that godforsaken hour [laugh emoji}.” And then said that between this and the last one, he messaged at the most bizarre hours.

I’m sure you’ll be shocked to hear that he didn’t reply. I guess I have to wait several more months.

A possible interest?

I fell to chatting with a guy during the friend’s birthday bar gathering. He’s cute and interesting, so I added him on Facebook.

We’ve messaged some over the past 10 days, but I think we may be on different wavelengths in regards to priorities and what we want out of life. And/or he may just genuinely be interested in friendship only.

But I’ll just see if/how it unfolds.

The “whaaaa?” guy

Be warned: This section involves a nerdy rant.

I also talked to a guy at the last party who I was initially interested in, but the more we talked, the more it’s clear we want different things in relationships.

Another issue

He was far too excited about the fact that I knew the word “sagacity” which is part of his business name. (For anyone isn’t familiar with the word but has no desire to Google it, “sagacity” simply means wisdom. Think of it as an offshoot of “sage.”)

Well, this fellow insisted that he’s never met anyone else who knew the word.

I suggested that some must have. But if they knew it, they wouldn’t comment on it, so he wouldn’t notice.

But nope, he was adamant that every single person who hears his business name then asks what it means. And I’m sure those people constitute a thoroughly varied group thereby making it representative of everyone.

And yes, I know it was technically an attempt to compliment me. But it mostly came off as “Wow, someone else finally equal to my unique brilliance! Aren’t the obtuse hoi polloi just exhausting?”

Ick.

Huh?

But the truly weird part came the next evening when we were messaging through Facebook.

I told him I’d felt a bit all over the place during the party. He asked what I meant, so… Well, it’s easier to just show you the exchange.

Uh, wut?

He was already pretty much out of the running. But taking “I felt scattered and itinerant” as “minor dissociation” was just mind-blowing.

And then let’s talk about the “…one could draw a conclusion from that as well, however I am not.”

First of all, so gallant of him to not draw conclusions. *Eye roll*

Secondly, “one”? Really? Say “someone” or “a person” or “mental health professionals” — anything but “one.” It’s a ridiculous word to use in a casual messaging scenario.

Red flag

For the record, I’m not (just) being mean, folks. It was worth noting because I find that people using that stilted of grammar/wording are almost always either:

1. Someone insecure about their intelligence and thus trying — too hard — to sound smart.
2. Someone with a huge ego and therefore hell-bent on showing off their big brain. (And in most cases, these folks turn out not to be nearly as brilliant as they think. Smart? Yes. Brag-worthy smart? Nope.)

Both of these types are exhausting to be around, and I want to avoid dating either one at all costs.

And if I’m saying it…

Look, I am absolutely the type of person to use semi-colons in messages. Granted, it’s usually only if I’ve used multiple commas in one of the two halves — it helps avoid visual clutter — but yeah I do it shamelessly.

And in the past seven days, I’ve spit out “erudite” and “peripatetic” in messages. Because my stupid slot machine of a brain refused to give me any more common words. So yup, sometimes 50-cent words come out.

Reasons aside, my point is that I find someone’s grammar and wording stilted, it’s really saying something.

Funny/sad

Ironically, his attempt to use formal grammar actually backfired on him. He messed up that sentences in three different ways. Sheesh!

For anyone curious:

1. Semi-colons are for two independent clauses — aka things that would be full sentences on their own with subject/verb/maybe an object. But he used “which” right after the semi-colon, making it a dependent clause.
2. Even with the semi-colon, he managed to make it a run-on sentence. The “however I am not” should have been its own sentence. (Also, just say “but” and contractions for cryin’ out loud!)
3. Because he used a comma to join “however” to the second sentence, he didn’t use one after the word. That changes the meaning from a synonym for “but” to “in whatever way.” For example: “However, I disagree” vs “However you choose to approach this situation…”

I’m sure some of you are about to “ahem” in the comments, pointing out that I’m far from perfect in my grammar use. That’s absolutely true. But my technically improper grammar is for things like emphasis or to have a more casual/chat-like feel.

If I were inexplicably in need of proving my intelligence by text with a puffed-up sentence, I sure as hell would’ve used the correct punctuation and grammar.

Okay, rant over. Hopefully, future parties involve fewer pompous folks.

Everyone else (mostly) keeping their head above water?