I’m sorry I’ve been falling down on responding to comments lately. I am reading them all, I swear. I’m just feeling at sea as I deal with copious things. It feels like more than normal, which it probably isn’t. But it feels that way.
An almost-dog
Tim may be right about my needing to have a doctor evaluate my med levels. But it might also just be the current stress, which is slowly passing. I’ll discuss it with my new med-management doctor, which will probably be the same person Tim is scheduled to see (assuming we like him).
All I know is that we very nearly came home with a one-year-old pit/terrier mix the other day. We were in the mall, and Tim wanted to go to the shelter and see the animals. They cheer him up, though also sadden him since we’re not ready for a dog yet.
There was a sweet, forlorn-looking pup. And the adoption fee was waived. I became convinced that this meant the dog was on death row and got all teary as we were walking back to the car.
We decided to go back and at least play with the dog a little before leaving him to his (gulp) fate. But once we got back there, we found out you have to fill out an application to interact with the dogs at all. Too much work/commitment for a dog we couldn’t take home, so we left again with me tearing up a second time.
Good news: I got home and looked the shelter up. It’s a no-kill organization, so the dog was safe. Apparently, they were just having an adopt-a-bull event.
The whole way home, though, I was considering just how bad it would be really to get a dog now. (Answer: Financially very inadvisable. Also a very peeved Patches, but she’ll get over it.)
I told Tim we’ll revisit the dog question once we see the state of our savings account after paying for the last part of the dental implants process.
In the meantime, I’m refusing to visit any more shelters. Seeing all the animals get left behind — especially in the shelters that aren’t no-kill — hurts my heart.
I always leave wondering if maybe we could afford, like, 10 dogs. It feels like I’m consigning them to die if we don’t just scoop every last one up. Ah, depression.
I won!
It turns out I was one of the 10 winners of CFSI’s What Financial Health Means to Me contest!
Thank you to everyone who shared my post. I’m not sure if I won due to social media or actual content. But I do know that Mom and I had the most Twitter engagement — at least for people using the requisite #finhealthmatters. Just more proof that you guys rawk.
I’ll get my FinCon ticket free, plus $1,500 of expenses reimbursed. Which is nice since the hotel itself is a painful $942 after taxes. More actually, since we decided to drive there and parking is $29 a day. Insane.
The rental car is a bit more expensive than normal too. Mom no longer has a car and, therefore, no longer has insurance. Since she’ll inevitably be driving at least part of the way, we need to get coverage through the rental company.
The Chase Sapphire card will cover the basic damage waiver insurance as long as I book the car on that card. (Man, I love that sucker!) But Mom and I agreed that we should add the third-party liability insurance just in case. Which brings a $190-a-week rate to around $400. Yowza.
That’ll still leave us just about enough to cover the ridiculous parking fees. Mom offered to pay for gas because she’s saving so much money otherwise. And because she’s a mom.
So we won’t have to plunder savings/the vacation fund for this annual blog-nerd-extravaganza we call FinCon.
Speaking of winning…
Just wanted to ask once again that you guys help me push Frugality for Depressives by nominating it for a Plutus. (And of course, feel free to add me as “best frugality blog” if you feel so inclined.)
I don’t expect to win. Jason Vitug — already insanely popular with his Phroogal site — got a book review from the New York Times so… yeah. But all I really need is to make it into the finals. If I do, the book title will be read at the Plutus Awards ceremony. Which means 200+ people hearing the name. Very helpful.
You can nominate me by clicking on this link.
How are all y’all doing? Anyone want to take a couple of chores off my list? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
Kate @ Cashville Skyline says
I was so thrilled to see that you had won, Abigail. Happy I could help on Twitter! ๐ I know what you mean about rescue dogs. I’ve been wanting one forever, but it’s just not the right time. I have a hard time leaving them there, too.
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Abigail says
Yep, you were a big help.
It’s hard NOT to want to bring a dog home. Even if most of them are pits (Tim’s not a fan) or at least part chihuahua (neither of us are a fan). They all just look soooo ready to love you!
But we need to make sure we have money in the bank — and that the most breakable/chewable stuff is tucked away. I don’t really care if the pup ruins our couch or chairs. But graphic novels or collectibles or just general cords… Those need to be inaccessible.
Holly@ClubThrifty says
Nominating your book for a Plutus Award now! I bought it but have yet to give it to my brother. Waiting for the right time. I did read through it – great insights and you do have a unique perspective that isn’t really shared elsewhere. I hope you win the award!!!
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Abigail says
Thanks for the nomination! I’m glad you enjoyed the book. (Feel free to leave a review in your, haha, copious spare time.) I hope your brother enjoys it when he does get it. I hope this post wasn’t too tough for you. I saw your FB post about losing your dog. It sounds like it was the right thing to do, but a year and a half later I still tear up thinking about Sandy. So… yeah.
Anya says
Dogs are actually great stress relievers. Maybe when you get around to getting one, you both may notice a difference in stress levels. But definitely stay away from the shelters. This is how hubby and I ended up with 5 dogs. ๐ง
Abigail says
Haha, that is a LOT of dogs! I think I couldn’t rationalize those kinds of food/vet bills, so I’m safe. But yeah we might eventually have two dogs, especially when my in-laws’ dogs pass away and our guy/girl won’t have playmates. But that’s all in the future.
I definitely agree that dogs are good stress relievers. Tim gets a lot of comfort out of Patches, and she’s still sometimes an unwilling participant in the cuddling. So a dog’s desperation for love/attention would be great for him. And it’d get him a bit more active inre: walks.
Impossible Girl says
Could Tim volunteer at a shelter? Not that he would just be cuddling puppies all day… he might be cleaning out cages and other dirty tasks, but if being around animals helps with his depression (and many studies have been done that back this up). I am sure they could work with him in regards to his physical limitations. When I went to the shelter to be adopted by my cat, there was a volunteer there who was using a wheelchair… no idea what her duties were but she was definitely part of the team.
One of my “If I win the lottery” dreams is to buy a large house, lots of land and rent a large schoolbus. Pull that sucker up to the shelter and just tell them to load ’em up.
Abigail says
Unfortunately, Tim’s allergic to pet dander. It took him a month or two before he stopped being allergic to Patches. He was a bit extra itchy and relatively congested. He has to get a tolerance for each specific animal. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to pry him away from a shelter.
I love the school bus idea! I just keep picturing Dug from Up. “I was hiding under the porch because I love you.” How can you resist that kind of affection?!
Tina in NJ says
Yeah! I’m glad for both you and your mom that you won. Have fun on the trip.
Abigail says
That’s definitely the plan. And then we can come back here to chill out, rather than pay for yet more hotel rooms. Woot!
Vicki@Make Smarter Decisions says
Congratulations! So glad you won and I hope I was able to help a little! Just figuring out the whole social media piece.
Abigail says
Social media is a puzzling place indeed. I definitely appreciated all the tweets from you guys, and I’m like 99% sure you contributed multiple ones (memory is no good these days… or ever). So you were awesome!
NZ Muse says
CONGRATS!!! I saw that on Medium – the winners’ roundup.
My dog has been SO great for my mental state. But it’s not something to rush into.
NZ Muse recently posted…How I doubled my pay and halved my stress
Abigail says
Yeah, dogs are great. I think, anyway. I’ve never had one. But we need to make some adjustments here (take some stuff out of the living room, for example) before we’re dog-ready. Not to mention wanting to make sure we can cover an emergency. I told Tim I want at least $1,000 (preferably $1,500) in savings. We have our emergency fund, but I love *not* touching that sucker.
Catseye says
Congrats, Abby! You and your mom enjoy the heck out of FinCon.
Abigail says
Thanks, that’s the plan! I’m guessing a free hotel room will feel awfully nice.
Dividendsdownunder says
Awesome job Abigail, congrats! You definitely deserve it, I hope you guys have a GREAT time!
I must admit, we aren’t huge dog people (we have a cat), but I can totally see a dog being a big positive presence in your life (but it’d be a lot of work too). The happiness and enthusiasm will be infectious ๐
Tristan
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Abigail says
Nothing wrong with being a cat person. I still miss my Sandy, who was a dog trapped in a cat’s body. And Patches is painfully adorable throughout the day. Tim actually uses her as a kind of therapy animal. But she’s still a cat to an extent, so sometimes he has to kind of say, “No, you’re MY pet and we’re going to cuddle, dammit!” So a dog would be nice since the general default state is just “I love you. Please love me. I love you. Did I mention I love you?”
I definitely think it’s a good idea. We just need to double check that we’ll have money in the bank to cover potential emergencies. Also, there are a few things that should probably get moved out of the living room and into the office. And we should make sure all of the cords are tucked away better. Or maybe even get another entertainment console that has actual doors on it. It’s still up for debate.
Cakester says
Woohoo! Congratulations on winning with the fincon post. Hopefully the conference will feel extra fun since it’s free!
Abigail says
That’s definitely what we’re hoping for! Plus it allows us to insure ourselves up to the gills for the rental car. So… woot!
Middle class says
I think volunteering with a pet rescue group ( no kill) might be helpful for tim. There should be groups that have minimal commitment. That way he gets time with dogs and volunteering is a great way to feel needed and worthy.
Abigail says
In theory, this is definitely a good idea. Unfortunately, Tim is allergic to pet dander. It takes him time to adjust to each new animal — he was extra uncomfortable for a month or two after bringing Patches home — so volunteering at a shelter would cause even more discomfort (if not potential breakouts) than he’s already in.
Emily @ JohnJaneDoe says
Awesome job on winning the contest, and good luck with Plutus.
I totally get the dog thing. We took Little Bit’s Daisy troop to Petsmart last weekend to use their cookie money to buy pet food for the cat rescue. She fell in love with an orange kitty that she wants to name Ginger, and I’m having to say no on a daily basis. So far she hasn’t asked what happens to the kitties that don’t find homes. (in this case, they stay with the rescue.)
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Abigail says
Glad you ended up seeing a rescue place that keeps the animals. Otherwise, it might be a very distressing conversation with Little Bit. Also impressive that she keeps asking. It must be important since little kids usually have the attention span of a goldfish. So clearly you’re raising a smart girl, even if it’s inconvenient at present.
Harmony@CreatingMyKaleidoscope says
Congrats on the win – that is awesome!
I’m right there with you when it comes to wondering about whether we could bring home ten dogs. We have one right now and I keep mentioning that she needs a friend. My daughter too! Whenever she sees a dog, she says “I want that doggy too.” Not a dog like it . . . no, my little Tornado wants to steal everyone else’s dogs, EVERY SINGLE ONE.
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Abigail says
Haha, yep kids are even worse than adults about wanting all the sweet animals, I think. Or at least they’re not motivated by the guilt of impending euthanasia.
Punkin Pye says
I’m so happy for you, Abby. What a relief to get some good news for a change. And don’t you dare apologize for not replying to comments. As we say in Texas, “You’re up to your a## in alligators.”
I might have a suggestions for the pet outings. There is a high end mall here in town that has a pet adoption drive every Christmas. I was telling one volunteer how hard it was to walk away and leave all the adorable dogs and cats behind in cages. The volunteer told me not to worry because, every year, every single animal gets adopted. Maybe, if you can find which adoption events are highly successful, you will feel better about walking away. I know it makes me feel better every year.
Abigail says
That’s good to know indeed. I think I’ll just try to stick to no-kill shelters, which should lessen the guilt. Then it’s just a matter of “But they just want to looooove meeeee” feeling as I walk away without any. It’s a little better.
Daizy says
I can’t believe they wouldn’t even let you play with the dog without filling out paperwork. Come down to Tucson. I don’t know of any adoption events that require play time pre-approval. I just got another foster dog from the Maricopa pound. Evidentially, they are on a killing spree. He is 12, a long haired Chi, and doesn’t bark much. All vet care covered by the rescue until he gets adopted (if he ever gets adopted). My 4 other dogs tolerate him but definitely didn’t welcome him to the pack. He marked everywhere the first week. I’m glad I have tile. I’m not looking forward to going to adoption events because I would rather be doing other things on my Saturdays but maybe there is a better home for him out there. Anyway, I’m sure you will find a dog when you’re ready.
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Abigail says
Ugh, that’s awful. I know it gets to be an issue of space but… eesh. Glad you spared the dog, despite his liberal use of pee. I think HALO is just extra careful because it wants to make sure you don’t even *start* to bond with the dog until they know you’re a good candidate. Or maybe they’re just weird. Who knows.
DC @ Young Adult Money says
I saw that Jason got the NYT review and I was happy for him but so jealous! I (and I’m sure you too) would have loved to get one as well. But you are right it would be great to have the book read to the attendees. I am most likely selling my FinCon ticket this weekend…I just can’t commit the PTO to it and could better serve the site by not going. Congrats on winning the free trip though!
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Abigail says
I didn’t realize you’d planned on going. Too bad, it’d be good to meet you one of these days. And yep, definitely jealous. But heeeey if you’re not going, feel free to point your readers toward nominating my book ๐
Funny about Money says
WooHOO! Congratulations on the (expensive-sounding) win! And just look at all these comments: how awesome, Abby!
Narrow escape in the dog dept. If you’re going to adopt a dawg to add a little hassle to the aches and pains, consider getting an adult dog that’s already house-trained, leash-trained, and past the furniture-eating stage. There are so many wonderful dogs out there that will make great companions without adding to your troubles. Much. ๐
If you’re up for a larger pooch, consider a white German shepherd (by and large white Gersheps have fewer of the overbreeding health problems now seen in the black-&-tan variety, and their personalities are mellower): http://www.swgermanshepherdrescue.com/ Warning: if you click on “Available Dogs,” you’re doooomed!
Abigail says
The dog was 2 years old, so I think it’d have been out of the worst of the puppy stuff. But Tim actually wants to avoid getting an adult dog. He wants to be sure there are as few issues with previous training as possible. But I’ve recently learned that he considers a dog to be more or less a puppy up to year 2. So that’s good. I thought he was adamant about getting a dog as a baby.
Inre: furniture chewing… That’s not a huge deal. We need to eventually replace our couch anyway. It looks nice (ish) but it’s got terrible support for Tim’s back. My main concern is that we need to move the books and collectibles out of the living room until we know the dog won’t try to eat/slobber on them. Plus we need to clear off the coffee table — currently a repository for… everything — and probably get a new media console that actually has doors and will keep cords out of the pup’s reach.
Tim’s reluctant to get German Shepherds. The only two dogs that ever bit him throughout his life were that breed. He knows his dog would be better behaved but it’s a hard thing to get over, I think. We’ll see what we see. We need to start getting the living room into better shape first and foremost.
Hannah says
Congratulations on the win! I bet it feels awesome to have a little bit of relief in the financial department.
I’ve just been reading through a lot of your previous posts, and I hope that you’re giving yourself the gift of one step at a time. I need to take my own advice honestly. I know your not religious, but I am, so I’ll be praying for you and Tim.
Abigail says
Appreciate it! And yes, I’m trying to deal with things in bite-sized chunks. Okay, these three things have to get done. I’ll do one (or maybe just half of one) today. Maybe nothing tomorrow. Try again the day after. It’s slow progress but it’s there.
I hope you *do* take your own advice. You’re juggling a lot there, lady.
Practical Parsimony says
Congrats on the win. I am surprised that Tim would cuddle a cat with all his skin issues. Since he cannot get them under control, maybe the cat is what is tipping the scales for his skin even though he got over the nasal allergies. Does the skin doctor know he has a cat in the house. I am highly allergic to cats and every time I spend time with a dog, I come home with fungal infections, even from the best cared for dogs. I do hope that if I am ever in a nursing home, I am not subjected to dogs and cats being brought in to make the old folks happy. I am sure it would stress me out. But, I would welcome a chicken.
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Abigail says
No, Patches isn’t causing the issue. His skin (along with congestion) does flare up when he’s first introduced to an animal. But both settle down after a month-ish. He was tested plenty in his childhood for various allergies, and the doctors okayed his parents to keep having the dog(s) they did. So that’s not an issue.
Plus, we’ve had Patches for almost 6 years, and he *did* get his skin under control til this latest bout of stress about the appeal. He’s able to keep his skin okay when he’s not stressed.
Nancy says
Third party liability insurance: see if you can get temporary coverage through your auto insurance company for cheaper. OR if your mom is going to be a member of your household for a month or so, you might be able to add her to your insurance for nothing, as long as you report it.
Abigail says
She’s not going to be in our household for a month. But more importantly, the whole point is to avoid going through my insurance. On the off chance something does happen, my rates go up. So why risk that if someone *else* will pay to protect us?
ZJ Thorne says
I’m so glad you won! It is hard to not have a dog. I know it is not prudent financially or time wise right now, but I want the joy and companionship so much.
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Abigail says
Yep, it’s a struggle. As you saw on Twitter I even saw a litter of adorable, non-Chihuahua pups (which is rare here) that give me the feels. But some more stuff is going on with Tim and I’m not sure if getting a dog now would help the situation or just leave me with a dog to take care of in addition to trying to help him. Sigh.
Kalie @ Pretend to Be Poor says
Congrats on the win! You deserve it ๐
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